It is so much easier to be a good parent when not working

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

[Anonymous]

The very happiest time of my life was my extended maternity leave with my 2nd child, and the most depressed I've ever been was returning to work and realizing I would have to juggle work and parenting for the rest of their childhood. Everyone's different, but it's always been incredibly hard for me. Ultimately we need my income (not in a DCUM way, in an actual way), so I keep working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

Lol I was just about to say the same thing

[Anonymous]

We are not rich (DH is an attorney, but not the fancy biglaw kind) but don't need my income to support a nice middle class life. So I don't work. Its definitely easier on the adults this way. I'm honestly not sure if it made a huge difference to the kids or not, but the parents are more relaxed. A lot of the 2 working spouse families around us are not buying beach houses and taking fancy multi week vacations abroad and we are not doing those things. I'm okay with that. Each family has to decide for themselves. My kids are teens now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

No. Educated in a country where education is not crappy! LOL!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

No. Educated in a country where education is not crappy! LOL!!

Interesting. Well, in the United States, referring to oneself as "well to do" makes one sound either really old, really snobby, or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get a trophy for having it the hardest?

I am happy being a wealthy sahm of grown kids.

Well, after 21 years of raising kids, one becomes entitled to a comfy retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

No. Educated in a country where education is not crappy! LOL!!

Interesting. Well, in the United States, referring to oneself as "well to do" makes one sound either really old, really snobby, or both.

+1.
A non crappy education I would have thought would afford you this insight. I was also educated abroad and know better than to use this term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

If she were 60, would that make her point less relevant?

[Anonymous]

These threads are so predictable. Yawn. Brief productive conversation taken over by defensive, wealthy, entitled SAH housewives of grown children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not for me. I’m great on weeknights but shit on weekends. I am definitely not cut out for full time parenting.

So you are saying you aren’t really qualified to raise your own children properly.

Nobody would call CPS on me. But I'm not good at mothering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so predictable. Yawn. Brief productive conversation taken over by defensive, wealthy, entitled SAH housewives of grown children.

... or ones who resent them. Both need to respect other's choice. SAHP choice can blow up in your face so its a sacrifice to take that gamble. Kids need mothers so leaving them to bring bread for them is another type of sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

OP how old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No career is more important than my family and kids.

Being a well to do, well educated sahm, with a lot of family support and hired help is what worked for me. I don't want to balance anything at all- because it is never balanced really.

I just wanted to maximize being the best parent that I could be for my kids and give them any leg-up I could.
I am a valuable resource for my entire family and I take good care of me. It is stupid to be a martyr and it certainly does not serve your family and kids.

“Well to do”? Are you 60?

If she were 60, would that make her point less relevant?

Yes, in my opinion. The professions that were allowing women to excel/lead 30 years ago when a 60 year old would have been in her working prime were much fewer than now. My daughter gets opportunities through my job that were
simply not available to moms with toddlers in my field in 1993, and rather than work a job that didn’t offer other benefits to their children plenty of women would have stayed home. Tammy Duckworth and Jacinda Ardern weren’t taking their children to the US Senate Floor or the UN when she was choosing to SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not for me. I’m great on weeknights but shit on weekends. I am definitely not cut out for full time parenting.

So you are saying you aren’t really qualified to raise your own children properly.

Nobody would call CPS on me. But I'm not good at mothering.

I really don't get this. I understand when people
have to work to keep food on the table, or it provides their kids a better quality of life, but I legitimately do. It understand why people have kids (especially multiple kids) who are self described bad at being a parent. I pray your partner doesn't say the same. Or that your nanny never quits on you. Your poor kid.