Hot take: it’s no longer appropriate to just call someone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only answer calls that I am expecting. Virtually every other call goes to vm. Texts are better.

I don't find it "no longer appropriate" to call me, but it does annoy me. And, like I said, I'm not going to answer.

But I hate the phone, so there's that.

Do you call them back? Why does it annoy you? It’s an attempt to connect with you.

People are so weird!

[Anonymous]

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a millennial, I work full-time, and I have three kids (for context) - I will call you any time! No one is obligated to answer, but neither am I obligated to field your availability to chat via text - how ridiculous.

People need to get over themselves. Conversations are much more efficient than written communication. Answer, or don’t - I’m still calling!

Are they more efficient?

I can skim a text or IM or email at a glance, as opposed to sitting and listening to someone unspool their sentences on a voicemail, or god forbid, having to wait for a chatterbox to finish their opening statement, their um's and ah's, and their conclusion in real time.

You sound delightful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a millennial, I work full-time, and I have three kids (for context) - I will call you any time! No one is obligated to answer, but neither am I obligated to field your availability to chat via text - how ridiculous.

People need to get over themselves. Conversations are much more efficient than written communication. Answer, or don’t - I’m still calling!

Are they more efficient?

I can skim a text or IM or email at a glance, as opposed to sitting and listening to someone unspool their sentences on a voicemail, or god forbid, having to wait for a chatterbox to finish their opening statement, their um's and ah's, and their conclusion in real time.

You sound delightful

I sure am. And I enjoy long, meandering chats with friends and family all the time-sometimes even with coworkers. But chewing the fat an efficient way to get work done, and not just something you enjoy? Let's not kid ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Sure. But then I'm stuck with a list of voicemails with no subject lines, just one more stack of inputs that I have to triage with no information that would help me prioritize them during a busy day.

Just "Larla called!" "Larla called again!" "Larla enjoys making phone calls!"

Why not just call them back??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

Bc you think it might be urgent kids or parents etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have phone phobia?

I’m Gen X (nearly 50) and I enjoy getting old school phone calls out of the blue.

I'm Gen X, too, and I hate talking on the phone. I always have, though, so it's not because texting and email are easier. But they are less stressful for me. Having said that, I have a new potential romantic interest. He calls me, and I love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

[Anonymous]

14:59 again and I’ll pick up for the kids school if I see it and am not busy at work. If I’m busy, since I have a job where I don’t have my phone on me, I read the voice to message text later. They have the main line number at my job to call if it’s an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

So you never talk to your friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only answer calls that I am expecting. Virtually every other call goes to vm. Texts are better.

I don't find it "no longer appropriate" to call me, but it does annoy me. And, like I said, I'm not going to answer.

But I hate the phone, so there's that.

Do you call them back? Why does it annoy you? It’s an attempt to connect with you.

People are so weird!

Why does it annoy me? It annoys me because 1) much of the time it is an unsolicited spam call, or even scammers, and I don't need to be interrupted by that while trying to work, and 2) like I said, I hate talking on the phone in general.

Assuming it is someone I know and actually care to talk to, then yes, of course I call them back.

I really don't think this is "so weird."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this so horrible? What I hate are the endless text streams which are difficult to decipher in tone.

And appointments? I have had an eye doctor, a dentist and a salon all call me in the last week to let me know that the appointments I booked online, with text confirmations, were actually NOT available.

+1. My lawyer tries to text and it inevitably leads to a longer text “conversation” than necessary. A quick phone call clears everything up quickly. He’s on a flat fee, so it’s not as if he’s juicing the billing. Texting is just totally inefficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have phone phobia?

I’m Gen X (nearly 50) and I enjoy getting old school phone calls out of the blue.

I'm Gen X, too, and I hate talking on the phone. I always have, though, so it's not because texting and email are easier. But they are less stressful for me. Having said that, I have a new potential romantic interest. He calls me, and I love it!

Early 50's gen x-er here, and I also hate getting spontaneous calls. I don't necessarily always hate talking on the phone, but unplanned calls are as jarring for me as someone just showing up at my door (which never bothered my parents, but which I hated).

I'm old enough to have been well into adulthood before getting a mobile phone and think that the capacity to call anyone anywhere anytime is cool in theory but leads to tricky boundaries about when it's ok/not ok to call. Sure I can let a call go to vm, but these days the assumption is that you have seen that someone has called (vs in the olden days - especially pre-answering machines - you could have been away from home and not known that anyone was trying to call. And there were hours generally understood to be considerate during which someone would try to reach you (eg no one called during supper time or after 9pm).

I guess that for me unannounced calls feel like being put on the spot. Even if I don't answer, the clock is running on the acceptable window of time to get back to someone without being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have phone phobia?

I’m Gen X (nearly 50) and I enjoy getting old school phone calls out of the blue.

Im Gen X too and I love it too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So obviously this has nuance, but I think there is something in 2023 really sub optimum about calling someone randomly in the day. I am always in meetings but typically answer in case it’s the kids camp or school. These are all cases where they have email info or could text. Does anyone else find it super non ideal when people just… call? Unless it’s emergent?

Funny. I just got off the phone with a former colleague who called randomly. He does it every 5 or 6 weeks or so. I love hearing from him.

My parents and sisters call more than text. Other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) call randomly.

I don't know if this is more about me or the type of people I know.