How much money do you give your new college grad a month to get started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Can I be your kid? I can’t believe people actually do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Rent should be 30% of gross income. Calculate their shortfall and make up the difference. The rest - spending money, groceries, other living expenses can come from their income. They WILL learn to budget bc there is no way they will be living large on a first job salary, even if it is six figures in these cities. They will then bounce to a new job within 3 years, make more money, can cover the rent, and that’s when you stop supporting them.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely nothing. 

My DS graduated from UNC Chapel Hill in May '23 with a Computer Science degree and DS got a job working remotely for 135K/year.  He is currently living at home to save money and we're not going to provide him with any money.  He does not have to pay for rent, food, utilities, phone, etc... DH brought him a Tesla Model 3 as a graduation gift.  When he is ready to move out, he will get 500K from my FIL as a gilf (DH is the administrator of that account until he purchases a condo, home, or gets married).  He doesn't need any more money from us when he has a 135K salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

Why did your kid choose to work a low-paying job in a high rent city?

You mean like working on the hill?

Exactly, my DS would like a Hill job, and knows he'd probably have to live home for a while, but the expereince is worth it. We'll see, he's only a junior.

PSA mom… if he is blessed enough to get job on the hill, he will NOT live at home and you well obviously helping him with rent. Working on the hill is all about connections and they are not made from 9 to 5. They are made after hours and if your child is at home having dinner with mommy and daddy instead of colleagues he might as well Just not have a job on the hill.

NP but you don’t know what you’re talking about. Why can’t they live at home and just come home at 9pm after events/happy hour? Why would living at home imply dinner every night with mommy and daddy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. 

My DS graduated from UNC Chapel Hill in May '23 with a Computer Science degree and DS got a job working remotely for 135K/year.  He is currently living at home to save money and we're not going to provide him with any money.  He does not have to pay for rent, food, utilities, phone, etc... DH brought him a Tesla Model 3 as a graduation gift.  When he is ready to move out, he will get 500K from my FIL as a gilf (DH is the administrator of that account until he purchases a condo, home, or gets married).  He doesn't need any more money from us when he has a 135K salary.

well in fairness you already gave him something so it's not "absolutely nothing"... you bnought him an expensive car and are giving him half a million dollars LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

My aunt and uncle supported their kids after college. Son is 30 currently jobless and living at home but he’s going to tour the world for 6+ months with the money he “saved.”

My other aunt and uncle are covering my cousin’s (22 just graduated) expensive apartment in NYC while she ‘works’. She also has a credit card with a limit, but I guess she constantly overspends. I told them their daughter won’t learn how to budget or live on her own two feet unless they cut the cord. She will know they will always bail her out.

I got 0 (my family has $ they just believe in hard work and independence) when I graduated and lived with roommates, worked my tail off and now own a beautiful home in a desirable area, have a wonderful family and great job. I travel, and understand and have empathy for others and what things cost because I paid my own way.

My sister moved abroad after college but did it on her own for years. My mom was so worried she offered to pay for her to move back, but she said no and made her own way. A few years later she moved home got a great job and owns a condo she paid for herself in a HCOL area other than DC.

I know some parents who may help with the deposit or continue to pay for the cell after they graduate (I always had to pay for my cell phone, car, insurance, gas, etc), but everyone I know who got some kind of stipend from their parents had issues in life.

Either the parents can’t stop, want control over where they live, what they do, or they don’t launch because they didn’t have to struggle. Or they assume things should be handed to them. It’s never a good look. Struggle is important, budgeting is important. Standing on our own is important.

[Anonymous]

Part of rent. Meal service. Travel cost to visit us. Cleaning service. Car. Office clothes. Tech. They are on our medical insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid my deposit and one month's rent (which had to be paid with the deposit) for my first apartment (which was a room in a group house - nothing fancy). That was a huge help but then nothing else.

That’s considered one of the biggest barriers for homeless people to find homes. Often it’s 1st mth, last mth, deposit and in NYC a fee

Umm…what fee? There is not some mandatory fee in nyc (New Yorker here) and there are plenty of no broker buildings that are run by reputable management companies (Google “two trees buildings”), but you do need to pay federal, state, and *city* taxes on what you earn…which is a lot of $$ coming out in an already high cost of living area.

When Iived in Boston, it was hard to find a no fee apartment. And even without a few, some apartments ask for first and last month's rent up front plus a one month deposit.

That's typical Boston. Just check out any college parents FB page and you will realize renting in Boston is expensive, fees are high and everyone charges it, so you have no options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

I have a newly graduated kid who started with $10k bonus and $120k salary after a bachelor's degree this July, so we give zero. No debts as the school was funded with scholarships. In your situation, I would not substitute at all if you want the child to move on in their carrier. Once you make their life comfortable for them, there will be no incentive for them to look for better jobs or to move to a more affordable place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. 

My DS graduated from UNC Chapel Hill in May '23 with a Computer Science degree and DS got a job working remotely for 135K/year.  He is currently living at home to save money and we're not going to provide him with any money.  He does not have to pay for rent, food, utilities, phone, etc... DH brought him a Tesla Model 3 as a graduation gift.  When he is ready to move out, he will get 500K from my FIL as a gilf (DH is the administrator of that account until he purchases a condo, home, or gets married).  He doesn't need any more money from us when he has a 135K salary.

well in fairness you already gave him something so it's not "absolutely nothing"... you bnought him an expensive car and are giving him half a million dollars LOL

Just a small gift of half a million NBD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of rent. Meal service. Travel cost to visit us. Cleaning service. Car. Office clothes. Tech. They are on our medical insurance.

Another one still sending breast milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. 

My DS graduated from UNC Chapel Hill in May '23 with a Computer Science degree and DS got a job working remotely for 135K/year.  He is currently living at home to save money and we're not going to provide him with any money.  He does not have to pay for rent, food, utilities, phone, etc... DH brought him a Tesla Model 3 as a graduation gift.  When he is ready to move out, he will get 500K from my FIL as a gilf (DH is the administrator of that account until he purchases a condo, home, or gets married).  He doesn't need any more money from us when he has a 135K salary.

LOL. This wins ironic post of the year award.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the people on here saying to the parents who are no longer giving money that they should die alone and you won’t help them at all when they are older etc. I presume your parents raised you; paid for you until you were 22, drove you everywhere, fed you, etc for decades. Now that they think you should be independent you suddenly hate them and are cutting them off? Wow! So glad I have great kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zero.

this. And if the city is too expensive to live in they should move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero.

this. And if the city is too expensive to live in they should move.

+1 if your kid can't survive on their own after graduating, then they need to either move in with the parents or find a way cheaper place to live - either move or get roommates.

Otherwise, if your kid wants/needs money after graduating and live on their own, then you all did college wrong.