Would you tell your child if they were ugly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a MENA background and moms “out of love” and looking after the best interest of their children (particularly girls) would tell their child if they were unattractive or ugly and strongly encourage plastic surgery. After speaking to a friend who is of South Korean descent she basically said the same thing. Korean mothers would push plastic surgery or be very controlling about weight. Obviously this is also highly toxic behavior and has become increasingly unacceptable in today’s social climate. So would you tell your child if they were ugly? Would you push your child towards plastic surgery if it would benefit them? Why or why not?

I'm South Korean (American), and none of my siblings nor I would ever do this.

My dad, old school in his 90s, said he'd pay for my double eyelid surgery, and my mom freaked out and told him he was being ridiculous. I never got it done. Never wanted to, though some of my female cousins had it done.

Asians are very image conscious and very in your face about it.

My one DC is breaking out in really bad acne, and I do try to help them with that but I try not to focus on it too too much.

[Anonymous]

I knew one person growing up who was objectively ugly. I don't know if she had a birth defect or not, but she was really unattractive. Her features were misshapen a bit, like really droopy eyes, unusually long face. I felt a bit sorry for her, tbh. She kind of look liked her mom, and they were married, so as the adage goes.. there's a lid for every pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never in a million years tell a child they were ugly.

I'm somewhat familiar with South Korea. People always note how the moms never look like their children. South Korea does excess very well. I like South Korea a lot, but can't say it's the healthiest country.

I'll note a couple of things.

If you are just talking about attractiveness, being fit is where it's at. Almost everyone looks good when they are strong and exude that healthy glow and the body that comes from physically pushing it. Add a great personality. Kind. Smart. Funny. Empathetic. 10/10.

But what makes someone truly beautiful is the energy within. Looks fade for everyone. Would never make that the focus of one's sense of self.

So, exercise. Be kind. Make friends. It'll work out.

I can guarantee that making your child's appearance at this moment in time an issue is not going to work out well.



Whoever wrote that - you are awesome and right!

[Anonymous]

If she's stupid and mean I would. A woman needs a source of income.

[Anonymous]

I can’t think of anyone that is truly ugly. If you asked my husband, he would tell you that my ugliest friend is one that is obese. She actually has very pretty features and a proportionate body (albeit very large). She also has lots of health concerns because of her weight.

As someone said above, if you are fit you are already not ugly. Nice make up, haircut and clothes will make anyone pretty.
I would never tell my kids that they are ugly. Thankfully, all three are quite pretty. That said, I can already tell that while my oldest has less desirable face features, she inherited her aunt model body and might end up being the best looking of the three in the end.

[Anonymous]

If a child is ugly they will know it, society will tell them so. I think if the child ever came to you and said oh I hate my nose people make fun of it, or something like that, then you could say oh if you want we can do a surgery. But if the child doesn't bring it up, let it be.

[Anonymous]

Wtf no way

[Anonymous]

No! But if they felt they were shamefully unattractive, and I felt like they could really benefit from surgery, and I could afford it, okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a MENA background and moms “out of love” and looking after the best interest of their children (particularly girls) would tell their child if they were unattractive or ugly and strongly encourage plastic surgery. After speaking to a friend who is of South Korean descent she basically said the same thing. Korean mothers would push plastic surgery or be very controlling about weight. Obviously this is also highly toxic behavior and has become increasingly unacceptable in today’s social climate. So would you tell your child if they were ugly? Would you push your child towards plastic surgery if it would benefit them? Why or why not?

What a horrible thing to do to a child. In my opinion this is child abuse. Very few of us are movie star beautiful but all children are beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That news story in China where man sues wife for having too much surgery to appear pretty but their kids born with her old looks come to mind

That was a fake story that ruined the career of the model in the photo. The photo in the meme was from an advertisement and not her real children or husband. It’s sad that this myth is still following that woman decades later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only met 2 ugly people in my whole life. Truthfully.

I feel like truly ugly people aren’t terribly common. Not everyone looks like a supermodel but I think I can find beauty in most everyone.

+1. Almost everyone can look good until their mid-40s. Some of us may have to put more effort into it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only met 2 ugly people in my whole life. Truthfully.

I feel like truly ugly people aren’t terribly common. Not everyone looks like a supermodel but I think I can find beauty in most everyone.

+1. Almost everyone can look good until their mid-40s. Some of us may have to put more effort into it!

That’s not what other people are thinking Karen

[Anonymous]

I am North Indian and almost 90% of people in our community would improve their appearance by good old grooming. I am talking about a good haircut, removing unwanted hair from their face and body, and wearing well fitting and smart clothes.

Mostly, Indians are more focussed on academics and other issues. This means that they will incorporate health routines in their day (yoga, dental care, neti, oiling the hair before shampoo, oil massage before shower, shower, putting lotion, deodorant or talc) but other than that, it will be minimal effort to look nice.

The good part is that even if they do something small in terms of grooming and appearance, they look pretty nice. Most of them are average weight, nice features, thick hair, average skin and healthy teeth. I rarely see Indians getting fake nails or mani-pedi though. That is another level for them.

[Anonymous]

No. Absolutely not.

If a kid is unattractive, their peers will let them know. They will know. They don't need to hear it from their parents at all. They need their parents to build them up and praise them for the things that are good about them. They need their parents to make sure they have clothes and hair that are appropriate for them and flattering and that they like to wear. My kid would be the most self confident "ugly kid" that you ever met.

One of my friends in high school was amazingly plain. She also had an amazing, charming personality and had plenty of friends and plenty of dates. She is a very successful physical therapist now. Married with children.

The French describe women like her as ‘Jolie Laide.' It means "pretty/ugly" but it's more about appreciating unique beauty.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I will prompt my kids about their appearance. Am I not supposed to do that?

Weight, teeth, hair, skin, posture - are things that fall under the category of health in my opinion and most people can improve and maintain that.