Why don’t elderly people “get” autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m at a loss with my mother. She’s in her mid-70s. I was out at the grocery store with her and we were in line when she caught the eye of one of two little boys in line behind her. The first boy carried on a short conversation with her, and then she moved on to converse with the other boy, only this caused him to have a mini-meltdown, stomping, pulling his hair and loudly screaming NO! NO! NO! at my mother. The mother of the boy simply tried to calm the boy down and ignored my mother.

In the car my mother couldn’t believe how the boy had “treated her”, and chastised the mother for not correcting him or apologizing for him. “She just let him act that way and speak to me like that!” I attempted to explain that he was likely autistic, or otherwise differently-abled, but she wasn’t having it.

Why are they so clueless about these disabilities yet claim to know everything about literally anything else?

I wonder how/why you're so clueless. How much experience has your mom had with anyone with a disability? Do you know that disabled people used to be institutionalized or otherwise hidden away? I'm 53, when my disability was diagnosed my mom was told to put me in a home. While growing up, my mom knew a family who put their disabled son in a closet when anyone came over. Kids who misbehaved at school or home were physically disciplined... no matter the reason.

Your mom doesn't "get it" because it's out of her realm of experience. Some 20/30/40 year oldest better hope nothing changes as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

Fine. OPs mom is geriatric.

No, I am not blatantly wrong.

I work in healthcare, with ELDERLY patients. ELDERLY is the appropriate medical clinical term for people 65 years of age and older, and it is widely utilized. I happen to work with patients seeing doctors in some of the premier healthcare centers of this nation/world.

But please, enjoy your twisted panties poster.

[Anonymous]

I don't think what the mother did is that bad. She was just trying to make small talk with some children, and got a shocking and rude response back (possibly due to special needs, but we don't actually know that) and she saved her comments for the car. She didn't yell at the kid or his mother. She simply expressed her shock to a third party in private later.

If the child is special needs, I empathize with the mother, and I agree that the child shouldn't be hidden away. If the child is never allowed to go out, it will be difficult for him to learn how to interact with others and behave in public. But then, as part of going out, shouldn't the mother take steps to gently correct him? I'm far younger than the OP's mother, but I would expect the child's mother to model civility by apologizing, or try to explain to the child that this woman was only trying to say hello. Or I would expect that when the mother noticed the woman talking to her other son, she would step in and explain her younger son is very shy and please not address him, to try to head off that sort of meltdown. To be fair, maybe the mother does have techniques and therapies that she will implement at home or in the car when the child is calm. Perhaps what she did was in line with the advice she was given. I don't think it's awful, though, for OP's mother to opine about it, out of earshot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

Fine. OPs mom is geriatric.

No, I am not blatantly wrong.

I work in healthcare, with ELDERLY patients. ELDERLY is the appropriate medical clinical term for people 65 years of age and older, and it is widely utilized. I happen to work with patients seeing doctors in some of the premier healthcare centers of this nation/world.

But please, enjoy your twisted panties poster.

I find your response troubling, especially when your response to my citations is simply "twisted panties." Just because it's been used clinically, does not mean it's not harmful. I would *hope* that any clinician worth their salt would heed evolving research and practices to best serve their patients. The irony still being this thread is about treating people better when we know better, and your position does not make you exempt.

Here's a neurologist urging doctors to rethink the term: “[It – the term elderly] offers no useful information about any of this. In medicine it can evoke false ideas about the person being described as elderly in the listener’s mind, introduce unfair social biases and generalisations, and generate ill conceived policies.”

Here's another NIH study about the bias found in medicine using the term "elderly: "The objective of this study was to investigate and describe how the use of the term “elderly” contributes to bias and problems within the medical system. A systematic review of the relevant literature and history was conducted. The term “elderly” does not define age accurately and carries bias and prejudice that lead to harm through discriminatory practices, institutional prejudices, and “ageist” policies in society and medicine." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6566481/

Dr. Hekmat-Panah feels that aging is not a disease per se and this term marks out the older individuals from other patients. He writes, “Aging is not a disease, it is a progressive biological change and there may be vast differences in the health of people who are aged 65 and over. One older patient may not be able to tolerate a medical treatment because of accumulated comorbidities, but another of the same age without comorbidities may easily do so.” https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190304/The-term-elderly-must-be-avoided-in-medicine.aspx#:~:text=In%20medicine%20it%20can%20evoke,older%20individuals%20from%20other%20patients.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am not sure why you jumped to all elderly people not getting autism, from your mom's situation. Your mom is one person who had one encounter with a possibly autistic person.

I have a child who is autistic, who has 4 living elderly (70+) grandparents, and the level of understanding varies among them. My mom is super understanding and has educated herself about ASD. My dad has cognitive decline but takes my dc's quirks in stride. Dc's other grandparents know little about asd and have made no effort to change that. Ex-mil I'm sure blames it on me LOL like I care what she thinks, but my dc also does not care to be around her because dc thinks she doesn't like dc.

Anyhow, as far as the mom in the store-she was probably doing her best to calm the child. My dc generally does not have meltdowns in public but is prone to flap and make noises (not loud, just noises) and I'm sure some people think negative things about dc based on that (and yes, we are working on it), some of those people aren't elderly either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

+ 1.

My mom's best friend had a daughter with autism and my mom had compassion and understanding and so do I. Since my mom would be over 100 now if she were still alive, you can't blame your mom's insensitivity on her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

Fine. OPs mom is geriatric.

No, I am not blatantly wrong.

I work in healthcare, with ELDERLY patients. ELDERLY is the appropriate medical clinical term for people 65 years of age and older, and it is widely utilized. I happen to work with patients seeing doctors in some of the premier healthcare centers of this nation/world.

But please, enjoy your twisted panties poster.

I find your response troubling, especially when your response to my citations is simply "twisted panties." Just because it's been used clinically, does not mean it's not harmful. I would *hope* that any clinician worth their salt would heed evolving research and practices to best serve their patients. The irony still being this thread is about treating people better when we know better, and your position does not make you exempt.

Here's a neurologist urging doctors to rethink the term: “[It – the term elderly] offers no useful information about any of this. In medicine it can evoke false ideas about the person being described as elderly in the listener’s mind, introduce unfair social biases and generalisations, and generate ill conceived policies.”

Here's another NIH study about the bias found in medicine using the term "elderly: "The objective of this study was to investigate and describe how the use of the term “elderly” contributes to bias and problems within the medical system. A systematic review of the relevant literature and history was conducted. The term “elderly” does not define age accurately and carries bias and prejudice that lead to harm through discriminatory practices, institutional prejudices, and “ageist” policies in society and medicine." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6566481/

Dr. Hekmat-Panah feels that aging is not a disease per se and this term marks out the older individuals from other patients. He writes, “Aging is not a disease, it is a progressive biological change and there may be vast differences in the health of people who are aged 65 and over. One older patient may not be able to tolerate a medical treatment because of accumulated comorbidities, but another of the same age without comorbidities may easily do so.” https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190304/The-term-elderly-must-be-avoided-in-medicine.aspx#:~:text=In%20medicine%20it%20can%20evoke,older%20individuals%20from%20other%20patients.

Dr. Hekmat-Panah is an ageist monster!

[Anonymous]

I have to be honest, I think this is one of those stupid obsessions with words when the real problem is attitudes.

The word elderly has been the clinical medical term for older humans for many many many years. Once upon a time in this society we had respect for elders, when they were called elderly. It isn’t the word that needs to change, it’s the attitudes behind ageism.

I’m sure that in 3-4 decades the proposed language changes you’ve posted links to will come to predominate. But that won’t make a bit of difference in the majority of attitudes in this society.

None of the medical professionals I work with disrespect the patients they call elderly. But plenty of folks in the wider society do, and still will when the language changes.

I’m 52 and I’ve lived through the major language changes from the 70s to today. And I’m well aware that a large number of people in our society snicker and sneer to themselves and often openly when forced to use the many genderless terms that have become the norm over the decades of my life. The attitudes haven’t changed much. Misogyny is still rampant. Changing the language doesn’t change people’s hearts.

But you’re right, I’m an arse wipe - nevermind that I’ve spent the last decade soothing elderly hospice patients as they prepare to leave this world. If I don’t call them what you want me to call them I’ve got a terrible/problematic attitude. Nevermind that I’ve never heard a single elderly person call themselves or their peers geriatric. They must be arse holes, too.

[Anonymous]

When I was 20 or 30 or maybe even 40 I probably thought all "old" people were elderly. I probably thought that included everyone over 60 and at some point I might have thought it included people in their 50s. Now that I am in my late 60s I do not view myself or others near my age as elderly. To me the elderly are those in their late 70s and older and even then some of them don't act elderly at all. There are huge variations ranging from very frail, vulnerable 70 yr olds to very active, fit and sharp 90 yr olds. I know them.

Trust me when I say that you will view how others perceive you differently when you get there yourself, just like you roll your eyes now if a teen in your life thinks you are old because you are in your 30s or 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to be honest, I think this is one of those stupid obsessions with words when the real problem is attitudes.

The word elderly has been the clinical medical term for older humans for many many many years. Once upon a time in this society we had respect for elders, when they were called elderly. It isn’t the word that needs to change, it’s the attitudes behind ageism.

I’m sure that in 3-4 decades the proposed language changes you’ve posted links to will come to predominate. But that won’t make a bit of difference in the majority of attitudes in this society.

None of the medical professionals I work with disrespect the patients they call elderly. But plenty of folks in the wider society do, and still will when the language changes.

I’m 52 and I’ve lived through the major language changes from the 70s to today. And I’m well aware that a large number of people in our society snicker and sneer to themselves and often openly when forced to use the many genderless terms that have become the norm over the decades of my life. The attitudes haven’t changed much. Misogyny is still rampant. Changing the language doesn’t change people’s hearts.

But you’re right, I’m an arse wipe - nevermind that I’ve spent the last decade soothing elderly hospice patients as they prepare to leave this world. If I don’t call them what you want me to call them I’ve got a terrible/problematic attitude. Nevermind that I’ve never heard a single elderly person call themselves or their peers geriatric. They must be arse holes, too.

I 100% disagree, and don't think your work means that you can just ignore what gerontologists are finding and recommending. If you're working with hospice patients why wouldn't you care about gerontological research? Further, you have no idea that your colleagues don't exhibit bias to their patients. You couldn't possibly know that.

Yes, movements are slow, but why not go after change in many ways. Changing language does influence change. We have changed so many racist terms for good reason: they were harmful. Yours is such a defeatist attitude: why bother?

Resisting change leads to further ageist stereotyping.

[Anonymous]

Kids have meltdowns, it may not be autism. You sound pretty judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to be honest, I think this is one of those stupid obsessions with words when the real problem is attitudes.

The word elderly has been the clinical medical term for older humans for many many many years. Once upon a time in this society we had respect for elders, when they were called elderly. It isn’t the word that needs to change, it’s the attitudes behind ageism.

I’m sure that in 3-4 decades the proposed language changes you’ve posted links to will come to predominate. But that won’t make a bit of difference in the majority of attitudes in this society.

None of the medical professionals I work with disrespect the patients they call elderly. But plenty of folks in the wider society do, and still will when the language changes.

I’m 52 and I’ve lived through the major language changes from the 70s to today. And I’m well aware that a large number of people in our society snicker and sneer to themselves and often openly when forced to use the many genderless terms that have become the norm over the decades of my life. The attitudes haven’t changed much. Misogyny is still rampant. Changing the language doesn’t change people’s hearts.

But you’re right, I’m an arse wipe - nevermind that I’ve spent the last decade soothing elderly hospice patients as they prepare to leave this world. If I don’t call them what you want me to call them I’ve got a terrible/problematic attitude. Nevermind that I’ve never heard a single elderly person call themselves or their peers geriatric. They must be arse holes, too.

I 100% disagree, and don't think your work means that you can just ignore what gerontologists are finding and recommending. If you're working with hospice patients why wouldn't you care about gerontological research? Further, you have no idea that your colleagues don't exhibit bias to their patients. You couldn't possibly know that.

Yes, movements are slow, but why not go after change in many ways. Changing language does influence change. We have changed so many racist terms for good reason: they were harmful. Yours is such a defeatist attitude: why bother?

Resisting change leads to further ageist stereotyping.

I am not the poster you are responding to, but I disagree with you. The gerontologists are mixing up cause and effect - people aren't ageist because of the term "elderly" - they are ageist because they assume people of a certain age currently described as "elderly" are going to be/act a certain way. There is nothing inherently ageist about that term. If you replace the term "elderly" with a new one, they will still have the same bias. I highly doubt there are any true studies that show if you call an elderly person an "older adult" it will have any meaningful impact on the way they are treated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elderly get more self centered as they get older, like toddlers.

Because it was called m3ntally r3tarded back then and for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

Snap!

[Anonymous]

I find it more puzzling that OP immediately assumed the child was autistic from one particular episode she witnessed.