Hot take: it’s no longer appropriate to just call someone

[Anonymous]

So exactly how do I not call my relatives with regular phones? They don’t use cell phones or email.

My 84 year old MIL loves calls from us and grandkids.

[Anonymous]

I actually don’t text, email, do social media or like to talk on a phone.

I have zero personal contacts in my phone other than immediate family. Wife and kids.

But I am a very social person. Except I like to meet in person.

I don’t need fake friends. Texting and social media is fake.

For instance two weeks ago met a good friend for lunch. Rare time I did text but only to say do you want to meet for lunch

I don’t see why one person can control communication method. I like to meet in person, some like to talk on phone, some like email.

My cousins have a what’s app group. I rarely participate. But I will on a holiday etc.

I rather meet people in person once ever decade than involved stupid text groups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So obviously this has nuance, but I think there is something in 2023 really sub optimum about calling someone randomly in the day. I am always in meetings but typically answer in case it’s the kids camp or school. These are all cases where they have email info or could text. Does anyone else find it super non ideal when people just… call? Unless it’s emergent?

There's a button on the cell screen that is red, you swipe it to the left. I don't fret about it, and I definitely cannot take calls during work.

[Anonymous]

Calls during regular business hours is one thing. Calls after standard work hours are another. Outside of late night and work hours calls are fine.

[Anonymous]

I have only one friend who calls unannounced. One. Out of all the people I know in my entire life. I usually don’t pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

So you never talk to your friends?

Not with voice calls. I text people all of the time. Busy working parents don’t have time to talk on the phone. It’s only gotten worse now that my kids are teens and I’m always out somewhere. Many friends are in the same situation. Even if we get together, we coordinate by text. Friends that live far away, we catch up by text. There can be hours or days between messages. Everyone understands.

So you never talk to your friends.

[Anonymous]

Foreigners are on phone all day long so someone is calling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foreigners are on phone all day long so someone is calling

Americans have become neurotic. We’re lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes-- calls are not preferred. They make life more hectic.

I am 50, and have disliked talking on the phone since way before mobile phones existed. But I disagree with you here. When I do pick up a call from a friend or family member, I find that it makes my day less hectic, because it reminds me to get off the frantic hamster wheel that is my to-do list and actually appreciate another person's conversation. Yes, some things might have to get dropped or shifted to a later time, but in the end we are all worm food, so savor what is important while you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes-- calls are not preferred. They make life more hectic.

I am 50, and have disliked talking on the phone since way before mobile phones existed. But I disagree with you here. When I do pick up a call from a friend or family member, I find that it makes my day less hectic, because it reminds me to get off the frantic hamster wheel that is my to-do list and actually appreciate another person's conversation. Yes, some things might have to get dropped or shifted to a later time, but in the end we are all worm food, so savor what is important while you can.

My blood pressure goes down when i talk to someone either via a call or in person. Texts stress me out like I’m at work. They’re like someone standing at your desk or next to you waiting for an immediate answer. I do not have the same feeling with a phone call because it is understood that if I’m busy I won’t pick up. Text messages are as bad as someone TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So exactly how do I not call my relatives with regular phones? They don’t use cell phones or email.

My 84 year old MIL loves calls from us and grandkids.

Oh of course you just bear with the old people
I am talking about young people who are low tech and refuse to learn. I can like them all right but the friendship won’t last if they don’t respond to texts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don’t text, email, do social media or like to talk on a phone.

I have zero personal contacts in my phone other than immediate family. Wife and kids.

But I am a very social person. Except I like to meet in person.

I don’t need fake friends. Texting and social media is fake.

For instance two weeks ago met a good friend for lunch. Rare time I did text but only to say do you want to meet for lunch

I don’t see why one person can control communication method. I like to meet in person, some like to talk on phone, some like email.

My cousins have a what’s app group. I rarely participate. But I will on a holiday etc.

I rather meet people in person once ever decade than involved stupid text groups

You are within your right but if the preferred methods don’t align people just grow apart.
There are few people I want to meet in person. The rest it’s just easier to talk or text

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

So you never talk to your friends?

Not with voice calls. I text people all of the time. Busy working parents don’t have time to talk on the phone. It’s only gotten worse now that my kids are teens and I’m always out somewhere. Many friends are in the same situation. Even if we get together, we coordinate by text. Friends that live far away, we catch up by text. There can be hours or days between messages. Everyone understands.

So you never talk to your friends.

As I explained, no, not on the phone. Frequently with text. I don’t know any friends in their 40s or 50s picking up the phone to chat. I don’t know why some of you are so upset by this. I’m not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

So you never talk to your friends?

Not with voice calls. I text people all of the time. Busy working parents don’t have time to talk on the phone. It’s only gotten worse now that my kids are teens and I’m always out somewhere. Many friends are in the same situation. Even if we get together, we coordinate by text. Friends that live far away, we catch up by text. There can be hours or days between messages. Everyone understands.

So you never talk to your friends.

As I explained, no, not on the phone. Frequently with text. I don’t know any friends in their 40s or 50s picking up the phone to chat. I don’t know why some of you are so upset by this. I’m not.

I’m in my late 40s and love to catch up via phone. Easier than texting. I only text with friends when it’s a quick question. Never to catch up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my late 40s, married with kids and work full time. Call whenever but I’m not answering your calls. My phone is silenced and it will go to voicemail.

Do you return missed calls?

Usually no. It depends what it is. If it’s any type of doctor appointment calling to confirm an appointment, no. They won’t actually cancel. If they are calling to cancel and tell me I need to reschedule then yes, I’ll call back.

If you are my elderly mother, that return call will happen on my way to work the next day. If it’s an emergency and a message is left I’ll call back sooner.

If it’s a friend or acquaintance, I’m not calling back to talk. We can catch up by text.

So you never talk to your friends?

Not with voice calls. I text people all of the time. Busy working parents don’t have time to talk on the phone. It’s only gotten worse now that my kids are teens and I’m always out somewhere. Many friends are in the same situation. Even if we get together, we coordinate by text. Friends that live far away, we catch up by text. There can be hours or days between messages. Everyone understands.

So you never talk to your friends.

As I explained, no, not on the phone. Frequently with text. I don’t know any friends in their 40s or 50s picking up the phone to chat. I don’t know why some of you are so upset by this. I’m not.

I’m in my late 40s and love to catch up via phone. Easier than texting. I only text with friends when it’s a quick question. Never to catch up.

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