It is so much easier to be a good parent when not working

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a class divide. sahms in DMV are rich, educated and outsource the chores. wohms need their paychecks.

My family doesn't NEED my paycheck, but I earn $200k base plus bonus. Why would I turn that down? I like all the extras that my salary provides my family - no money worries, 2-3 vacations a year, private school, more money in retirement, nicer house, etc.

At the crux of the issue is what is a need. As stated above the PP likes all the extras the additional income provides. I'm a SAHM because we have opted to run our cars into the ground, limit our vacations, postpone major home renovations, etc so that I can stay home with our children. In our case- the need to be with my children took priority over the other items. Every family needs to choose what works for them. As an aside- it irritates me when people say " you are so lucky you can stay home." Luck has nothing to do with it. We make sacrifices to make it work.

You are breaking your own rule about “need”. You did not “need” to stay home. You did not “need” to quit your job to have as much quality time with your children as you do now. You could have chosen a better job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not worrying about a paycheck/single income.
You haven't been the default parent 24/7 long enough to feel burnt out.
You're still in the honeymoon phase.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not worrying about a paycheck/single income.
You haven't been the default parent 24/7 long enough to feel burnt out.
You're still in the honeymoon phase.

This second one is huge. When I went back to work part-time, there was massive relief in just being able to get away from my kids and from household obligations. When you do it for years, it can feel crushing after a while. Sure, it's great when your kids have these charming little moments of connection or when you really get to see them for the person they are at this moment in time -- that's why I stayed home for the years I did. But you also get all their annoying, demanding, flawed behavior, and you get it over and over and over all day every day. And not only are those behaviors irritating at times, they are also your responsibility to address. So if your kid is getting whiny, or never cleans up, or has become a picky eater, not only will you get very tired of dealing with those behaviors, you also will feel the frustration of failure when your kid keeps doing it, because it means that you haven't adequately addressed the behavior or taught them something better.

It is sometimes easier to be a "good parent" when someone else is working on those issues with your kids all day, and you get to come home and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Omg. FACTS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not worrying about a paycheck/single income.
You haven't been the default parent 24/7 long enough to feel burnt out.
You're still in the honeymoon phase.

This second one is huge. When I went back to work part-time, there was massive relief in just being able to get away from my kids and from household obligations. When you do it for years, it can feel crushing after a while. Sure, it's great when your kids have these charming little moments of connection or when you really get to see them for the person they are at this moment in time -- that's why I stayed home for the years I did. But you also get all their annoying, demanding, flawed behavior, and you get it over and over and over all day every day. And not only are those behaviors irritating at times, they are also your responsibility to address. So if your kid is getting whiny, or never cleans up, or has become a picky eater, not only will you get very tired of dealing with those behaviors, you also will feel the frustration of failure when your kid keeps doing it, because it means that you haven't adequately addressed the behavior or taught them something better.

It is sometimes easier to be a "good parent" when someone else is working on those issues with your kids all day, and you get to come home and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Omg. FACTS.

Woah. That is unspeakably sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not worrying about a paycheck/single income.
You haven't been the default parent 24/7 long enough to feel burnt out.
You're still in the honeymoon phase.

This second one is huge. When I went back to work part-time, there was massive relief in just being able to get away from my kids and from household obligations. When you do it for years, it can feel crushing after a while. Sure, it's great when your kids have these charming little moments of connection or when you really get to see them for the person they are at this moment in time -- that's why I stayed home for the years I did. But you also get all their annoying, demanding, flawed behavior, and you get it over and over and over all day every day. And not only are those behaviors irritating at times, they are also your responsibility to address. So if your kid is getting whiny, or never cleans up, or has become a picky eater, not only will you get very tired of dealing with those behaviors, you also will feel the frustration of failure when your kid keeps doing it, because it means that you haven't adequately addressed the behavior or taught them something better.

It is sometimes easier to be a "good parent" when someone else is working on those issues with your kids all day, and you get to come home and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Omg. FACTS.

Woah. That is unspeakably sad.

It’s really not unspeakably sad.
It’s much less sad than people who devote their entire humanity to the care of children, judging anyone who has anything else happening in their lives outside of motherhood, and who then - once their kids leave home - find they are completely devoid of all identity bc they never allowed themselves to feel actual human emotions relating to their own personhood/ human needs, wants and emotions around parenting - and explore who they are outside of that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not worrying about a paycheck/single income.
You haven't been the default parent 24/7 long enough to feel burnt out.
You're still in the honeymoon phase.

This second one is huge. When I went back to work part-time, there was massive relief in just being able to get away from my kids and from household obligations. When you do it for years, it can feel crushing after a while. Sure, it's great when your kids have these charming little moments of connection or when you really get to see them for the person they are at this moment in time -- that's why I stayed home for the years I did. But you also get all their annoying, demanding, flawed behavior, and you get it over and over and over all day every day. And not only are those behaviors irritating at times, they are also your responsibility to address. So if your kid is getting whiny, or never cleans up, or has become a picky eater, not only will you get very tired of dealing with those behaviors, you also will feel the frustration of failure when your kid keeps doing it, because it means that you haven't adequately addressed the behavior or taught them something better.

It is sometimes easier to be a "good parent" when someone else is working on those issues with your kids all day, and you get to come home and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Omg. FACTS.

Woah. That is unspeakably sad.

It’s really not unspeakably sad.
It’s much less sad than people who devote their entire humanity to the care of children, judging anyone who has anything else happening in their lives outside of motherhood, and who then - once their kids leave home - find they are completely devoid of all identity bc they never allowed themselves to feel actual human emotions relating to their own personhood/ human needs, wants and emotions around parenting - and explore who they are outside of that

You are saying that you don't want to invest in your children. You don't want to have an hand in their value system. You don't even really want to know them. You just want a plaything. Also your SAHM tropes are tired.