How much money do you give your new college grad a month to get started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What HHI OP? Context matters. I know several 1% families who are funding 5K a month apartments in NYC for their DC’s. The PPs who have said Oh Hell No don’t have the same means, clearly. So anywhere from 0-5000 per month is the market range.

Ah, no....
We value the experience of life's lesson here! When the grandkids come we will help fund the things that are important to us, like education. If they need help to get to a safe neighborhood then maybe that. Funding expensive lifestyle in an expensive city is simply not one of my core values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

ZERO. NADA. ZIP.

My kids are adults. They pay their own way. If they can't afford NY or SF, then they can live at home for free.

Don't raise freeloading, dependent children. Cut the strings, OP. Don't give them a dime.

Oh, and I have the money, plenty of it. But I want my children to grow up into mature, responsible adults, so they aren't getting any of my money for a very long time.

Hi Mom and Dad! I didn't expect you on this forum. We're all doing fine.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't pay for my college nor grad school nor gave me any allowance nor any money after graduating. I did it all, which looking back on is a bit harsh.

We plan on waiting to see how it all pans out with our oldest to decide whether or not we provide any extra above buying her some furniture and other household stuff to get her started. But I would be concerned that she couldn't manage on her own salary if she has a cushion, because that's the kind of kid she is. My other kid is more self-motivated and already is money conscious. But I don't want to set up my oldest to fail by enabling her too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask them to send me their budget and then work from there. This can be adjusted monthly or quarterly.
If you give too little, they may go in debt. If too much, they may get into habit of overspending.
If they bring in $3500 after taxes and rent is $2000, the rest is seems like perfect amount for living within means.

Wow! Someone didn't teach their kid fiscal responsibility! Too busy fighting for them to be in advance math to learn the basics?

Not every kid needs to be taught and not every kid needs guidance. Some can figure it out on their own. He is in advanced math, but not because he is smart, the others are stupid. DC will have a shock in college if he gets in. Then again no, college in US is a joke.
All I did was I put him on my CC (lowered the max just in case) to help him build credit in high school and he has spent $16 a month. I didn't teach him to be cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly every situation is different. My kid goes to a private in an expensive city and some of his friends only have what they make/made in summer and some have unlimited use of their parent's credit card. In our case, he gets 1k/month in spending money. Half from me and half from exh.

You're answering a question that wasn't asked. OP's kid is not in school.

Oh yes, I misread.

To be fair, of course you did, it’s a stupid question.

Why are people asking how much money other people are sending to employed college graduate adults?

Zero. Live within your means. Don’t like it, work to get a better job.

Well my kid needed to do a few things in their 30’s to get that great job… teach for America, work on the hill, graduate school at an Ivy-> great job.

So yes I helped.

[Anonymous]

20’s*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD, who graduated last year, is currently not speaking to me because the Bank of Mom and Dad is not available to her. We told her that we paid for college, so she has no loans, we paid for a car, so she has no car payments, and we are still paying car insurance and health insurance. We were very clear that if she wanted to keep living in the city where she went to school, then she needed to fund her living expenses, but we did give her the remainder of her college funds (about $2500) so she would have a $500/month "cushion" for the first few months. DD was also not responsible regarding utilizing her college career office and said that she just wanted to waitress for awhile to "relax". Flash forward a year and DD has not made progress towards career goals because she is too busy scrambling with waitressing/pet-sitting and other minimum wage jobs trying to make rent. She simply cannot afford to live where she lives without making radical changes in her lifestyle (less going out, cheaper neighborhoods, get roommates). We have made it clear that she can move home and save money all she wants---our doors are always open. So far she has not wanted to do that and we are just going to leave her alone until she figures it out. It has really torn us up but like some of the PP above, I have seen the deleterious effects when parents over-subsidize their young adult kids.

I think you're doing the right thing. As others have said, once you take on the role of Bank for their adult life it's very hard to stop without a lot of fallout.

It would (for me at least) be different if she came to you with a specific plan like "Here are the changes I'm making to my lifestyle to curb my spending and here are the specific efforts I'm making to work with my old career services office/intern/job fairs/whatever. It's hard for me to be available for interviews, etc. with my inconsistent waitressing hours. but I cannot afford to cut back on those hours because this is a high COL area. I've cut my spending, but if you and other parent could loan me 500/month for the next 3-6 months it would help me get off the hamster wheel and secure a high paying job. If I can't get something by the end of 6 months then I'll make plans to move home, to a lower COL area, or take on another roommate to save money and be able to pay for my life without your regular financial support."

It's about seeing her taking responsibility for for her life. She's allowed to ask for help, in fact it's good and healthy to do that, but she needs to do the leg work to make a plan and put in the work on her side of things too.

[Anonymous]

Our two oldest lived at home for the first 6 months to year after graduation. Saved the money from that year to be their cushion. The one who stayed longer makes less money. I liked having them around. They liked securing a little financial foothold.

[Anonymous]

What? Helping them get established vs. subsidizing their lifestyle are very different things. They should be able to manage a budget and determine if they can afford a high-cost-of-living city before making that move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask them to send me their budget and then work from there. This can be adjusted monthly or quarterly.
If you give too little, they may go in debt. If too much, they may get into habit of overspending.
If they bring in $3500 after taxes and rent is $2000, the rest is seems like perfect amount for living within means.

Wow! Someone didn't teach their kid fiscal responsibility! Too busy fighting for them to be in advance math to learn the basics?

Not every kid needs to be taught and not every kid needs guidance. Some can figure it out on their own. He is in advanced math, but not because he is smart, the others are stupid. DC will have a shock in college if he gets in. Then again no, college in US is a joke.
All I did was I put him on my CC (lowered the max just in case) to help him build credit in high school and he has spent $16 a month. I didn't teach him to be cheap.

Every kids needs to be taught on some fundamental level. Some just learn it quicker than others. We taught our kids by giving an allowance and not buying certain things they should buy themselves. We set up bank accounts in elementary school. We got them investing in MS. We gave them budgets to be responsible for all their clothing, school supplies, and entertainment. I consider these things basics.

[Anonymous]

I let her live with me, and paid for her essentials, until she got into grad school.

She worked part time that year, and saved that money or spent it on incidentals.

Now she has to support herself.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid my deposit and one month's rent (which had to be paid with the deposit) for my first apartment (which was a room in a group house - nothing fancy). That was a huge help but then nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid my deposit and one month's rent (which had to be paid with the deposit) for my first apartment (which was a room in a group house - nothing fancy). That was a huge help but then nothing else.

That’s considered one of the biggest barriers for homeless people to find homes. Often it’s 1st mth, last mth, deposit and in NYC a fee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming no college loans to pay and kid is working a low-paying/entry level job in a high rent city like New York or San Francisco, how much do you cover financially? Rent, extras? Thinking ahead and would like to plan.

ZERO. NADA. ZIP.

My kids are adults. They pay their own way. If they can't afford NY or SF, then they can live at home for free.

Don't raise freeloading, dependent children. Cut the strings, OP. Don't give them a dime.

Oh, and I have the money, plenty of it. But I want my children to grow up into mature, responsible adults, so they aren't getting any of my money for a very long time.

Hi Mom and Dad! I didn't expect you on this forum. We're all doing fine.

I should hope so, you're a grown ass adult

[Anonymous]

$0