Hot take: it’s no longer appropriate to just call someone

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert with social anxiety and particularly dislike the telephone, so email and texts are a godsend. I'm not put on the spot to string together socially appropriate words: I can just think for a minute, and send off a nice message, or receive one and not have to stress about an immediate response.

I've met extroverted, social people who prefer to talk on the phone vs email or text, and that's fine. Just not too often

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have phone phobia?

I’m Gen X (nearly 50) and I enjoy getting old school phone calls out of the blue.

I am considerably older than you, but hate them.

If it is on the weekend, I was undoubtedly just about to do something/have plans. At night, I am vegging out/too tired.

If it is during the week/day, I probably have a deadline/again, some plan for my time.

Just ask for a certain amount of time and I will schedule it, like I might a lunch with a friend. For a time I am relaxed and can make it my priority.

Then just don’t answer. No one is demanding you answer the phone every time it rings. You know there is a thing called voicemail.

[Anonymous]

I am a millennial, I work full-time, and I have three kids (for context) - I will call you any time! No one is obligated to answer, but neither am I obligated to field your availability to chat via text - how ridiculous.

People need to get over themselves. Conversations are much more efficient than written communication. Answer, or don’t - I’m still calling!

[Anonymous]

I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

[Anonymous]

The kinds of calls I prefer to arrange in advance are just catch up calls. Within someone (family member) who you have not talked to in a month or more. It won't be quick.

I hate getting those when I am in the middle of a movie or about to do my Saturday chores. It seems rude to not pick up, when we rarely talk. But I feel like it is rude to say "make an appointment to talk to me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kinds of calls I prefer to arrange in advance are just catch up calls. Within someone (family member) who you have not talked to in a month or more. It won't be quick.

I hate getting those when I am in the middle of a movie or about to do my Saturday chores. It seems rude to not pick up, when we rarely talk. But I feel like it is rude to say "make an appointment to talk to me."

So why not just call them back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kinds of calls I prefer to arrange in advance are just catch up calls. Within someone (family member) who you have not talked to in a month or more. It won't be quick.

I hate getting those when I am in the middle of a movie or about to do my Saturday chores. It seems rude to not pick up, when we rarely talk. But I feel like it is rude to say "make an appointment to talk to me."

WTf it’s not rude to not answer. You could be in the bathroom, shower, away from your phone etc. You do realize they can’t see you?

Do you expect everyone you call to answer every single time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have phone phobia?

I’m Gen X (nearly 50) and I enjoy getting old school phone calls out of the blue.

I hate that I have the phobia and I wish I was in closer touch with my old friends via phone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So obviously this has nuance, but I think there is something in 2023 really sub optimum about calling someone randomly in the day. I am always in meetings but typically answer in case it’s the kids camp or school. These are all cases where they have email info or could text. Does anyone else find it super non ideal when people just… call? Unless it’s emergent?

I would have thought I would disagree with you. But I don't. I grew up in a time when I was constantly on the phone. But, I now (in most instances) find it horribly intrusive when people call me out of the blue. I much prefer a text that is "do you have a minute to talk?" or some such thing.

[Anonymous]

100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kinds of calls I prefer to arrange in advance are just catch up calls. Within someone (family member) who you have not talked to in a month or more. It won't be quick.

I hate getting those when I am in the middle of a movie or about to do my Saturday chores. It seems rude to not pick up, when we rarely talk. But I feel like it is rude to say "make an appointment to talk to me."

So why not just call them back?

Yeah you just say "hey, can't talk right now. Can i call you back? Will you be around this afternoon or tomorrow?" Honestly I have no idea how people survive anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100%. Calling out of the blue is not acceptable any more. If someone calls me randomly esp on a weekday it makes steam come out of my ears

But why?

Does everyone here realize that you are not obligated to answer the phone at that moment?

[Anonymous]

I only answer calls that I am expecting. Virtually every other call goes to vm. Texts are better.

I don't find it "no longer appropriate" to call me, but it does annoy me. And, like I said, I'm not going to answer.

But I hate the phone, so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a millennial, I work full-time, and I have three kids (for context) - I will call you any time! No one is obligated to answer, but neither am I obligated to field your availability to chat via text - how ridiculous.

People need to get over themselves. Conversations are much more efficient than written communication. Answer, or don’t - I’m still calling!

Are they more efficient?

I can skim a text or IM or email at a glance, as opposed to sitting and listening to someone unspool their sentences on a voicemail, or god forbid, having to wait for a chatterbox to finish their opening statement, their um's and ah's, and their conclusion in real time.