My niece just screwed herself

[Anonymous]

I get it that it’s disappointing. I sent my nephew and his wife a generous wedding gift a few years ago after not even being invited to the wedding because it was very small. We never received a thank you but I know they received it because it was cashed. Fast forward to 2020 and I sent a baby gift. Zero acknowledgement. I decided I was done but then baby 2 came along recently and I broke down and gave a gift. I know there will be no thank you. It sucks to not only not get a note but not even get a quick text or phone call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She couldn't bother to send a thank you note for her wedding. I am done.

Is the new couple high income? Do they ask for money?

They might not be screwed.

[Anonymous]

Young people don't want gifts. Send your money to a foot bank or downsize your empty nest house.

[Anonymous]

Or a food bank. Whichever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not enough to by a house, but I thought it was generous. I gave them $1000.

That is generous but gift giving is not about the expectation of a thank you or reciprocation. With your attitude, if you were my aunt and thought this way, I would want you to write me off.

They definitely should have sent a thank you or called in a thank you, but your petty attitude is even worse. Agree with the above PP, if you were my aunt and felt this way, I’d want you to write me off too. Maybe the thank you note got lost. Where is your grace towards your niece?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.

Are people really hurt over something like this?

Clearly OP is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First The check wasn’t “cashed” it probably was deposited. And Two days after the wedding - she was on her honeymoon!?I bet she had someone deposit ALL of them at once, so sadly, she may not even know that you gave it.

I made my kids send thank you notes when they were really young. As they get older, they verbally told people thank you and sent text. I’m sure if you sent my 20yo son something today he would not say thank you or think send a thank you note, especially if he did not have your phone number and he wouldn’t even know where to buy a thank you card.

So, maybe you are better off not giving your niece anything else. Just know that if it was deposited, it was likely spent. It probably came in handy. And if it helps you not to give her anything else, then do what gives your heart peace. But if she didn’t even realize you gave her the first gift, she probably isn’t expecting anything (else) from you anyway.

How does a check get deposited without signing it? And do you think the neice didn’t bother reading her wedding cards but just handed them over to someone and said here’s my bank info, sign these for me?

[Anonymous]

Stop sending gifts to adults. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed, too. How hard is it to say thank you when someone gives you $1000?!?!?

I don't understand why people can't say thank you. A text isn't hard. Especially for a large gift. My teen nieces thank me for their birthday money they get every year. I think it's nice and my kids do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it that it’s disappointing. I sent my nephew and his wife a generous wedding gift a few years ago after not even being invited to the wedding because it was very small. We never received a thank you but I know they received it because it was cashed. Fast forward to 2020 and I sent a baby gift. Zero acknowledgement. I decided I was done but then baby 2 came along recently and I broke down and gave a gift. I know there will be no thank you. It sucks to not only not get a note but not even get a quick text or phone call.

I am the OP and this probably what will happen. I'm just a little disappointed right now that it wasn't acknowledged when I thought it was something they would appreciate. I get it, young people don't feel it is necessary. I love her no matter what and the lack of a thank you isn't going to change that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s the groom’s responsibility to write the thank you notes.

Also, you sound hateful and as another PP said, I’d want my aunt to write me off too if I knew she was talking about me the way you are talking about your niece.

[Anonymous]

At least 6 of my wedding invitations were lost in the mail! OP, I know you don’t want to say anything, but I hope you give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe see if she sends a thank you for a next gift.

[Anonymous]

Just so all of you know, it would also be acceptable and welcome if someone actually just called the gift giver and said Hey, thanks for the gift! You could even just leave a voice message.

If you can't do that then you ought to tell people who are coming to your wedding or birthday NO GIFTS. That's you being thoughtful. Let people know ahead of time that you don't appreciate their efforts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just so all of you know, it would also be acceptable and welcome if someone actually just called the gift giver and said Hey, thanks for the gift! You could even just leave a voice message.

If you can't do that then you ought to tell people who are coming to your wedding or birthday NO GIFTS. That's you being thoughtful. Let people know ahead of time that you don't appreciate their efforts.

Totally agree.

If you can't take 5 seconds to text "thank you" when someone gives you $1,000, you need to own your selfishness.

[Anonymous]

OP: You sound like a jerk.