How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was red shirted 30 years ago and he thinks it gave him a leg up.

A friend taught kindergarten for years and said she would always recommend red shirt-ing boys with birthdays close to the cut off. Said girls were usually fine, but more of a case by case.

It makes him older not smarter. You cannot change your IQ.

Good thing there is so much more to being successful than IQ.

IQ generally plays a good part in it.

So does confidence, maturity, and a host of other things. We all know plenty of book smart people who have crashed and burned in the real world because that have poor social skills, are ineffective communicators, lack confidence, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

+1

"Gift", my arse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Why does a few weeks matter? I turned 19 the first week of college with a September birthday. My kid will turn 19 in August one week before college starts. How is this different in actual substance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Oh well. We can all have our own "normal" then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

No because 11/1 is after the cutoff anyway and he’d be one of the older kids naturally … unless you are the deliberately obtuse poster from the NYC region to refuses to understand that the rest of the country has a school cutoff between 7/31 and 9/30.

MCPS allows for flexibility up till 10/15 with test in. Some privates will allow 10/15 as well.

Ok great, 11/1 is still after the cutoff in MCPS and every other state and region other than NYC where our favorite anti-redshirting troll with low reading comprehension apparently resides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Hi, Natural Law Lady!

It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Mention redshirting and this wackjob comes out to inform you that redshirted kids are ostracized losers whose parents are cheating in order to Win the Kindergarten Cage-Match.

If you listen to the actual experiences of actual parents who actually redshirted their actual kids you’ll get a clearer picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Why does a few weeks matter? I turned 19 the first week of college with a September birthday. My kid will turn 19 in August one week before college starts. How is this different in actual substance?

How do you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Hi, Natural Law Lady!

It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Mention redshirting and this wackjob comes out to inform you that redshirted kids are ostracized losers whose parents are cheating in order to Win the Kindergarten Cage-Match.

If you listen to the actual experiences of actual parents who actually redshirted their actual kids you’ll get a clearer picture.

I have more experience than you with this as I have a September kid and no way would they have wanted me to have held them back. I do have the full picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

No because 11/1 is after the cutoff anyway and he’d be one of the older kids naturally … unless you are the deliberately obtuse poster from the NYC region to refuses to understand that the rest of the country has a school cutoff between 7/31 and 9/30.

MCPS allows for flexibility up till 10/15 with test in. Some privates will allow 10/15 as well.

Ok great, 11/1 is still after the cutoff in MCPS and every other state and region other than NYC where our favorite anti-redshirting troll with low reading comprehension apparently resides.

The issue isn't so much fall kids but the February-August kids who were held back and could have gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Hi, Natural Law Lady!

It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Mention redshirting and this wackjob comes out to inform you that redshirted kids are ostracized losers whose parents are cheating in order to Win the Kindergarten Cage-Match.

If you listen to the actual experiences of actual parents who actually redshirted their actual kids you’ll get a clearer picture.

I have more experience than you with this as I have a September kid and no way would they have wanted me to have held them back. I do have the full picture.

You have the full picture of your one kid. And other people have the full picture of their kids. Your experience doesn't trump all, everyone is just sharing. There is no right answer across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

No because 11/1 is after the cutoff anyway and he’d be one of the older kids naturally … unless you are the deliberately obtuse poster from the NYC region to refuses to understand that the rest of the country has a school cutoff between 7/31 and 9/30.

MCPS allows for flexibility up till 10/15 with test in. Some privates will allow 10/15 as well.

Ok great, 11/1 is still after the cutoff in MCPS and every other state and region other than NYC where our favorite anti-redshirting troll with low reading comprehension apparently resides.

The issue isn't so much fall kids but the February-August kids who were held back and could have gone.

Well in many areas of the country, 7/31 is the cutoff now, and people do move so keep that in mind.

I haven’t seen much redshirting at all of the school year/spring birthdays in public. In private schools it’s different. But again, if you don’t like the earlier “unofficial” cutoffs in private, you’re obviously free to slum it in public school with the rest of us, where a July-September kid sent on time won’t be out of place at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was "redshirted" by 4 days. She's in high school now and it's a total non-issue. She has executive function delays and she's doing much better than she would be if she was a grade ahead.

She might have been just fine if she was a grade ahead.

I doubt it. She's autistic (which we didn't know when we decided to hold her back) and her academic, executive function, and social skills have always been delayed. She learned to read in 2nd grade -- I'm glad it wasn't 3rd grade!

This makes no sense and why didn't you get her help? In that year you delayed her, she could have been getting the help she needed from the school vs. having you just ignore things for a year, which probably made it worse vs. better.

Did I say I didn't get her help? Why would you assume I was ignoring anything? In the year that she repeated PK, she was diagnosed and connected to an amazing SN school where she thrived in kindergarten -- she started K as a 5 year old, just like everyone else (turning 6 a few weeks after school started).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Normal is to go at 18, except if you were held back. You held your child back so their "normal" timeline has artificially changed.

Hi, Natural Law Lady!

It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Mention redshirting and this wackjob comes out to inform you that redshirted kids are ostracized losers whose parents are cheating in order to Win the Kindergarten Cage-Match.

If you listen to the actual experiences of actual parents who actually redshirted their actual kids you’ll get a clearer picture.

I have more experience than you with this as I have a September kid and no way would they have wanted me to have held them back. I do have the full picture.

Same. I have an August kid and he says no way would he want to be in a younger grade (now in upper ES). However, I can see that older kids have an advantage in academics and sports. There are boys a full year older than him. But I wasn’t going to hold him back just to be even with the other people who did that.