Hot take: it’s no longer appropriate to just call someone

[Anonymous]

Remember when the phone on the wall would ring and you would answer it? Could be for you or for anyone else in the house.

Getting an unexpected phone call is no big deal to me. But I'm not a big texter. Today I was looking through texts for something and found one from a friend from last Thurs. Oops. If I don't immediately see a text and respond, I just forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

[Anonymous]

I am 45 and have never loved talking on the phone, but the big issue now is the phone is always there and I think that’s causing a lot of the irritation PPs are feeling. When I was a kid, the phone was at home, so there was no being interrupted while someone was working/at the store/out to lunch/whatever. Now our phones go with us, and so the risk of being interrupted goes up as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

So warped. You’re at work. If someone has a work question that could take 30 seconds to answer then it is unreasonable to expect them to take more time on that same task just to please you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

So warped. You’re at work. If someone has a work question that could take 30 seconds to answer then it is unreasonable to expect them to take more time on that same task just to please you.

This could only have been written by someone who doesn’t work or isn’t busy when they do.
I have zero time for unscheduled calls unless they are emergency. I’m almost always in a mtg or furiously getting stuff done in between. Someone can message or send an email. My working friends mostly understand this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a millennial, I work full-time, and I have three kids (for context) - I will call you any time! No one is obligated to answer, but neither am I obligated to field your availability to chat via text - how ridiculous.

People need to get over themselves. Conversations are much more efficient than written communication. Answer, or don’t - I’m still calling!

Are they more efficient?

I can skim a text or IM or email at a glance, as opposed to sitting and listening to someone unspool their sentences on a voicemail, or god forbid, having to wait for a chatterbox to finish their opening statement, their um's and ah's, and their conclusion in real time.

Wow, So Optimized!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

So warped. You’re at work. If someone has a work question that could take 30 seconds to answer then it is unreasonable to expect them to take more time on that same task just to please you.

This could only have been written by someone who doesn’t work or isn’t busy when they do.
I have zero time for unscheduled calls unless they are emergency. I’m almost always in a mtg or furiously getting stuff done in between. Someone can message or send an email. My working friends mostly understand this

We get it. You're super busy. You're also kind of an a$$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

So warped. You’re at work. If someone has a work question that could take 30 seconds to answer then it is unreasonable to expect them to take more time on that same task just to please you.

This could only have been written by someone who doesn’t work or isn’t busy when they do.
I have zero time for unscheduled calls unless they are emergency. I’m almost always in a mtg or furiously getting stuff done in between. Someone can message or send an email. My working friends mostly understand this

We get it. You're super busy. You're also kind of an a$$

Yes she’s the busiest, most important person in the world. Why doesn’t everyone see that?

[Anonymous]

Gen Xer and I hate phone calls. For work purposes, I'd rather have an email to document the issue, and for personal it's almost always something unpleasant that prompts the call.

[Anonymous]

Biglaw senior associate here. The only people that call without scheduling it in advance are partners (normally big shot ones who are genuinely busy and calling whenever they can fit it in). I don’t mind when they call out of the blue, but I admit I find it somewhat odd when a paralegal calls me randomly

[Anonymous]

I guess my unwritten rule is that only family and emergencies call. My mom is the only one who calls just to chat. My sisters maybe. If anyone else called I’d think something bad happened, or something out of this world amazing happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

Well, because I'm in the middle of a busy workday, deciding which tasks to give time to as new ones emerge. When someone emails me and the subject line says, "Thoughts about next month's meeting," I know with a quick look that I can set that one aside until later.

But a voicemail just shows up as "Larla." Does that mean "Larla just wanted to swap ideas about possible projects" or "Larla says the VP will be unexpectedly joining our morning meeting in ten minutes!" I won't know until I stop what I'm doing and play an audio recording that Larla made especially for me.

Phone calls are great for grandma time or catching up with old friends. But during the workday they just say, "I felt like interrupting you! And you won't know why until you give me the attention I want."

So warped. You’re at work. If someone has a work question that could take 30 seconds to answer then it is unreasonable to expect them to take more time on that same task just to please you.

This could only have been written by someone who doesn’t work or isn’t busy when they do.
I have zero time for unscheduled calls unless they are emergency. I’m almost always in a mtg or furiously getting stuff done in between. Someone can message or send an email. My working friends mostly understand this

+1 The folks who are coming down on you are probably just insecure because they aren't busy with anything at all (except perhaps trolling on DCUM -- but that allows for time to take phone calls).

[Anonymous]

I used to have a phone phobia, and still don't like it. I think it has something to do with the loud ringing when I was a kid that would make my heartrate skyrocket. Phonecalls are usually about something bad like an appointment. I don't always return phonecalls. It feels like an obligation. If it's really important they can email me. I can usually tell whether it's important or not to return the call. When I do answer the phone, it's almost always either a scam or wrong number. Almost everything can be accomplished with an email. I also don't like it when people assume I should be carrying my phone with me all the time, which I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess my unwritten rule is that only family and emergencies call. My mom is the only one who calls just to chat. My sisters maybe. If anyone else called I’d think something bad happened, or something out of this world amazing happened.

I have an aunt who calls in the middle of the day, because she's elderly, and it's always either bc someone in the family has died or bc she has an adorable story to tell about something one of her grandkids just did. So when I see that it's her I have to brace myself for either grief or a long, harmless narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a working mom in a C suite job downtown 3 days a week and working from home 2 days a week.

I get work calls all the time. Some colleagues text or ping me on Teams or email before calling to make sure I’m available. (Mostly subordinates; peers and higher ups just call.)

Friends and family tend to text to see if I’m free before calling during work hours. After hours they just call.

Doctors, schools, etc. just call.

Same. And I actually like receiving cold calls at work. I'm really responsive. I don't do it to others however. I notice that there's so much that's lost in translation with emails and chats.

I work for the top person in my company. and he never ever chats before calling. He calls and expects you to answer.