How much money do you give your new college grad a month to get started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:zero. We pay for her housing and a meal plan. Anything extra is on her. She has no job, but has savings from her summer job. I expect her to start making these decisions on her own.

Your child’s job has “housing and meal plan”?

Wow where is that?

[Anonymous]

You guide them to live within their means and are the safety net in case of emergency. You don't provide them with a monthly stipend.

If you want to be generous, you can keep them on your car insurance and cell phone plan for a bit. My Dad did that for me and it was very nice for a few years to not have to worry about that. Maybe share the passwords to some streaming services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is moving out right now. We helped him buy a car and he has no loans so that makes things a bit easier. I said he could stay on the phone plan if he wants. We are giving him the furniture in his bed room. I'll probably pay for his trips home for a while? Hoping that is about it.

My mom always helped pay for plane tickets home when everyone was in their 20s and poor. She wanted them to visit and for it to not be a hardship! It's definitely a nice way to grease the "please come visit" wheel. As long as you're nice about it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD, who graduated last year, is currently not speaking to me because the Bank of Mom and Dad is not available to her. We told her that we paid for college, so she has no loans, we paid for a car, so she has no car payments, and we are still paying car insurance and health insurance. We were very clear that if she wanted to keep living in the city where she went to school, then she needed to fund her living expenses, but we did give her the remainder of her college funds (about $2500) so she would have a $500/month "cushion" for the first few months. DD was also not responsible regarding utilizing her college career office and said that she just wanted to waitress for awhile to "relax". Flash forward a year and DD has not made progress towards career goals because she is too busy scrambling with waitressing/pet-sitting and other minimum wage jobs trying to make rent. She simply cannot afford to live where she lives without making radical changes in her lifestyle (less going out, cheaper neighborhoods, get roommates). We have made it clear that she can move home and save money all she wants---our doors are always open. So far she has not wanted to do that and we are just going to leave her alone until she figures it out. It has really torn us up but like some of the PP above, I have seen the deleterious effects when parents over-subsidize their young adult kids.

This is your fault for allowing her to move to an expensive city for college in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD, who graduated last year, is currently not speaking to me because the Bank of Mom and Dad is not available to her. We told her that we paid for college, so she has no loans, we paid for a car, so she has no car payments, and we are still paying car insurance and health insurance. We were very clear that if she wanted to keep living in the city where she went to school, then she needed to fund her living expenses, but we did give her the remainder of her college funds (about $2500) so she would have a $500/month "cushion" for the first few months. DD was also not responsible regarding utilizing her college career office and said that she just wanted to waitress for awhile to "relax". Flash forward a year and DD has not made progress towards career goals because she is too busy scrambling with waitressing/pet-sitting and other minimum wage jobs trying to make rent. She simply cannot afford to live where she lives without making radical changes in her lifestyle (less going out, cheaper neighborhoods, get roommates). We have made it clear that she can move home and save money all she wants---our doors are always open. So far she has not wanted to do that and we are just going to leave her alone until she figures it out. It has really torn us up but like some of the PP above, I have seen the deleterious effects when parents over-subsidize their young adult kids.

This is your fault for allowing her to move to an expensive city for college in the first place.

How does one adult prevent another adult from moving somewhere they can't afford? Parents are supposed to allow their adult children to adult is the consensus here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college and then gave me zero after. My oldest is entering 9th grade, but I think that's my plan too.

+1
My parents did not believe in economic outpatient care and neither do I. This is an absolute essential to generational wealth building and continuity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college and then gave me zero after. My oldest is entering 9th grade, but I think that's my plan too.

+1
My parents did not believe in economic outpatient care and neither do I. This is an absolute essential to generational wealth building and continuity.

Forgot to mention my parents gave me a reliable car (toyota) in HS and they did co-sign my first apartment in college, so I didn't need them to when I got a job because I had a track record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

ZERO. NADA. ZIP.

My kids are adults. They pay their own way. If they can't afford NY or SF, then they can live at home for free.

Don't raise freeloading, dependent children. Cut the strings, OP. Don't give them a dime.

Oh, and I have the money, plenty of it. But I want my children to grow up into mature, responsible adults, so they aren't getting any of my money for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is moving out right now. We helped him buy a car and he has no loans so that makes things a bit easier. I said he could stay on the phone plan if he wants. We are giving him the furniture in his bed room. I'll probably pay for his trips home for a while? Hoping that is about it.

My mom always helped pay for plane tickets home when everyone was in their 20s and poor. She wanted them to visit and for it to not be a hardship! It's definitely a nice way to grease the "please come visit" wheel. As long as you're nice about it...

We pay half of all plane fare home. We paid all of it for a year post college, but now that our older children are making decent wages, we pay half. We want them to visit, and don't want it to be a hardship, but we don't think we should pay the full fare when they do have the money. Once they make more money, we'll drop the practice.

A big part of maturity is learning how to handle money responsibly. We buy our kids things that they ask for for holiday and birthday gifts, but nothing large like a car. They pay for their own car, or they don't drive.

[Anonymous]

They still have the cars we bought them in high school/that they used in college.

They have no student loans.

We did a Target run after they moved into apartments and footed the bill for those handful of basics.

We rented a UHaul and helped them move into their apartments.

But we're definitely not just giving them a set dollar amount per month. Never would have occurred to me. If they need more money, it is called budgeting and making adjustments to live within your means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is a senior so we have been thinking about this. She will not be making big bucks because of the field she has chosen. Our support will be in the form of letting her move home for a while until she can find a safe and affordable living situation. We hope she will use that time to save her income. We won’t pay rent if she moves out (though we will always be a safety net in an emergency like a layoff or serious illness). For graduation we will probably make a few thousand dollar down payment on a car for her. She will need a car to have a job as we have no public transportation option walkable from our home and if she rents she will probably have a very long commute. Otherwise, we will help with essential medical expenses.

In other words, YOU are still thinking through all her problems for her. She's a grown adult. Let her do this! Land the helicopter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask them to send me their budget and then work from there. This can be adjusted monthly or quarterly.
If you give too little, they may go in debt. If too much, they may get into habit of overspending.
If they bring in $3500 after taxes and rent is $2000, the rest is seems like perfect amount for living within means.

Wow! Someone didn't teach their kid fiscal responsibility! Too busy fighting for them to be in advance math to learn the basics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m planning on helping DC after graduation. They will likely live on one of the coasts and rent is high. Im thinking first last security some basic furniture and then 1k per month and ween them off as their income increases. I’ve already paid a guzzillion dollars to put them through 20 years private schools and college, why would I make them suffer now?? They just need like 3 years before their income rises to level of fully supporting themselves in a big city. I’m okay with that.

I put my kids in private education so they WOULD BE EDUCATED AND PREPARED!!!! My kids had a luxury life and they need to create that for their kids. They will get an inheritance amd money before we die, but the way to ensure longevity of generational wealth is to not provide economic oupatient care to capable adults. Show them you trust them to do this. You might be surprised by how smart and capable they are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly every situation is different. My kid goes to a private in an expensive city and some of his friends only have what they make/made in summer and some have unlimited use of their parent's credit card. In our case, he gets 1k/month in spending money. Half from me and half from exh.

You're answering a question that wasn't asked. OP's kid is not in school.

Oh yes, I misread.

To be fair, of course you did, it’s a stupid question.

Why are people asking how much money other people are sending to employed college graduate adults?

Zero. Live within your means. Don’t like it, work to get a better job.

+1
Great answer! You and your kids are probably wealthy or will be....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zero.

If they get cancer or need some emergency dental surgery or something, then yes I would help out.

But a perfectly healthy college grad with no student loans? Get a roommate and a subway card and a job that covers expenses.

Yep! This!

I grew up wealthy. Went to college, lived like a pauper, worked. Now I'm wealthy and plan to send my kids on the same path. I will inherit, but I'm nearly 50 and my parents haven't given me a dime since graduation.