Tween daughter looks older

[Anonymous]

I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this happened to me and both my DDs. We are all very tall (over 5'8" at 13) and curvy. My 13 year old is at least a DDD.
I have told my kids for a long time that people are going to assume that you are older and that they will probably get attention from older boys/men. That prepared them so they could come back with "I'm in middle school" response.

I can't blame the guys for the assumption because my kids do look a lot older.

I did have a grown man check my 12 year old at the pool though and there was no excuse for that. Some people are just creeps.

That must be tough for a 13 year old girl having DDD breasts. The girls with large breasts at this age get a lot of attention. Boys their age act like fools and older teens just want to see them. Grown men try to stare without anyone noticing.

Does your 13 year old complain about it being a burden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

Huh?

I have a teen son. He is very charming and quite capable of having conversations and is social and has had girlfriends and meets girls. He interacts with live humans all the time. Gee, what a party trick.

Many of them are like this by 16. Certainly it's not 99 percent of teen boys can't hold a conversation.

I see on here this constant normalization that all teen boys are basement dwellers who interact only through video games. If that is your son and his friends and his life, that is a your son problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

Absolutely happens. My 13 year old (who is petite and not well endowed) gets asked out a lot when she is in places where there are HS kids (games, meets, etc.), but once she tells them how old she is, they have NEVER pursued it further. MS boys have been much more persistent; initially she used to worry about hurting their feelings, but now she's just a very straightforward 'NO. I'm not interested'. Which doesn't get them off her back, BTW. She has to repeat herself and sometimes just quit responding/block them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

They don't ask for their number of course, they ask for their Snapchat name. Or send their friends to ask.

Also, some demographic groups are more promiscuous than others...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who had this issue. She master the "are you an idiot???" looks followed by the incredulous, "Ummm...no. I'm 12," followed by an eye roll and flounce off.

As she got older it evolved into an excellent "drop dead, moron" look that usually served as enough of a deterrent.

Seriously, though, I can only imagine how awkward and motifying that is for a tween. Helping her learn to brush them off and walk away knowing it's about them, not her, is the best advice I have. And sometimes the brush off is indeed more effective with some attitude than when done too politely, which teen boys may see as a sign of weakness.

This is so rude though - the high schooler doesn't know she's 12, he thinks she's his age. Teach her to say no and walk away. She doesn't need to be an a-hole about it.

+1. Your family member sounds like a jerk.

+2

Teaching a 12yo to be rude and call names to another kid (and yes, that 16yo boy is still a kid) is shameful.

Yeah, she wasn't a jerk, and she never called them names. That may have been what the look was intended to communicate, but from a shy 12 year old it doesn't come across that way. Honestly, without a little *mental* attitude on her part, it wasn't effective. Keep in mind that with the dynamics of a shy 12 year old talking to a presumably confident and outgoing (if he's approaching random girls) teen boy, whatever she's thinking is going to be watered down by at least 50% before it comes out. So thinking with some attitude might get you to an actual clear, polite, firm communication.

You said she rolled her eyes and "gave them a 'drop dead moron' look." Yes, that is acting like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this happened to me and both my DDs. We are all very tall (over 5'8" at 13) and curvy. My 13 year old is at least a DDD.
I have told my kids for a long time that people are going to assume that you are older and that they will probably get attention from older boys/men. That prepared them so they could come back with "I'm in middle school" response.

I can't blame the guys for the assumption because my kids do look a lot older.

I did have a grown man check my 12 year old at the pool though and there was no excuse for that. Some people are just creeps.

That must be tough for a 13 year old girl having DDD breasts. The girls with large breasts at this age get a lot of attention. Boys their age act like fools and older teens just want to see them. Grown men try to stare without anyone noticing.

Does your 13 year old complain about it being a burden?

She doesn't really complain about them from an attention point of view but the boobs are a pain when shopping, especially for swimsuits. I told her that as soon as she stops growing, we can look at getting her a reduction if that is something she wants.

[Anonymous]

You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Why are men???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

Yeah, she can be real proud until they start to sag, then she can join the rest of us bemoaning that we have become "invisible." Funny how males don't lose their "power."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

Yeah, she can be real proud until they start to sag, then she can join the rest of us bemoaning that we have become "invisible." Funny how males don't lose their "power."

Her mom should also teach her about bras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

Yeah, she can be real proud until they start to sag, then she can join the rest of us bemoaning that we have become "invisible." Funny how males don't lose their "power."

Her mom should also teach her about bras.

Suuuure,
That brass gonna do squat as she ages. People can tell young breasts from jacked up older ones, but sure lingerie will help her keep her self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

This is the experience of my daughters (2) and their friends. They don't get approached by teen boys. They do get dates, boyfriends from school. But they're not harassed or approached by boys they don't know.
I've actually thought to myself that boys in this day and age are better in this regard.