How do married people find the random time to cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

Am I the only one that does pretty much everything with my husband? And when we’re not together, we are meeting at the same location nearly always. To randomly disrupt that routine would set off a lot of red flags in our house. But maybe some spouses are just naive or in denial?

Do you both WFH? What about errands? No work travel? No trips, for even a few hours to see relatives without both of you there? I’m pretty sure my DH has never cheated but I’ve thought about how he has plenty of ways to fit in in if he wanted to and we do most things together, within reason (don’t social separately, know where each other should be at all times but we do work outside the house and occasionally travel for work).

[Anonymous]

You’re wasting your time on a silly anonymous chat board full of weirdos as we speak. Does your spouse know that? You could find the time to cheat if you wanted. Anybody can. People who say they’re too busy to make any time for themselves are full of shit.

[Anonymous]

During work hours calls texts and randomly meeting up when he could he came to my house during work hours . Sometimes on weekends when she was busy

[Anonymous]

I used to slip out during work hours for “illegal” massages. Everybody has a little extra time on their hands. Everybody.

[Anonymous]

You have a whole hour during your kids sports practices. Tell your spouse you stayed to watch. Your welcome.

[Anonymous]

They don’t find the time; they steal it, mostly from their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t find the time; they steal it, mostly from their children.

Bingo. Ex wife wasn’t involved in any of our tween/teen sons after school/weekend sports activities. Too busy edging around. She also arranged for us to be out of town - college tours and stuff so she could be with him while we were gone. Her lies were deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are naive, OP. Where there is a will, there’s a way. You could ‘go to the gym’ at night, have dinner with a ‘friend’, you could say you are doing any number of things and run out for a quickie. I know people who work in an office will get a hotel room during lunch. And when I used to travel for work, married men especially would use their hotel room to hook up with women.

Am I the only one that does pretty much everything with my husband? And when we’re not together, we are meeting at the same location nearly always. To randomly disrupt that routine would set off a lot of red flags in our house. But maybe some spouses are just naive or in denial?

That’s me. We have all the same interests, have fun together, workout together, socialize with friends together…it was an hour once or twice a month during his workday when I made the logical assumption that he was at work. I work too and had zero suspicion and he never stayed late or went out alone, etc.

It actually meant it was easier to do because zero suspicions were there. I even knew his phone password, as he knows mine.

Wow. That’s really horrible. How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

Ex husband met people in a car for a quickie. When working at home brought people back to the house. Once I came home for something I forgot and found someone there with him like in that Love Actually movie. It was awful. Then I was able to look back at photos and things he had from the affairs and found all this evidence from years back. It had really picked up during Covid because he had more opportunity all over the dmv but existed before. It is so gross when you realize you’ve been having sex with someone who has been doing this stuff behind your back.

[Anonymous]

Be aware that people cheat or experiment with same sex partners as well as opposite sex partners. Your spouse could be hanging with their friend who is more than a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t find the time; they steal it, mostly from their children.

But if they are doing it on work trips, are they? They are there for work anyway. They would otherwise be sitting in front of the TV in their hotel room. Or sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Would close the door to my office and bend her over my desk. Go to other parts of the building that were unoccupied and go into an office, go to her house while her husband was at work, go in her SUV, go to a remote area of a park,… I could go on all day. It was easy!

[Anonymous]

My ex told his work that he was taking a long lunch to take me out for Valentines Day. He did and then left to meet someone for sex all before returning. I have the text messages.

[Anonymous]

Additionally I know they would each take their kids - my brother and her son, who were both toddlers - and meet up in a hotel room with a suite and set the kids up with toys/TV while they DTD.

Amazing that neither set of kids blabbed anything suspicious in front of either cheated-on spouse - “when daddy took me to the playdate at the hotel” or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbor lady went back to work when her husband’s friend offered her a job that was too good to pass up. She used to gush about what a great boss he was. She has since then left her husband for her boss.

Was the entire job offer a ruse or was it a legit offer at first? I’m struggling to see what job a random SAHM could land that pays a boatload (“too good to pass up”)?

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No idea. I remember thinking it sounded strange at the time when she first described it. I have been told that I have good instincts for this kind of stuff.