Anyone find being in their elderly parents’ home so painful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

Your kids are doing something good with their life before 8am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

You sleep late when you’re hosting a houseguest like OP’s parents are?

NP here. When it's your adult child who knows where everything is and can help themselves to your food and drink, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you start the thread about old people at bad restaurants as well?

OP, didn't start the restaurant thread, but it needed to be started for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I used to feel that way. My other was sanctimoniously loud early in the morning. It was annoying.

Now my parents are so disabled they need twenty four seven care. We have caregivers listening to random videos on their iPhone and talking loudly to their friends. My parents cannot get out of bed without hoyer lifts. They cannot place phone calls.

So, what you describe is not so bad to me anymore. I recommend you stay at an Airbnb or hotel and try to appreciate that your parents are still able to do things like call people and make breakfast. Hopefully your parents will not degrade to the point my parents have. Hopefully they will die quickly without a long period of disability. But if they wind up like mine, you will look back at your younger self and realize how petty your complaints are.

But yes, old people’s homes are often uncomfortable. Old mattresses, early morning wake ups, etc. Stay elsewhere if you find you don’t sleep well because that will make you irritable and lead to the trip being less nice.

Well said. I started staying at a hotel near my parents' house so I could get enough sleep and have privacy. Try it and you will feel differently about your visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8am is a perfectly acceptable time to be up and starting the day. Get ear plugs.

I actually think it’s rude to be slamming the dishes/cabinet doors and having loud conversations with people that are overseas when you know the guest bedroom is right next to the kitchen and where you are having the conversation. Your family went out of their way to drive 5+ hours after a long work week to visit. The least they could do is be considerate of guests.

[Anonymous]

LOL. No.
First couple of days, I get the lay of the land. Then I take over. Cleaning, sorting, organizing, downsizing, house repair or upkeep, checking supplies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

You sleep late when you’re hosting a houseguest like OP’s parents are?

No I think 8am is the earliest a guest or a host should leave their rooms. It’s rude. Wake up, get dressed, use the bathroom, browse your phone. It’s rude to start banging pots at 7am.

I also don’t sleep well when I’m a guest so I’m just more tired to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL. No.
First couple of days, I get the lay of the land. Then I take over. Cleaning, sorting, organizing, downsizing, house repair or upkeep, checking supplies.

They're lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

My wife visited her mother halfway across the country for a week every month. She was extremely hard of hearing and legally blind. She died at 95 in assisted living in the late spring of 2020 after they closed off the facility to visitors because of Covid.

She still misses her every day.

You’re a shrew, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife visited her mother halfway across the country for a week every month. She was extremely hard of hearing and legally blind. She died at 95 in assisted living in the late spring of 2020 after they closed off the facility to visitors because of Covid.

She still misses her every day.

You’re a shrew, OP.

Oh, give it a rest. Everyone can vent here. You don’t know OP’s whole situation.

[Anonymous]

After a certain age you visit an old person
You do not live with them

Get a hotel room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do find the volume on the TV to be a huge, huge challenge. I suffer from misophonia so loud sounds - not all - are really hard for me. I try to turn down the volume when they are not looking. I don't watch many screens, but when I do, I try to keep the volume down to train myself for this age.

Or you could get earplugs or Banz or whatever. They probably have age related hearing loss, which does not always necessitate hearing aids, which can be their own unique challenge. Why are you changing their environment to suit you instead of understanding it’s their environment and you should adapt for your short term stay?

I'm not the OP, so work on your reading comprehension if you want to go in blast mode.

I do try to turn it down because they want to talk with me while the TV is in some astronomically high volume range. I just went through this with ILs and found it hard to have critical conversations with them when the TV is dominating the air. MiL initiates these topics then keeps on saying "what, what."

NP. Have them put on subtitles and leave the volume at a normal level. That’s what my parents do.

I'm trying to get them to do that.

[Anonymous]

Hotel! Staying with old people is seldom relaxing or enjoyable. They seem to forget how to host or just be considerate of others. If you can’t do a hotel then shorten the visits or reduce how often.

It’s unhealthy to work hard throughout the year and then spend your limited PTO in boomer hell rather than ever getting a break.

[Anonymous]

I love my elderly parents and I see them daily, but the tv? Is a thing.
Weather on the nines! News you need to know! Wheel. Of. Fortune! Dateline...! Baseball football hockey...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife visited her mother halfway across the country for a week every month. She was extremely hard of hearing and legally blind. She died at 95 in assisted living in the late spring of 2020 after they closed off the facility to visitors because of Covid.

She still misses her every day.

You’re a shrew, OP.

And your wife worshiped the ground that her mother walked on? Doubt it.