Worried for my friend—could this be grooming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doubt a guy in his 80s with one foot in the grave is a groomer.

Do you have anxiety OP?

This is a complacent notion and the sort of nonchalance that gets kids hurt. Old men still have urges, and sexual predators don’t change.

Robert De Niro is 80 and is going to be a father again. Just saying.

Did you just call Robert DeNiro a predator?

No, I called him a man with one foot in the grave, per PP, who obviously still gets horny and has urges. She was implying 80yo men don’t have sex, I think.

What’s weird and wrong is you conflating sexual behavior and predatory behavior. Anyone who knows anything about sexual predators knows the urges aren’t actually about sex. The DeNiro reference is making an apples to paper clip comparison. And it’s offensive on many levels. You really should be ashamed of yourself and get some education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a totally normal interaction with an elderly neighbor who was probably bored out of his gourd until this kind woman and her kids showed up is now "grooming"? Come on, 99.9% of people are NOT sexual predators. Stop living your life in fear, you'll be much happier.

Your head is buried so deep it must be halfway to China.

No you’ve been brainwashed by media hype. Pp is right, less than 5% of adults are child abusers and sadly 40% or abusers are other adolescents. Not worth it to live your life in fear. Teach your kids to be firm about body boundaries but not to live in fear of everyone.

[Anonymous]

Doubtful this man is a predator. And, I think of a neighbor like this named Mr. Anderson, lovely man who was a role model for me!

Not every man is a predator, some are just lonely and want grandkids to hang out with.

Now the one old guy I knew who was a predator was my best friends grandfather, always wanted me to go sit on his lap, right in front of my friends mom and other family members. I knew this guy was a perv at age 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a totally normal interaction with an elderly neighbor who was probably bored out of his gourd until this kind woman and her kids showed up is now "grooming"? Come on, 99.9% of people are NOT sexual predators. Stop living your life in fear, you'll be much happier.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yea. I’m an anxious person. But I’m not making this up…yes, golf carts are dangerous, especially for kids. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022437520301237
https://www.golfcartreport.com/are-golf-carts-dangerous/

I certainly wouldn’t let my kids ride in one w someone I barely know, especially someone in their 80s who is more likely than younger adults to have a health event while driving…risk is too great.

The only acceptable risk is zero risk, right?

No. But I’m not willing to risk my kids’ safety for a totally unnecessary golf cart ride w a 80 something year old man I don’t know very well. You must have bad risk assessment if you think that’s a reasonable and safe situation to put young kids in…

You need to unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may not be a groomer but the mom’s giving the kids the message it’s okay to be alone with older men, so in another situation they may be at risk. They may be too trusting.

It’s okay for preschool age children to be alone with an older woman, but NOT ok to be alone with an older man.

This risk calculation makes no sense. 40% of child sex abuse is from other adolescents. Are you going to restrict your children from all other children and all men? At some point your attempts to keep them safe are doing greater harm than good.

Teach your kids about appropriate body boundaries. Teach them to stand up for themselves and not just to be people pleasers. They are in the best position to protect themselves from abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may not be a groomer but the mom’s giving the kids the message it’s okay to be alone with older men, so in another situation they may be at risk. They may be too trusting.

We definitely need to teach children to be wary of octogenarians. Have you seen Congress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doubt a guy in his 80s with one foot in the grave is a groomer.

Do you have anxiety OP?

What an ignorant response!

[Anonymous]

Be a parent. No need to leave your young children with people who you do not know. You are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may not be a groomer but the mom’s giving the kids the message it’s okay to be alone with older men, so in another situation they may be at risk. They may be too trusting.

We definitely need to teach children to be wary of octogenarians. Have you seen Congress?

Hastert. Enough said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doubt a guy in his 80s with one foot in the grave is a groomer.

Do you have anxiety OP?

What an ignorant response!

Yet, at least one PP was honest and admitted she has anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my little kids go off with ANYONE I have only know for a few months.

This is the correct answer. It’s just not smart at all. He could be Mr Rodgers or he could be a predator- it’s way too soon to know. Heck, women MARRY men who, years later, they find out were after them just for access to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may not be a groomer but the mom’s giving the kids the message it’s okay to be alone with older men, so in another situation they may be at risk. They may be too trusting.

We definitely need to teach children to be wary of octogenarians. Have you seen Congress?

Right? An 80 year old pervert sat next to me on the metro recently. Talking about “pretty girls”, women’s body parts, and how he isn’t “allowed” to have internet anymore. His age means nothing.

[Anonymous]

Some of you need to watch this, get off the internet and learn a little kindness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my little kids go off with ANYONE I have only know for a few months.

This is the correct answer. It’s just not smart at all. He could be Mr Rodgers or he could be a predator- it’s way too soon to know. Heck, women MARRY men who, years later, they find out were after them just for access to the kids.

Agree, it could be harmless or it could be predatory. In any case, an elderly man taking such a close interest in a single mom w very young kids that he comes over DAILY is not normal, so it deserves some scrutiny. We have a sweet elderly neighbor and she gives our kids gifts like sidewalk chalk and invites them to help her toss birdseed on her driveway when we happen to be outside at the same time. She doesn’t come over every day or take my kids into her house.

If OP had posted, “I am a single SAHM and my 80 year old male neighbor has been coming over every day to have coffee and donuts with me, and I let my 3/4 year olds go on their own with him to his farm”, I don’t there there would be so many of you saying, “Go for it! Sounds wonderful, nothing to worry about”.