What happened to average kids? Where are they?

[Anonymous]

I have a nonathletic kid and they are nevertheless in several athletic activities so that they get enough exercise.

If there were neighborhood kids to run around with each afternoon the way kids did back during my childhood, that would be great, but there aren't (probably because they're all at their organized activities, athletic or otherwise).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until middle school. My older two are in 8th grade and at this point, most kids seem pretty average. Much more so than in elementary school..

I’d guess 3/4 of the kids we know (including one of my own kids) do not play any sport at a serious level- club/travel etc. Probably half have dropped all sports (gradual decline during middle school years) and no longer play an organized sport at all. There are some academic standouts, to be sure, but most of the kids are in a similar range. Many kids who were “standouts” in sports and/or academics in elementary school have fizzled and seem average now. Most kids are still in music/arts programs of some sort (band, orchestra, or chorus) but not many stand out there either.

The middle school years do tend to be odd, with kids’ changing interests and abilities. I do think things will change in high school, and many kids will find their niche eventually. However, I know very few kids in 8th grade who seem “exceptional” in any area.

UMC neighborhood/UMC public school

Study after study shows that about 70% of children who play organized sports in elementary school stop it by middle school or high school. Burnout is very real and I suspect that number will increase given how much earlier organized sports are played now and how intense and busy everything has recently become.

I think that many parents just sign little kids up for activities that work for them and what they think the child might enjoy. At around puberty they realize they just don’t like playing baseball or whatever. Makes sense most kids quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a nonathletic kid and they are nevertheless in several athletic activities so that they get enough exercise.

If there were neighborhood kids to run around with each afternoon the way kids did back during my childhood, that would be great, but there aren't (probably because they're all at their organized activities, athletic or otherwise).

This is a travesty and I believe the trend in less unstructured activity is leading to behavioral problems, anxiety, and over diagnosis of ADHD among other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until middle school. My older two are in 8th grade and at this point, most kids seem pretty average. Much more so than in elementary school..

I’d guess 3/4 of the kids we know (including one of my own kids) do not play any sport at a serious level- club/travel etc. Probably half have dropped all sports (gradual decline during middle school years) and no longer play an organized sport at all. There are some academic standouts, to be sure, but most of the kids are in a similar range. Many kids who were “standouts” in sports and/or academics in elementary school have fizzled and seem average now. Most kids are still in music/arts programs of some sort (band, orchestra, or chorus) but not many stand out there either.

The middle school years do tend to be odd, with kids’ changing interests and abilities. I do think things will change in high school, and many kids will find their niche eventually. However, I know very few kids in 8th grade who seem “exceptional” in any area.

UMC neighborhood/UMC public school

Study after study shows that about 70% of children who play organized sports in elementary school stop it by middle school or high school. Burnout is very real and I suspect that number will increase given how much earlier organized sports are played now and how intense and busy everything has recently become.

I think that many parents just sign little kids up for activities that work for them and what they think the child might enjoy. At around puberty they realize they just don’t like playing baseball or whatever. Makes sense most kids quit.

Ha this is way too reasonable and not nearly hysterical enough.

[Anonymous]

Cross Country and track don't have cuts and are good options for older kids that aren't competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cross Country and track don't have cuts and are good options for older kids that aren't competitive.

Also lacrosse rowing and fencing

[Anonymous]

You moved heaven and earth to pick a neighborhood where everyone is as competitive as you are and then you cry "no fair" when you cannot live up to your goals for your children.

Schools must be a 10, right?

You are venting based on your own worldview. There are plenty of average happy kids, but you won't see them because your glasses are tinted.

It's a You problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cross Country and track don't have cuts and are good options for older kids that aren't competitive.

I have heard that the “team culture” often is more supportive for school running teams - ore about self-improvement and less verbal backstabbing, DC likes to run, so we will be looking into Girls On The Run and similar groups…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard. I hate hearing my ten year old say he is too old to try a new sport, but I hate even more than he is right.

What??

I started taking ballet lessons at 28. No, I wasn't going to be a prima ballerina, but I could have fun, use my body, and learn something. Isn't that the point??

Exactly thank you. A relative started the cello in their 50s. They’re not Yo-Yo Ma but they play in their church orchestra. It makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard. I hate hearing my ten year old say he is too old to try a new sport, but I hate even more than he is right.

FYI: My 13yo tried wrestling for the first time this winter, and took 2nd at the end of season tournament.

Your 10yo may have a skill deficit in a new sport at first, but a positive attitude paired with athleticism (assuming he has that), he can quickly cover that gap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until middle school. My older two are in 8th grade and at this point, most kids seem pretty average. Much more so than in elementary school..

I’d guess 3/4 of the kids we know (including one of my own kids) do not play any sport at a serious level- club/travel etc. Probably half have dropped all sports (gradual decline during middle school years) and no longer play an organized sport at all. There are some academic standouts, to be sure, but most of the kids are in a similar range. Many kids who were “standouts” in sports and/or academics in elementary school have fizzled and seem average now. Most kids are still in music/arts programs of some sort (band, orchestra, or chorus) but not many stand out there either.

The middle school years do tend to be odd, with kids’ changing interests and abilities. I do think things will change in high school, and many kids will find their niche eventually. However, I know very few kids in 8th grade who seem “exceptional” in any area.

UMC neighborhood/UMC public school

I hope so.

Just got off the phone w someone out of state public school who was trying to tell us when we move to have our kids repeat their last grade no matter what.

Why? Because they need to stay kids longer and get ready for all their 5th grade map and placement tests for tracking for 6th grade. 6th grade is apparently tougher and more stressful than 6-9th grade due to tests, tracking and internal competition.

I said I don’t care. I’m not getting tutors for a nap or staar or erb test. F that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard. I hate hearing my ten year old say he is too old to try a new sport, but I hate even more than he is right.

What??

I started taking ballet lessons at 28. No, I wasn't going to be a prima ballerina, but I could have fun, use my body, and learn something. Isn't that the point??

I’m sorry but he’s right! My son is 14 years old and he cannot start on a sport now because every other kid has already been doing it for 10 years and since there are no other kids starting off, he would be the worst kid by far. There are no beginners and that makes it very hard for anybody wanting to start off. for example, my son can’t start on football right now, because everybody else is much more experience. I’m talking county rec teams and forget about high school football , there’s just no room for him on the team.

You don't play sports to be the best. When he finishes prealgebra there will be kids who've been doing algebra for 10 years by that point. Would that mean he'll be too old for algebra?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s some kind of culture or attitude that’s been imported? I ask as an immigrant from Eastern Europe and many parents in my community are truly crazy about stuffing their kids with as many activities as possible. I know this community is not the only one like that. It creates and feeds the whole industry of tutoring centers of all kinds.
On the other hand, before I came here I had this idea of the American way of life where kids have fun at school, they try new activities and sports, and if they work hard (being on the team) and get good grades they go to college. Where did it all go?

It's still true - any high school graduate can get into any nonselective college. The competition is all for the very top ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coach soccer and I would say 1/5 of my players are above average.

Well ya clearly don't coach the math team hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Sorry, I couldn't resist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A FCPS math teacher (not a teacher at our school) told us quietly that the top math kids all are being tutored, either at home by a STEM parent, or at AoPS, Kumon, Mathnasium, or RSM. We were very grateful she told us. She also said that math textbooks were replaced by less effective electronic materials, and encouraged us to at least buy appropriate math workbooks or download math worksheets for our DC to practice with at home.

I don’t know the others, but I would not consider AOPS as tutoring. It is more extension work. When I think of tutoring it is learning the material before it is officially taught in school so the kid looks super smart for picking it up so “quickly”

I agree. AOPS math is not tutoring. It is just more in depth and challenging work. It’s for kids like our DS where math is way too easy. It is definitely not the program for kids who are struggling in math or kids who need tutoring.

If the schools could provide appropriate rigor, depth, and challenge for these kids, they would not need AOPS.

Yes, it's tutoring. Maybe in another eight or ten years, you'll realize that.

The parents that push tutoring on their kids (bot of course, would never admit it) are doing their kids a disservice because their first (any job!) job will not have a tutor.

By that logic, you could say the parents who are satisfied with what's taught at school are doing their kids a disservice because their first (any) job won't come with a butt-in-seat class of 30 on how to do the job. This is clearly a bad, and frankly weird, argument.

Also, haven't you ever shown a junior employee the ropes?