How do married people find the random time to cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex would wait for me to fall asleep, then he would go out around 11pm. I was a new mom so I was exhausted. But when baby woke up and I noticed he wasn't there multiple times, the running to McDonald's for a snack excuse stopped working. Especially when I noticed he took my car and gas was low, and that he had taken an apple with him to McDonald's and left it on my seat.

Used Google account to figure out his map history.

He was cheating while you BOTH were new parents with an infant at home? Beyond the pale. I'm so sorry, PP.
Are you and he still together?

Unfortunately I was also pregnant with my second when I found out, my oldest was 1 but still not sleeping through the night. So not exactly new parents, but he had been doing it during that time too. Even went out as I slept on our daughter's first birthday.

We are not together anymore. I did try to stay for a while after my second was born. I moved out, got a place nearby, and still tried to make it work. He actually broke it off with me because I became absolutely crazy over the whole thing. It's the best thing he ever did. I can't say I'm happy now though. Dating scene is rough and so are finances.

[Anonymous]

Man, I had a coworker, a teacher at that, who was banging all kinds of guys while her husband and 3 kids were coaching their team. Yuck-o-rama! It ended with a cheat baby and a divorce. Not cool!

My own father was terrible. He traveled for business for months at a time all around the world, and he once took me with him and he disappeared each night and left me in the hotel room (I was 13). He came back soused and sly around 4 am. I did not tell but lost all respect for him. I noticed that some of the ladies looked at him in a certain way. It took me some time to realize why. He is crazy though, and liked doing what he wanted. He is kind of narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

They just get other phones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some occupations have irregular (non 9 to 5) shifts and work days. Think firefighters, police, healthcare, restaurant and healthcare workers. If someone has a past time like golf or hunting, they can and do get away with a lot if they're inclined to cheat.

Teachers. Early hours and summers off. No money. The OW was a teacher in my scenario. My sister told me years ago it’s the one you least expect. I’m sure my ex probably lied to her about his status —and some teachers can be NAIVE. They hang around kids most of their working day so they have little experience with adults. (The rest of us are identifying adult deceit or other manipulations left and right).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

They leave the phone in their car at that location and jump in the other persons car—-there also is an easy way to hack find my iPhone. My ex could drop the pin from the computer to make it look like he was somewhere he wasn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just discovered a good friend’s wife has been cheating for like a year! We never saw it coming. My husband and I can’t fathom where you randomly find the time and excuses that wouldn’t immediately set off tons of red flags. Or maybe she did and the husband didn’t want to admit it to himself? Our family has a pretty full routine between work, kids, and family leisure. And with so many WFH, that leaves even less “free” time.

Do cheaters out of the blue make up work conferences they have to go on? I know the only “working late” trope but nobody works late anymore. You can work late at home, if needed.

It usually happens when the kids are older/teens and are less intensely engaged/in need of their parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, I had a coworker, a teacher at that, who was banging all kinds of guys while her husband and 3 kids were coaching their team. Yuck-o-rama! It ended with a cheat baby and a divorce. Not cool!

My own father was terrible. He traveled for business for months at a time all around the world, and he once took me with him and he disappeared each night and left me in the hotel room (I was 13). He came back soused and sly around 4 am. I did not tell but lost all respect for him. I noticed that some of the ladies looked at him in a certain way. It took me some time to realize why. He is crazy though, and liked doing what he wanted. He is kind of narcissistic.

My SAH neighbor used to have the men come in her home as soon as teens left for school and hubby left for work. She carried on for many years before one of the guy’s wife found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

They leave the phone in their car at that location and jump in the other persons car—-there also is an easy way to hack find my iPhone. My ex could drop the pin from the computer to make it look like he was somewhere he wasn’t.

Wow the length ppl will go to have an affair. I am exhausted just thinking about all of the steps it takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

They leave the phone in their car at that location and jump in the other persons car—-there also is an easy way to hack find my iPhone. My ex could drop the pin from the computer to make it look like he was somewhere he wasn’t.

Wow the length ppl will go to have an affair. I am exhausted just thinking about all of the steps it takes.

You'd be surprised the life a new obsession can breathe into you, no matter how old you are. That feeling is 90% of the reason people go through with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

+1

Are there spouses who have time to check these things? It's too much work to keep track of an adult. And the cheater will still cheat with all the tracking.

[Anonymous]

I know of someone who literally made a flier for a fake conference to show their spouse. So yeah, people do do that. But usually your spouse doesn't ask for proof that you really have a conference.

I think if you have the desire to cheat, it's not that hard to find a few minutes here or there.

[Anonymous]

Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is hard to believe that with Find My IPhone and Life360, ppl still use the errand excuse to meet w AP. Or do they just accidentally leave their phones at home on those “errands”.

They leave the phone in their car at that location and jump in the other persons car—-there also is an easy way to hack find my iPhone. My ex could drop the pin from the computer to make it look like he was somewhere he wasn’t.

Wow the length ppl will go to have an affair. I am exhausted just thinking about all of the steps it takes.

Here is the thing: cheating is a lot of fun. I think people forget that. It’s the feeling of falling in love again and having extremely naughty sex, hot sex and having naughty secrets. If you are depressed, cheating makes you feel alive again. It all comes crashing down eventually but in the moment you are willing to do a lot.