How much money do you give your new college grad a month to get started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m planning on helping DC after graduation. They will likely live on one of the coasts and rent is high. Im thinking first last security some basic furniture and then 1k per month and ween them off as their income increases. I’ve already paid a guzzillion dollars to put them through 20 years private schools and college, why would I make them suffer now?? They just need like 3 years before their income rises to level of fully supporting themselves in a big city. I’m okay with that.

How do you send your expressed milk to them? I'm having a hard time finding the most reliable option. Cost is not a consideration.

TIA

You're a grown woman. Why are you shipping milk? Move.

[Anonymous]

$0 monthly but we did give DC $10k to be able to pay security deposit, broker fee and to buy (ikea) furniture for the first apartment. Expensive city.

[Anonymous]

What HHI OP? Context matters. I know several 1% families who are funding 5K a month apartments in NYC for their DC’s. The PPs who have said Oh Hell No don’t have the same means, clearly. So anywhere from 0-5000 per month is the market range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What HHI OP? Context matters. I know several 1% families who are funding 5K a month apartments in NYC for their DC’s. The PPs who have said Oh Hell No don’t have the same means, clearly. So anywhere from 0-5000 per month is the market range.

Not necessarily. They may just want their kids to learn how to function independently. My stepmother chose the subsidize-the-kids approach and one kid is 53 and never had a job more than 2 years and the other is a yogi. Stepmother bought both their houses and has covered all their kids educations. Neither could be bothered to do much for her when she was 80 and hospitalized. They only knew how to take not give. Cautionary tale.

[Anonymous]

Plan is DD gets a used car at college graduation and no loans to pay back. The rest is on her. I may help out with work clothing and possibly apartment basics, but the expectation is that she lives on her income. I would hope she would have some savings from summer jobs but many don't pay much and she will need some for college "beer and pizza" money.

[Anonymous]

DD, who graduated last year, is currently not speaking to me because the Bank of Mom and Dad is not available to her. We told her that we paid for college, so she has no loans, we paid for a car, so she has no car payments, and we are still paying car insurance and health insurance. We were very clear that if she wanted to keep living in the city where she went to school, then she needed to fund her living expenses, but we did give her the remainder of her college funds (about $2500) so she would have a $500/month "cushion" for the first few months. DD was also not responsible regarding utilizing her college career office and said that she just wanted to waitress for awhile to "relax". Flash forward a year and DD has not made progress towards career goals because she is too busy scrambling with waitressing/pet-sitting and other minimum wage jobs trying to make rent. She simply cannot afford to live where she lives without making radical changes in her lifestyle (less going out, cheaper neighborhoods, get roommates). We have made it clear that she can move home and save money all she wants---our doors are always open. So far she has not wanted to do that and we are just going to leave her alone until she figures it out. It has really torn us up but like some of the PP above, I have seen the deleterious effects when parents over-subsidize their young adult kids.

[Anonymous]

We’re about 9 months from this and I hope we’ll be offering as close to zero as possible even though our HHI could afford to subsidize forever. When I was 23 I lived in “the “hood” and didn’t buy orange juice because I couldn’t afford it. I loved my life and was absolutely fine and my kid will be too.

[Anonymous]

$300 in the sense that that’s the difference between the PITI on the townhome I just bought for them and the rent I’m charging them. Although you could argue it’s actually $800 since that’s the prevailing rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD, who graduated last year, is currently not speaking to me because the Bank of Mom and Dad is not available to her. We told her that we paid for college, so she has no loans, we paid for a car, so she has no car payments, and we are still paying car insurance and health insurance. We were very clear that if she wanted to keep living in the city where she went to school, then she needed to fund her living expenses, but we did give her the remainder of her college funds (about $2500) so she would have a $500/month "cushion" for the first few months. DD was also not responsible regarding utilizing her college career office and said that she just wanted to waitress for awhile to "relax". Flash forward a year and DD has not made progress towards career goals because she is too busy scrambling with waitressing/pet-sitting and other minimum wage jobs trying to make rent. She simply cannot afford to live where she lives without making radical changes in her lifestyle (less going out, cheaper neighborhoods, get roommates). We have made it clear that she can move home and save money all she wants---our doors are always open. So far she has not wanted to do that and we are just going to leave her alone until she figures it out. It has really torn us up but like some of the PP above, I have seen the deleterious effects when parents over-subsidize their young adult kids.

Good thoughts to you. Another zero here for all same reasons.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are so lucky.

[Anonymous]

What about paying for phone plans and car insurance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m planning on helping DC after graduation. They will likely live on one of the coasts and rent is high. Im thinking first last security some basic furniture and then 1k per month and ween them off as their income increases. I’ve already paid a guzzillion dollars to put them through 20 years private schools and college, why would I make them suffer now?? They just need like 3 years before their income rises to level of fully supporting themselves in a big city. I’m okay with that.

And by “suffer” you mean live within the means they created for themselves?

[Anonymous]

DS is moving out right now. We helped him buy a car and he has no loans so that makes things a bit easier. I said he could stay on the phone plan if he wants. We are giving him the furniture in his bed room. I'll probably pay for his trips home for a while? Hoping that is about it.

[Anonymous]

zero. We pay for her housing and a meal plan. Anything extra is on her. She has no job, but has savings from her summer job. I expect her to start making these decisions on her own.

[Anonymous]

We gave them the 1st and last months rent and the fee. NYC

We will give them gifts like “tickets to a show”, “tickets to a sports event”, etc monthly

We gave them food money for 6 months, paid their phone.

Their car is at our house we pay the insurance.

They are on our health insurance.