Older men hugging younger women at work, on camera in public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are grown women. If they have a problem with it, they can open their mouths and say something. Unless someone is hugging you, you need to butt out.

BTW, I am a legal secretary and have hugged older, partners who are men at work. We are a law firm where people become friends, people do personal favors for other employees. People lend cars, drop off soup, invite employees to bring their kids to their home to meet a new puppy, etc. Hugging is not weird at my firm.

At many law firms, men do side hugs, not full frontal embrace.

Are they 12? No hugs. How is this even a question anymore? Grow up guys.

[Anonymous]

if it would be wrong with the lights off, same with the lights on

[Anonymous]

Consent is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jfc. You need to find bigger things to worry about. Wait till you start getting major health scares then you won’t get triggered when someone hugs someone else.

If you are a much larger man doesn’t mean you’re a robot and doesn’t mean you want to sleep w people you’re just being human. Grabbing *ss - now that’s not ideal.

With a full frontal hug, the man is literally pulling the woman close to his body and pressing her breasts up against his chest. It happened to me by a man who is higher up the chain of a command at a holiday party in front of his wife. He didn't hug anyone else all night.

I also didn't like the HR lady hugging me.

It’s not that you’re ‘wrong’
But there are just so so so so so many bigger problems to expend mental energy and concern on.
Sure if someone is like bear hugging and squeezing on many occasions then that’s weird but otherwise it’s just like - don’t create some big issue for prob people who actually have big issues to deal with

So *everyone* should all focus on the bigger problems and ignore the smaller problems? Who gets to determine what the big problems are>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consent is key.

No Contact is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. At one of my very first jobs when I was part time and a college student, at an office holiday party, one of the older men got drunk, and he literally chased my around the office trying to kiss me. He was saying he wanted to kiss me. My boss who is a woman, and a smoker, she got in the way and told him he could kiss her. But this was a big man. I was frightened, even if I may not have shown that I was frightened.

Great story but what's the point of saying she's a smoker? Did she offer to share her butt with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are grown women. If they have a problem with it, they can open their mouths and say something. Unless someone is hugging you, you need to butt out.

BTW, I am a legal secretary and have hugged older, partners who are men at work. We are a law firm where people become friends, people do personal favors for other employees. People lend cars, drop off soup, invite employees to bring their kids to their home to meet a new puppy, etc. Hugging is not weird at my firm.

At many law firms, men do side hugs, not full frontal embrace.

With each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are grown women. If they have a problem with it, they can open their mouths and say something. Unless someone is hugging you, you need to butt out.

BTW, I am a legal secretary and have hugged older, partners who are men at work. We are a law firm where people become friends, people do personal favors for other employees. People lend cars, drop off soup, invite employees to bring their kids to their home to meet a new puppy, etc. Hugging is not weird at my firm.

At many law firms, men do side hugs, not full frontal embrace.

With each other?

They must be doing crab-walking all day

[Anonymous]

I see this in my industry and it's a certain type of bro/former frat boy, for lack of a better word, over the age of 40 who does this.

[Anonymous]

Adults hug. Physical contact, including hugging, is normal for humans. Hugging is not a problem, nonconsensual hugging is.

[Anonymous]

I think hugging is just not really appropriate for the workplace at all. It’s very presumptuous for men (or anyone) to move in for a hug at work; it also puts the receiver in the awkward position of being forced to hug or else move away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are grown women. If they have a problem with it, they can open their mouths and say something. Unless someone is hugging you, you need to butt out.

BTW, I am a legal secretary and have hugged older, partners who are men at work. We are a law firm where people become friends, people do personal favors for other employees. People lend cars, drop off soup, invite employees to bring their kids to their home to meet a new puppy, etc. Hugging is not weird at my firm.

Putting the onus on women to tell men what to and not to do is exactly the problem. Why can’t men just behave themselves?

[Anonymous]

I've became so sensitive that now feeling uncomfortable seeing FIL hugging little girls besides his own granddaughter but feel weird seeing him hugging other little girls in the house! Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jfc. You need to find bigger things to worry about. Wait till you start getting major health scares then you won’t get triggered when someone hugs someone else.

If you are a much larger man doesn’t mean you’re a robot and doesn’t mean you want to sleep w people you’re just being human. Grabbing *ss - now that’s not ideal.

With a full frontal hug, the man is literally pulling the woman close to his body and pressing her breasts up against his chest. It happened to me by a man who is higher up the chain of a command at a holiday party in front of his wife. He didn't hug anyone else all night.

I also didn't like the HR lady hugging me.

It’s not that you’re ‘wrong’
But there are just so so so so so many bigger problems to expend mental energy and concern on.
Sure if someone is like bear hugging and squeezing on many occasions then that’s weird but otherwise it’s just like - don’t create some big issue for prob people who actually have big issues to deal with

NP, Nope, full frontal hug, pushed up close - that IS something to expend mental energy on. You may choose not to and we won’t miss your posts, so feel free.

I’ve had hugs in the workplace from those way superior to me and it felt warm and friendly and was not pushed up against me at all. But I’ve been in situations with a full-on inappropriate hug and there is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jfc. You need to find bigger things to worry about. Wait till you start getting major health scares then you won’t get triggered when someone hugs someone else.

If you are a much larger man doesn’t mean you’re a robot and doesn’t mean you want to sleep w people you’re just being human. Grabbing *ss - now that’s not ideal.

With a full frontal hug, the man is literally pulling the woman close to his body and pressing her breasts up against his chest. It happened to me by a man who is higher up the chain of a command at a holiday party in front of his wife. He didn't hug anyone else all night.

I also didn't like the HR lady hugging me.

It’s not that you’re ‘wrong’
But there are just so so so so so many bigger problems to expend mental energy and concern on.
Sure if someone is like bear hugging and squeezing on many occasions then that’s weird but otherwise it’s just like - don’t create some big issue for prob people who actually have big issues to deal with

NP, Nope, full frontal hug, pushed up close - that IS something to expend mental energy on. You may choose not to and we won’t miss your posts, so feel free.

I’ve had hugs in the workplace from those way superior to me and it felt warm and friendly and was not pushed up against me at all. But I’ve been in situations with a full-on inappropriate hug and there is a difference.

+2

I know some people don’t care but IYKYK