My niece just screwed herself

[Anonymous]

Make sure you blame your niece’s spouse equally.

[Anonymous]

Do we think the niece was indifferent to whether her aunt gave her a wedding present or what it was?

[Anonymous]

I must be in the minority here but 1k is a lot of money and a thank you should have been given. If she has the time to cash the check then she has the time to send a text or phone call saying thank you. With that being said, I would reach out to my sibling and let them know so that they can give a reminder to thank you.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed, too. How hard is it to say thank you when someone gives you $1000?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Screwed herself out of what, exactly? The wedding was the only big gift nieces can hope to get. It’s not like you were going to put $10k in her kids’ 529s next.

So many people are saying things like I am unhinged. I am not. I still love her and always will, just she screwed herself out of my future generosity.

You are not generous. You are gift giving with the expectation of something in return. You also sound very old and frankly norms around thank you notes have changed.

DP Excuse me, $1000 is not generous??? You sound very ageist and kind of clueless if you think saying thank you to people who give you things is no longer appropriate for some reason. What's the reason, is it because being ungrateful and unappreciative is the way people want to be now? I have to assume those of you who think this is no big deal are also teaching your kids they don't have to write a thank you note of even give someone a call and say thanks when receiving gifts. Just know that some of us see that as selfish and pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not enough to by a house, but I thought it was generous. I gave them $1000.

That is generous but gift giving is not about the expectation of a thank you or reciprocation. With your attitude, if you were my aunt and thought this way, I would want you to write me off.

[Anonymous]

These insane aunties are the exact reason I made sure we did our thank yous the week after the wedding!!!!

Not even joking!! Yall Crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is rude but I wouldn't stop giving gifts over it. I'm just not one who gets overly bothered about these types of things.

Same. I gave my best friend's son $300 when he graduated college. I didn't get a thank you, so I called him up and said, "Hey nephew, i think my thank you card must have got lost in the mail." there was dead silence, and then I busted out laughing. He apologized, we laughed, and I teased him about it. I wasn't angry at him. I agree with the poster who said you sound unhinged.

I love how you handled this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be in the minority here but 1k is a lot of money and a thank you should have been given. If she has the time to cash the check then she has the time to send a text or phone call saying thank you. With that being said, I would reach out to my sibling and let them know so that they can give a reminder to thank you.

No one here is saying niece and her spouse weren’t wrong in failing to send a thank you. But it’s not worth ending a relationship over. It’s also not worth resorting to gossip and stewing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These insane aunties are the exact reason I made sure we did our thank yous the week after the wedding!!!!

Not even joking!! Yall Crazy!

And somehow you survived spending a couple of hours thinking about someone besides yourself!

Crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not enough to by a house, but I thought it was generous. I gave them $1000.

That is generous but gift giving is not about the expectation of a thank you or reciprocation. With your attitude, if you were my aunt and thought this way, I would want you to write me off.

LOL the same way a wedding invitation is given without expectation of a gift. You all are making excuses for this rude ass niece and nephew.

[Anonymous]

First The check wasn’t “cashed” it probably was deposited. And Two days after the wedding - she was on her honeymoon!?I bet she had someone deposit ALL of them at once, so sadly, she may not even know that you gave it.

I made my kids send thank you notes when they were really young. As they get older, they verbally told people thank you and sent text. I’m sure if you sent my 20yo son something today he would not say thank you or think send a thank you note, especially if he did not have your phone number and he wouldn’t even know where to buy a thank you card.

So, maybe you are better off not giving your niece anything else. Just know that if it was deposited, it was likely spent. It probably came in handy. And if it helps you not to give her anything else, then do what gives your heart peace. But if she didn’t even realize you gave her the first gift, she probably isn’t expecting anything (else) from you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.

I did something similar. I found about half of mine in my memory box 15 years after the wedding. I guess I'm luck that none of my relatives held a grudge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First The check wasn’t “cashed” it probably was deposited. And Two days after the wedding - she was on her honeymoon!?I bet she had someone deposit ALL of them at once, so sadly, she may not even know that you gave it.

I made my kids send thank you notes when they were really young. As they get older, they verbally told people thank you and sent text. I’m sure if you sent my 20yo son something today he would not say thank you or think send a thank you note, especially if he did not have your phone number and he wouldn’t even know where to buy a thank you card.

So, maybe you are better off not giving your niece anything else. Just know that if it was deposited, it was likely spent. It probably came in handy. And if it helps you not to give her anything else, then do what gives your heart peace. But if she didn’t even realize you gave her the first gift, she probably isn’t expecting anything (else) from you anyway.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First The check wasn’t “cashed” it probably was deposited. And Two days after the wedding - she was on her honeymoon!?I bet she had someone deposit ALL of them at once, so sadly, she may not even know that you gave it.

I made my kids send thank you notes when they were really young. As they get older, they verbally told people thank you and sent text. I’m sure if you sent my 20yo son something today he would not say thank you or think send a thank you note, especially if he did not have your phone number and he wouldn’t even know where to buy a thank you card.

So, maybe you are better off not giving your niece anything else. Just know that if it was deposited, it was likely spent. It probably came in handy. And if it helps you not to give her anything else, then do what gives your heart peace. But if she didn’t even realize you gave her the first gift, she probably isn’t expecting anything (else) from you anyway.

Two days after the wedding she was on her honeymoon? Now who's living in the in 1950s!