Why don’t elderly people “get” autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

Your mom isn’t exactly wrong. This kid had an huge, violent loud meltdown because she was trying to make nice small chat with him. That can be off putting for anyone. At least now she knows to not try to speak to little kids in any capacity like she used to. Win-win.

Incredibly sad if this is the takeaway from this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

Your mom isn’t exactly wrong. This kid had an huge, violent loud meltdown because she was trying to make nice small chat with him. That can be off putting for anyone. At least now she knows to not try to speak to little kids in any capacity like she used to. Win-win.

Incredibly sad if this is the takeaway from this situation.

It would be sad if one not-actually-harmful experience caused her to make that choice, but it would be her choice. Some people choose to be flexible... wonder if OP's mom is on the spectrum herself?

[Anonymous]

Your mom sounds like a narcissist. Does she always ignore what you say?

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but you are wrong about the times your mom grew up in. My sister and I are in the same age bracket as you. My sister has Down syndrome and my mother has been approached by a few ladies in the same age as your mother and been asked why we brought her out in public and we should be keeping her at home. “Back in the day they were not allowed in public.” So you could show a little grace to your mom and in turn she’ll
Project that forward as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

Your mom isn’t exactly wrong. This kid had an huge, violent loud meltdown because she was trying to make nice small chat with him. That can be off putting for anyone. At least now she knows to not try to speak to little kids in any capacity like she used to. Win-win.

You got “huge” and “violent” from what OP said was a “mini meltdown”? Some of you are really quick to label kids negatively. Really makes you wonder about the parents on this site.

[Anonymous]

It’s thoughtful and insightful for those who understand where the Mom is coming from. It’s also understandable how the daughter was taken aback by the mothers reaction.
Can you imagine how great life could be if we could all be thoughtful and insightful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In earlier times it was much more common for children to have meltdowns in the grocery store. Grocery deliveries to homes did not exist. Parents had to take their kids with them to get groceries. When meltdowns happened the parent would be apologetic to the grocery clerk and those around them. It is really a matter of the parent having common courtesy to those around them in the community.

I'm not sure an apology to OP Mom is in order. It sounds like a very self centered old person creating the problem. OP didn't say they were previously misbehaving. It started when OP Mom started talking to the kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m curious though how OP knows this child actually has special needs? Maybe it was just a kid and his parent being rude? Mostly OP just sounds like she doesn’t like her own mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious though how OP knows this child actually has special needs? Maybe it was just a kid and his parent being rude? Mostly OP just sounds like she doesn’t like her own mother.

She doesn’t know. This post was nothing but OP being judgmental of a child, mother, and the “elderly”. I’d be willing to bet OP is herself a narcissist piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

Fine. OPs mom is geriatric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

I agree with your comment about ageism insofar as OP is projecting her mother's behavior onto all elderly people.

But your admonishment about using the term elderly is inappropriate; elderly is the clinical term for anyone 65 years of age or older, 65-74 is early elderly, 74+ is late elderly. There is nothing wrong or insulting about the word elderly, it is the proper term for late stage human existence.

You are blatantly wrong.

Here's a study from the NIH showing that: "Results demonstrated that the term “elderly” was framed powerlessly, in predominantly negative (74%) stereotypical messages about older adults." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9132357/

The Gerontological Society of Aging has been actively promoting guidelines about age-inclusive language, which is fortunately being adopted: "New guidelines from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, Associated Press and the GSA are taking guidance from Reframing Aging, and moving towards eliminating ageist language." https://publichealth.wustl.edu/age-inclusive-language-are-you-using-it-in-your-writing-and-everyday-speech/

Here's a 2011 editorial by several academics referencing how the term is ageist based on a 2000 study: "The term elderly is ageist. Ageist terms are those terms in which a stereotype is promulgated and treatment is delivered differently on the basis of age.1 " https://journals.lww.com/jgpt/fulltext/2011/10000/use_of_the_term__elderly_.1.aspx

Fine. OPs mom is geriatric.

Wow, you really want to be that person. The complete irony is that this thread is based on people doing better, when they know better. I pointed out research demonstrating on the evolution of terminology because of its harmfulness, but you're just going to stick your head in the sand. Okay. Hopefully others will come around by the time you're an older adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is: why are some people so ageist?

OP this is about your mother. Not about legions of older adults. Get a clue. Also, it's "older adults" not "elderly people."

Finally, you are just like your mom. You want her to have compassion, yet you have none for her.

Your mom isn’t exactly wrong. This kid had an huge, violent loud meltdown because she was trying to make nice small chat with him. That can be off putting for anyone. At least now she knows to not try to speak to little kids in any capacity like she used to. Win-win.

You got “huge” and “violent” from what OP said was a “mini meltdown”? Some of you are really quick to label kids negatively. Really makes you wonder about the parents on this site.

Yes this is exactly what I got from this - “this caused him to have a mini-meltdown, stomping, pulling his hair and loudly screaming NO! NO! NO! at my mother”.
Your kid can’t handle a simple small convo and they are screaming, pulling their hair and stomping and I need to check myself. GTFOH.

[Anonymous]

Very inappropriate for OP and some commenters to buy into the concept that older people don't "get" autism. I retired from a job working with kids with autism and behavior issues and many other IEP labels a few years ago and some of the best of my staff peers were the older people. I now live in an over 55 community where all the residents are very empathetic, helpful and friendly to the few autistic older adults who live here.

In the 1950s my brother was diagnosed hyperactive. My mother was very knowledgeable and sympathetic to kids with similar issues and if she were still alive she'd be over 100 yrs old, so definitely elderly.

With some exceptions it seems that people on DCUM sure do make a lot of assumptions about things they don't know much about. Stereotyping is rampant, especially ageism.

[Anonymous]

I think this is more about a lack of respect. My mother will ask innocuous questions on the local Facebook group like "Does anywhere around here sell fresh deli sandwiches" and get absolutely mean-spirited responses "It's called Google, Grandma" which bring her to tears. She says "Can't they tell I'm an old lady? People used to be nice to old ladies." I do feel for her. In this situation she would have expected the mother to make eye contact with her and maybe whisper an apology, but being ignored would bother her as well.