What happened to average kids? Where are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with saying the world needs J Crew salespeople? I am a different poster fwiw. I honestly will be fine with any job my kid has as long as he is diligent at it and he can live independently even if very modestly.

The person writing that doesn’t exactly indicate that HER kids will have those professions, and she is SO proud. Knock it off, people who throw in crap like that.

Maybe her kids aren’t average… mine is. He is not driven and that’s even worse.

[Anonymous]

My kids are the BEST at being average. I'm so proud!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s some kind of culture or attitude that’s been imported? I ask as an immigrant from Eastern Europe and many parents in my community are truly crazy about stuffing their kids with as many activities as possible. I know this community is not the only one like that. It creates and feeds the whole industry of tutoring centers of all kinds.
On the other hand, before I came here I had this idea of the American way of life where kids have fun at school, they try new activities and sports, and if they work hard (being on the team) and get good grades they go to college. Where did it all go?

I mean, I do think we are seeing the impact of certain hyper-competitive parenting approaches, some of which yes, were associated with some immigrant communities, and created a kind of race to the bottom. But it's also all spurred by this belief in socioeconomic mobility which makes people in the US (whether immigrants or not) believe that if they can just position their children appropriately, success and riches will follow. And this implies that if you don't position your kids correctly, failure and poverty could follow.

It seems like it's driven by opportunity but it's actually driven by fear of failure. It's capitalism run amok.

This person is signaling 2nd gen Indians

Indians are obsessed with the rat race from a very early age though

Ha! Not just them.
Eastern Europe (or former ussr rather?), China… basically places where it’s very very hard to be poor.
As someone from one of these countries I say Americans have a great safety net, despite a common misconception. So no need to be so afraid.

Yeah and it's amazing with all their early outstanding performances that they don't deliver more to the world..... hmm there must be something to that.

I’ve heard an opinion that cream of the crop goes to the US and Europe and build up these countries.
It’s more interesting to see how well the kids of immigrants with these beliefs do here. The highest level is still white 3+ Gen Americans imho but I am super curious to see if it changes in a generation or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard. I hate hearing my ten year old say he is too old to try a new sport, but I hate even more than he is right.

What??

I started taking ballet lessons at 28. No, I wasn't going to be a prima ballerina, but I could have fun, use my body, and learn something. Isn't that the point??

I’m sorry but he’s right! My son is 14 years old and he cannot start on a sport now because every other kid has already been doing it for 10 years and since there are no other kids starting off, he would be the worst kid by far. There are no beginners and that makes it very hard for anybody wanting to start off. for example, my son can’t start on football right now, because everybody else is much more experience. I’m talking county rec teams and forget about high school football , there’s just no room for him on the team.

Is this attitude from you? Then of course he's failing. I sent my kids to a small private school so they can try new things! There's a no cut policy! There is also room for those who really excel too. The school allows for private coaches for those kids and make allowances for competitions. Like th

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Failure is not final.

Not true. By 10, I was clearly not athletic or academic.

[Anonymous]

We need average kids so the rockstars can prevail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s some kind of culture or attitude that’s been imported? I ask as an immigrant from Eastern Europe and many parents in my community are truly crazy about stuffing their kids with as many activities as possible. I know this community is not the only one like that. It creates and feeds the whole industry of tutoring centers of all kinds.
On the other hand, before I came here I had this idea of the American way of life where kids have fun at school, they try new activities and sports, and if they work hard (being on the team) and get good grades they go to college. Where did it all go?

I mean, I do think we are seeing the impact of certain hyper-competitive parenting approaches, some of which yes, were associated with some immigrant communities, and created a kind of race to the bottom. But it's also all spurred by this belief in socioeconomic mobility which makes people in the US (whether immigrants or not) believe that if they can just position their children appropriately, success and riches will follow. And this implies that if you don't position your kids correctly, failure and poverty could follow.

It seems like it's driven by opportunity but it's actually driven by fear of failure. It's capitalism run amok.

This person is signaling 2nd gen Indians

Indians are obsessed with the rat race from a very early age though

Ha! Not just them.
Eastern Europe (or former ussr rather?), China… basically places where it’s very very hard to be poor.
As someone from one of these countries I say Americans have a great safety net, despite a common misconception. So no need to be so afraid.

Yeah and it's amazing with all their early outstanding performances that they don't deliver more to the world..... hmm there must be something to that.

They burn out by age 12 while the Americans grow into their frames

[Anonymous]

They’re at home playing and reading and doing stuff with their family and you never hear about it because their parents are normal people who don’t view their children as status symbols through whom they vicariously achieve accomplishments. My kids are just kids. Average and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with saying the world needs J Crew salespeople? I am a different poster fwiw. I honestly will be fine with any job my kid has as long as he is diligent at it and he can live independently even if very modestly.

The world needs ditch diggers too, son.

-Caddyshack

[Anonymous]

Found out recently that my DS (9) is being bullied on the soccer field at school by a kid who has been told he’s good because he’s on a travel team. The state of youth sports is truly sad. Kids can’t even play pick up sports for fun and recreation now without fear of some arrogant kid bullying them for trying because that jerk of a kid has been fed some story that he’s the next Messi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s some kind of culture or attitude that’s been imported? I ask as an immigrant from Eastern Europe and many parents in my community are truly crazy about stuffing their kids with as many activities as possible. I know this community is not the only one like that. It creates and feeds the whole industry of tutoring centers of all kinds.
On the other hand, before I came here I had this idea of the American way of life where kids have fun at school, they try new activities and sports, and if they work hard (being on the team) and get good grades they go to college. Where did it all go?

I mean, I do think we are seeing the impact of certain hyper-competitive parenting approaches, some of which yes, were associated with some immigrant communities, and created a kind of race to the bottom. But it's also all spurred by this belief in socioeconomic mobility which makes people in the US (whether immigrants or not) believe that if they can just position their children appropriately, success and riches will follow. And this implies that if you don't position your kids correctly, failure and poverty could follow.

It seems like it's driven by opportunity but it's actually driven by fear of failure. It's capitalism run amok.

This person is signaling 2nd gen Indians

Indians are obsessed with the rat race from a very early age though

Yeah, all those travel teams for 6yos dominated by Indians

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out recently that my DS (9) is being bullied on the soccer field at school by a kid who has been told he’s good because he’s on a travel team. The state of youth sports is truly sad. Kids can’t even play pick up sports for fun and recreation now without fear of some arrogant kid bullying them for trying because that jerk of a kid has been fed some story that he’s the next Messi.

Sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s some kind of culture or attitude that’s been imported? I ask as an immigrant from Eastern Europe and many parents in my community are truly crazy about stuffing their kids with as many activities as possible. I know this community is not the only one like that. It creates and feeds the whole industry of tutoring centers of all kinds.
On the other hand, before I came here I had this idea of the American way of life where kids have fun at school, they try new activities and sports, and if they work hard (being on the team) and get good grades they go to college. Where did it all go?

I mean, I do think we are seeing the impact of certain hyper-competitive parenting approaches, some of which yes, were associated with some immigrant communities, and created a kind of race to the bottom. But it's also all spurred by this belief in socioeconomic mobility which makes people in the US (whether immigrants or not) believe that if they can just position their children appropriately, success and riches will follow. And this implies that if you don't position your kids correctly, failure and poverty could follow.

It seems like it's driven by opportunity but it's actually driven by fear of failure. It's capitalism run amok.

This person is signaling 2nd gen Indians

Indians are obsessed with the rat race from a very early age though

Yeah, all those travel teams for 6yos dominated by Indians

Think outside the box for once Jan. Indians focus on individual sports to avoid glsss ceilings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard. I hate hearing my ten year old say he is too old to try a new sport, but I hate even more than he is right.

No and you are an idiot

There is no reality we’re kids can not be good at a sport just because they did not start at 5 years old

Boys grow in MS and HS late

My son MCOS Division 1 college all dcums scream about started LAx 9 th grade

He is not the exception

Only idiots on dcum spend a fortune on travel teams

Harshly worded, but correct. You have no perspective if you only hang out with elementary schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out recently that my DS (9) is being bullied on the soccer field at school by a kid who has been told he’s good because he’s on a travel team. The state of youth sports is truly sad. Kids can’t even play pick up sports for fun and recreation now without fear of some arrogant kid bullying them for trying because that jerk of a kid has been fed some story that he’s the next Messi.

OP here- same with my kid. And that was my point. 8 year olds play pick up sports and bully kids who aren’t as good and not playing travel sports..