Anyone find being in their elderly parents’ home so painful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a heartless daughter. Feel sorry for your parents and grow up.

Sorry for them for what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a heartless daughter. Feel sorry for your parents and grow up.

Seriously. "So painful" - really, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

You sleep late when you’re hosting a houseguest like OP’s parents are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do find the volume on the TV to be a huge, huge challenge. I suffer from misophonia so loud sounds - not all - are really hard for me. I try to turn down the volume when they are not looking. I don't watch many screens, but when I do, I try to keep the volume down to train myself for this age.

Or you could get earplugs or Banz or whatever. They probably have age related hearing loss, which does not always necessitate hearing aids, which can be their own unique challenge. Why are you changing their environment to suit you instead of understanding it’s their environment and you should adapt for your short term stay?

I'm not the OP, so work on your reading comprehension if you want to go in blast mode.

I do try to turn it down because they want to talk with me while the TV is in some astronomically high volume range. I just went through this with ILs and found it hard to have critical conversations with them when the TV is dominating the air. MiL initiates these topics then keeps on saying "what, what."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do find the volume on the TV to be a huge, huge challenge. I suffer from misophonia so loud sounds - not all - are really hard for me. I try to turn down the volume when they are not looking. I don't watch many screens, but when I do, I try to keep the volume down to train myself for this age.

Or you could get earplugs or Banz or whatever. They probably have age related hearing loss, which does not always necessitate hearing aids, which can be their own unique challenge. Why are you changing their environment to suit you instead of understanding it’s their environment and you should adapt for your short term stay?

I'm not the OP, so work on your reading comprehension if you want to go in blast mode.

I do try to turn it down because they want to talk with me while the TV is in some astronomically high volume range. I just went through this with ILs and found it hard to have critical conversations with them when the TV is dominating the air. MiL initiates these topics then keeps on saying "what, what."

NP. Have them put on subtitles and leave the volume at a normal level. That’s what my parents do.

[Anonymous]

I feel you. I really dislike staying in my parents’ home. We have lots of off limits topics as my parents are very conservative politically and I’m more moderate. We mostly have surface level conversations.

My parents love to talk about my brother nonstop and seem to think I’m an idiot. My brother has a mid level service industry job, but somehow he hung the moon.

They listen to the tv so loud and leave the thermostat at 76 degrees - they live in Florida. It’s so hot and loud. I can only stay 4 days max. I’ve been staying at a hotel the last few years to get a break.

[Anonymous]

Team 8 AM is too early here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

Hi, Mom!

Yeah, it was really fun having to tiptoe around the house while you slept in. Fortunately, sis and me figured out how to turn on the TV with the volume really low and our faces a couple inches from the screen so we could watch cartoons. And we ate whatever crap we could reach, because we were starving.

- Kids wake up early, hungry.

[Anonymous]

8 am wouldn’t be a problem for me, but otherwise, yes, staying at my parents’ house is difficult for anything more than a few hours. My mom talks too loud and interrupts my attempts to inject my own thoughts. My dad is never on the same topic of conversation as anyone else. Both of them make really old-fashioned gendered assumptions around my teenagers (a boy and girl) which just makes everyone uncomfortable. (“Well, girls/boys don’t like that, therefore you must not either…”) I’m so terrified of the holidays coming up. So much anxiety over these visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you. I really dislike staying in my parents’ home. We have lots of off limits topics as my parents are very conservative politically and I’m more moderate. We mostly have surface level conversations.

My parents love to talk about my brother nonstop and seem to think I’m an idiot. My brother has a mid level service industry job, but somehow he hung the moon.

They listen to the tv so loud and leave the thermostat at 76 degrees - they live in Florida. It’s so hot and loud. I can only stay 4 days max. I’ve been staying at a hotel the last few years to get a break.

So get a hotel? Take them out for dinner. Find out of home activities to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not painful emotionally, like I feel bad for them. And yes, I am thankful they are still around, blah blah blah.

Painful, like they are SO LOUD first thing in the morning.

Father talking loudly on his phone to who knows at 8AM.

Mother starting to warm things up for lunch starting 8AM.

Them wanting to be around me but only having surface-level conversations.

Been here less than 24 hours and I am ready to go to my home.

Multiple reasons I can’t be an overnight guest in my parents house. And they’re not personal, they are physical issues (and a personal issue against adult sibling who will live there forever)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult, aren’t you? 8am is not 6 am. What time do you need to sleep in until? I’m hardly old but by 8 am I’ve had a long chat with my best friend, and done a good chunk of the housework for the day.

Suuurrreeee . . .

NP. I agree with PP. What are you doing with your life that you aren’t fully awake and functional by 8:00?

NP nothing good happens before 8am. I trained my kids from about 3 years old to be as quiet as a mouse in the morning. They color, play silently and then we party when parents wake up.

Besides, it's a Saturday morning. I get waking up for work or school, but why do adults need to wake up on Saturdays?!

Hi, Mom!

Yeah, it was really fun having to tiptoe around the house while you slept in. Fortunately, sis and me figured out how to turn on the TV with the volume really low and our faces a couple inches from the screen so we could watch cartoons. And we ate whatever crap we could reach, because we were starving.

- Kids wake up early, hungry.

Where was Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not painful emotionally, like I feel bad for them. And yes, I am thankful they are still around, blah blah blah.

Painful, like they are SO LOUD first thing in the morning.

Father talking loudly on his phone to who knows at 8AM.

Mother starting to warm things up for lunch starting 8AM.

Them wanting to be around me but only having surface-level conversations.

Been here less than 24 hours and I am ready to go to my home.

That’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not painful emotionally, like I feel bad for them. And yes, I am thankful they are still around, blah blah blah.

Painful, like they are SO LOUD first thing in the morning.

Father talking loudly on his phone to who knows at 8AM.

Mother starting to warm things up for lunch starting 8AM.

Them wanting to be around me but only having surface-level conversations.

Been here less than 24 hours and I am ready to go to my home.

Multiple reasons I can’t be an overnight guest in my parents house. And they’re not personal, they are physical issues (and a personal issue against adult sibling who will live there forever)

OP here and yes, this too. Mid-40 year old sibling lost job during pandemic, moved into parents’ home and now acts like she owns the place and that she is in charge of our parents and my relationship with them - and parents act like nothing is off about this. Just another reason for the surface-level conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not painful emotionally, like I feel bad for them. And yes, I am thankful they are still around, blah blah blah.

Painful, like they are SO LOUD first thing in the morning.

Father talking loudly on his phone to who knows at 8AM.

Mother starting to warm things up for lunch starting 8AM.

Them wanting to be around me but only having surface-level conversations.

Been here less than 24 hours and I am ready to go to my home.

That’s on you.

Actually it’s not but sure, whatever you say anon stranger.