Older men hugging younger women at work, on camera in public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

It is normal to me that you would feel this way. I think the older generation needs to learn to stop doing that.

I’ve seen worse but

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

Threads like these demonize men and, over time, you begin to see all men as demons and perverts. Get off DCUM if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. At one of my very first jobs when I was part time and a college student, at an office holiday party, one of the older men got drunk, and he literally chased my around the office trying to kiss me. He was saying he wanted to kiss me. My boss who is a woman, and a smoker, she got in the way and told him he could kiss her. But this was a big man. I was frightened, even if I may not have shown that I was frightened.

Great story but what's the point of saying she's a smoker? Did she offer to share her butt with him?

Not her butt, just her lips.

[Anonymous]

Hugging in the workplace is rarely okay — only if you’re really close to the person. In other words you better be damn sure that the other person is okay with it. Otherwise, expect to get in trouble. That’s the way it should be. I’ve worked at my firm for 20 years and there is maybe one person I would hug. Maybe a second if his dad died or something. And I am a super friendly person!

[Anonymous]

I have never seen anything like that. I worked in academia for a long time, and lots of people there are a bit different, but can't even imagine anyone touching anyone else in any manner. It's just taboo. Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen anything like that. I worked in academia for a long time, and lots of people there are a bit different, but can't even imagine anyone touching anyone else in any manner. It's just taboo. Very weird.

nerds don't count

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults hug. Physical contact, including hugging, is normal for humans. Hugging is not a problem, nonconsensual hugging is.

Nope. If you feel a need to hug, hug your partner or your dog or your kids. Don’t touch me other than a handshake. And don’t EVER assume that because something is OK with you, it’s OK with someone else.

- mid 50s man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

Threads like these demonize men and, over time, you begin to see all men as demons and perverts. Get off DCUM if you can.

No, threads like these demonize creepy, non consensual touching that has been forced on people because of old power structures.

Men who don’t engage in gross nonconsensenual exploitation of power imbalances don’t have anything to worry about.

- middle aged man

[Anonymous]

That's definitely odd as all the men I know are deathly afraid to say something wrong to women at work, let alone touch them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

Threads like these demonize men and, over time, you begin to see all men as demons and perverts. Get off DCUM if you can.

No, threads like these demonize creepy, non consensual touching that has been forced on people because of old power structures.

Men who don’t engage in gross nonconsensenual exploitation of no power imbalances don’t have anything to worry about.

- middle aged man

Thank you! It’s very heartening to see men speaking up on these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

Threads like these demonize men and, over time, you begin to see all men as demons and perverts. Get off DCUM if you can.

No, threads like these demonize creepy, non consensual touching that has been forced on people because of old power structures.

Men who don’t engage in gross nonconsensenual exploitation of power imbalances don’t have anything to worry about.

- middle aged man

Goodness. Middle aged and still no naive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

Threads like these demonize men and, over time, you begin to see all men as demons and perverts. Get off DCUM if you can.

No, threads like these demonize creepy, non consensual touching that has been forced on people because of old power structures.

Men who don’t engage in gross nonconsensenual exploitation of power imbalances don’t have anything to worry about.

- middle aged man

Goodness. Middle aged and still no naive

What’s naive about what PP said?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults hug. Physical contact, including hugging, is normal for humans. Hugging is not a problem, nonconsensual hugging is.

Nope. If you feel a need to hug, hug your partner or your dog or your kids. Don’t touch me other than a handshake. And don’t EVER assume that because something is OK with you, it’s OK with someone else.

- mid 50s man

You seem to not understand the word "nonconsensual".

[Anonymous]

I’m so confused by this thread.
I have worked in media, advertising and politics and in all these scenarios people hug. They don’t like - rub up on one another - but they do hug. It’s so weird to me that this is now not ok. If it’s not ok then hundreds of thousands of people should get this memo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jfc. You need to find bigger things to worry about. Wait till you start getting major health scares then you won’t get triggered when someone hugs someone else.

If you are a much larger man doesn’t mean you’re a robot and doesn’t mean you want to sleep w people you’re just being human. Grabbing *ss - now that’s not ideal.

With a full frontal hug, the man is literally pulling the woman close to his body and pressing her breasts up against his chest. It happened to me by a man who is higher up the chain of a command at a holiday party in front of his wife. He didn't hug anyone else all night.

I also didn't like the HR lady hugging me.

It’s not that you’re ‘wrong’
But there are just so so so so so many bigger problems to expend mental energy and concern on.
Sure if someone is like bear hugging and squeezing on many occasions then that’s weird but otherwise it’s just like - don’t create some big issue for prob people who actually have big issues to deal with

NP, Nope, full frontal hug, pushed up close - that IS something to expend mental energy on. You may choose not to and we won’t miss your posts, so feel free.

I’ve had hugs in the workplace from those way superior to me and it felt warm and friendly and was not pushed up against me at all. But I’ve been in situations with a full-on inappropriate hug and there is a difference.

But is this post about the type of hugs? Or any hug at all? That’s not clear