If you had a completely non-potty trained 5 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between havimg accidents and not being potty trained.

Having accidents at 5 is developmentally appropriate. Not being potty trained isn't.

Right, but the OP acknowledged this child likely has a developmental disability, in which case it shouldn't be shocking that such a child isn't potty trained by kindergarten.

I really wonder how the OP could be a teacher for "a long time" and still be so dumbfounded by this.

[Anonymous]

This absolutely has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

Unfortunately, if you've been following the school forums, there's been a string of threads addressing students with special needs where current and former teachers have displayed incredible ignorance and intolerance towards kids with disabilities.

This can't be an experienced kindergarten teacher, but it could be an older elementary teacher that recently switched to K. And if her colleagues knew she wasn't able to deal with kids with disabilities, they may have given her classes without kids with IEPs. That doesn't work for kindergarten, though, because a lot of kids won't get IEPs until after school starts.

[Anonymous]

There was a kid like this in my DD’s K class. He was also practically non verbal, couldn’t hold a pencil or scissors and couldn’t keep his hand out of his pants. Was an only child who lived with two parents and a grandma who was his full time caregiver. No preschool. Parents and grandma were in complete denial and fought services for most of the year. And no the teacher should not have told me all of this but she did.

[Anonymous]

It isn’t uncommon the last few years to have kids who show up to kindergarten wearing diapers or Pull Ups. My daughter who teaches kindergarten has had a few students in the last few years who haven’t been trained. In one case, there was a developmental delay but in the other cases, the parents just said the kid didn’t want to learn. The parents did send in Pull Ups but the kids were expected to change them.

[Anonymous]

I didn't think they were allowed to enroll in school at 5 if they weren't potty trained. Isn't that a health issue and you aren't supposed to be changing diapers? I know lots of kids who were kicked out of Pre-K for this and it wasn't a medical issue, but K is a whole year later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

Unfortunately, if you've been following the school forums, there's been a string of threads addressing students with special needs where current and former teachers have displayed incredible ignorance and intolerance towards kids with disabilities.

This can't be an experienced kindergarten teacher, but it could be an older elementary teacher that recently switched to K. And if her colleagues knew she wasn't able to deal with kids with disabilities, they may have given her classes without kids with IEPs. That doesn't work for kindergarten, though, because a lot of kids won't get IEPs until after school starts.

She is perplexed and frustrated, it's a normal reaction, especially since the parents are non communicative and uninvolved. The special needs forum is full of parents who say I can't do this for the rest of my life, but here we are going to bash K teachers for trying to ameliorate a tough situation while also wrangling 12-15 other 5 year olds.

[Anonymous]

It’s more like 25 other kindergartners.

[Anonymous]

As a busy kindergarten teacher you probably can only ask the parents to pack more set of clothes for their kid to change when accidents happen. At my then 3 year old’s school teachers encourage kids to change themselves and help wipe off but nothing else. You may also want to compliment the child if he/she tries to go potty. Potty training is too much work if parents don’t train at home or there’s medical reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn’t uncommon the last few years to have kids who show up to kindergarten wearing diapers or Pull Ups. My daughter who teaches kindergarten has had a few students in the last few years who haven’t been trained. In one case, there was a developmental delay but in the other cases, the parents just said the kid didn’t want to learn. The parents did send in Pull Ups but the kids were expected to change them.

I know sometimes older kids wear them for nighttime so it’s not that surprising. I babysat for a 5th grade boy who still needed them. He was just a very heavy sleeper and it wasn’t something he could control. It’s no big deal, they will outgrow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

Unfortunately, if you've been following the school forums, there's been a string of threads addressing students with special needs where current and former teachers have displayed incredible ignorance and intolerance towards kids with disabilities.

This can't be an experienced kindergarten teacher, but it could be an older elementary teacher that recently switched to K. And if her colleagues knew she wasn't able to deal with kids with disabilities, they may have given her classes without kids with IEPs. That doesn't work for kindergarten, though, because a lot of kids won't get IEPs until after school starts.

She is perplexed and frustrated, it's a normal reaction, especially since the parents are non communicative and uninvolved. The special needs forum is full of parents who say I can't do this for the rest of my life, but here we are going to bash K teachers for trying to ameliorate a tough situation while also wrangling 12-15 other 5 year olds.

I’m the person that thinks this is a troll. I have a kid with profound special needs that wears a diaper at age 14, has no communication and is in a self contained class. I don’t believe any actual long time teacher would be “perplexed”. Frustrated — sure. Trying to push to get this kid the services they need, which might not be in her class — sure. But this big eyed “how on earth does this ever happen” is troll level nonsense.

And to the other poster, sure there are some teachers that act pretty jerky about special needs kids. But I still call troll on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

Unfortunately, if you've been following the school forums, there's been a string of threads addressing students with special needs where current and former teachers have displayed incredible ignorance and intolerance towards kids with disabilities.

This can't be an experienced kindergarten teacher, but it could be an older elementary teacher that recently switched to K. And if her colleagues knew she wasn't able to deal with kids with disabilities, they may have given her classes without kids with IEPs. That doesn't work for kindergarten, though, because a lot of kids won't get IEPs until after school starts.

She is perplexed and frustrated, it's a normal reaction, especially since the parents are non communicative and uninvolved. The special needs forum is full of parents who say I can't do this for the rest of my life, but here we are going to bash K teachers for trying to ameliorate a tough situation while also wrangling 12-15 other 5 year olds.

I’m the person that thinks this is a troll. I have a kid with profound special needs that wears a diaper at age 14, has no communication and is in a self contained class. I don’t believe any actual long time teacher would be “perplexed”. Frustrated — sure. Trying to push to get this kid the services they need, which might not be in her class — sure. But this big eyed “how on earth does this ever happen” is troll level nonsense.

And to the other poster, sure there are some teachers that act pretty jerky about special needs kids. But I still call troll on this one.

My guess is that they are either relatively new and/or teach at a private school. Some private schools don't accommodate students with special needs so there are fewer of them to begin with. Also, at our ES, there are a lot of dual-working parents so most kids attended fulltime daycare/preschool, and it gets addressed there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a psychiatrist and have had patients who weren’t able to teach their children developmentally appropriate behavior, either because of serious childhood trauma themselves (think sadistic parents, not neglectful ones), borderline intellect, or schizophrenia in the parent.

Personally, I would contact CPS, and they can go into the home and do an investigation.

CPS wouldn't investigate this. They have much bigger fish to fry than an untrained 5 yr old.

I don’t know. There are only a few sentences in the OP, so it’s kind of a blank slate to project your own experiences onto.
You are picturing a kid with involved, but not particularly adept or worldly parents, and the kid has undiagnosed ASD who needs services.
I am picturing a kid with a parent who is dealing with serious mental illness or substance use disorder (opiates?) who hasn’t been taught basic developmental skills because the parent can’t parent, and the child is still in diapers and kept in a playpen most of the day.

Both look like a kid who isn’t potty trained at 5 and has some other developmental delays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a troll, there’s no teacher in the world like this.

Unfortunately, if you've been following the school forums, there's been a string of threads addressing students with special needs where current and former teachers have displayed incredible ignorance and intolerance towards kids with disabilities.

This can't be an experienced kindergarten teacher, but it could be an older elementary teacher that recently switched to K. And if her colleagues knew she wasn't able to deal with kids with disabilities, they may have given her classes without kids with IEPs. That doesn't work for kindergarten, though, because a lot of kids won't get IEPs until after school starts.

She is perplexed and frustrated, it's a normal reaction, especially since the parents are non communicative and uninvolved. The special needs forum is full of parents who say I can't do this for the rest of my life, but here we are going to bash K teachers for trying to ameliorate a tough situation while also wrangling 12-15 other 5 year olds.

I’m the person that thinks this is a troll. I have a kid with profound special needs that wears a diaper at age 14, has no communication and is in a self contained class. I don’t believe any actual long time teacher would be “perplexed”. Frustrated — sure. Trying to push to get this kid the services they need, which might not be in her class — sure. But this big eyed “how on earth does this ever happen” is troll level nonsense.

And to the other poster, sure there are some teachers that act pretty jerky about special needs kids. But I still call troll on this one.

I DON”T because I’m gonna bet your kid came in to K with an IEP. In that case, this is fine. The OP is talking about a kid who has no identified needs, no IEP and is NOT potty trained. IF the issue is profound disability, that kid should already have an IEP. If a kid walks off the street in K, they are expected to be toilet trained and it will take at least 4-6 months to get that kid the services he/she needs.

She is asking HOW THIS HAPPENS because the parents never flagged toilet training issue. They never sought services and just started their kid.

PSA- if you are a parent and your kid isn’t toilet trained by K, get your kid to child find and get services.