Academic IEPs vs weak extra-curriculars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

You have the child you have, they have made their decisions, and you have made yours on how you will parent them. You have a result that is your own doing. THE END.

[Anonymous]

It’s not too let to get him the help that he needs for college and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Everyone: It's important to pursue outside activities, to show you have interests beyond the classroom and that you are well-rounded person.

OP's kid: I REFUSE!

OP: THIS IS NOT FAIR!

First of all, OP, your premise is garbage. If he is passionate about something he does alone in his room, that could work great. (The laundry list of "activities" does not look great on the app.( If he doesn't feel the need to explore this, he is lazy, not challenged.

Second, what do you expect an accommodation to be? The kids with IEPs have them to be able to achieve the same academically. YOU CAN GO WITH HIM to volunteer. A normal high school doesn't need that. That's an accommodation. Or did he get the laziness from you?

Third, why should colleges want a kid like yours? They can fill there class hundreds of times with the kids with the same academic profile.

Fourth, how nasty of you to denigrate IEP families. You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

Your kid has chosen to only do soccer. That is fine. But in reality, he most likely won't be a candidate for a T20-25 school, unless he is literally on the HS team, Travel/elite team and spending 20-30 hours per week with it, year round. Top schools are looking for the full package, and that includes volunteering, multiple ECs (unless you are pointy and dedicating 20+ hours to that activity year round), top GPA and SATs, and great essays. They want candidates that have the drive to be well rounded or very focuses on one or two ECs in depth. However he should get into many in the 30-75 range.
The fact that his friends have academic issues and have gotten accommodations is not relevant. Just be happy your kid is NT and does not have anxiety/depression/adhd/any LD---trust me most of those kids and parents would rather they not be burdened with this for their life and would happily change places with your NT kid.
FYI---life is not fair. The fact that your kid is NT and those kids are not is NOT fair. Yet they have to deal with this their entire lives, your kid just has to find the motivation to branch out and add extra activities (if they want to). Much easier for your kid IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

+1000

"Life isn't fair". Yeah, for the kids with lifelong disabilities it really isn't fair. All her kid needs to do is decide/get motivated to add more activities yet she's complaining about Non-NT kids getting the help they desperately need. Really sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

Severe prematurity is so debilitating. I’m very sorry that happened OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

No one gets that, even if they have an IEP. Those are not in the purview of FAPE.

+1 support for "building his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars" would be from working with a therapist (outside school) to address the anxiety that is limiting participation. Or, with a college counselor who could give a push toward certain activities or helping him shape ideas/action to do something unusual outside of school-based stuff.

My son has ADHD and never wanted to do school activities. But as parents we insisted he had to do something outside of videogames so he took guitar lessons and then started playing at church and took up running on his own.

Because that is what good parents do. And if your kid was so ridden with anxiety and couldn't do that, you would have likely gotten him therapy to help address the anxiety to be able to do it.

[Anonymous]

This is part of the S.W.E.A.T. pledge from the DD going into the Trades post. It may be helpful for you and DC to read this carefully and reflect upon it:

10. I believe that I am a product of my choices – not my circumstances. I will never blame anyone for my shortcomings or the challenges I face. And I will never accept the credit for something I didn’t do.

11. I understand the world is not fair, and I’m OK with that. I do not resent the success of others.

12. I believe that all people are created equal. I also believe that all people make choices. Some choose to be lazy. Some choose to sleep in. I choose to work my butt off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my junior is similar to yours. A solid student, good grades in rigorous classes, and plays soccer (a LOT). And that’s it. No jobs, no clubs, no volunteering. We’ve discussed how this will limit DC’s college options. And it may not really sink in until DC has some rejections in hand, but it’s been their decision. I can’t make this child be like their sibling who played sports and got great grades but also worked, volunteered and started a club and is now at a T50 college. I’m parenting the child I have, with accordant expectations about college prospects. And neither of us is pointing fingers or looking for scapegoats among their peers.

Actually you can. IF a kid is able to play sports (like the OP), then they are capable of volunteering or getting a job or joining a club. Much like when our kids were younger, we "required" them to be in 2 activities: 1 with an active focus (gymnastics, soccer, baseball, basketball, dance, karate, etc) and 1 with an art/music focus. We offered choices and let them pick, only rule was they had to stick with it for the time we signed up for (fall soccer season or a semester of piano classes). We let them switch and try new things out. We did this because we feel staying active and healthy is important and so is nurturing the arts/music side of the brain. But we let the kids pick what they wanted to do.

In MS/HS we encouraged them to volunteer and pick clubs/school activities. One went onto get their Blackbelt, one danced competitively for 8 years, both volunteered in different ways. One had a job the other was in multiple clubs at school. We let them pick what to do but we didn't want them just sitting at home all the time---we also knew that you need ECs for colleges, and believe in giving back to our community (we volunteer as well) so encouraged that.

Basically, being an involved citizen was part of how we raised our kids, if you start early they just learn to do it and want to (most of the time---they are teens so it's not always)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

It’s a little late now since he’s a rising senior and applications go in in a few months, but normally for a single subject person like this, you do volunteer and service opportunities in that subject. With soccer, for example, get involved in reffing, volunteering with the coach, and helping teach younger kids. Easier to create a coherent activity section and essay coming off of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

It’s a little late now since he’s a rising senior and applications go in in a few months, but normally for a single subject person like this, you do volunteer and service opportunities in that subject. With soccer, for example, get involved in reffing, volunteering with the coach, and helping teach younger kids. Easier to create a coherent activity section and essay coming off of that.

+1 and get a summer job at a soccer camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

It’s a little late now since he’s a rising senior and applications go in in a few months, but normally for a single subject person like this, you do volunteer and service opportunities in that subject. With soccer, for example, get involved in reffing, volunteering with the coach, and helping teach younger kids. Easier to create a coherent activity section and essay coming off of that.

+1 and get a summer job at a soccer camp.

What if he refuses? This is a type of weakness. Why can't he get some kind of exemption? So many other kids do and their conditions are "mild"! How is this fair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

Be a grown up and move this ableist discriminatory post to the special needs forum where you'll get what you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

How would you possibly know you ignoramus? I'm a mom of a child who has been accused of this from some of their acquaintances at school. They are slacker idiots who loved making fun of my kid but hated that my kid got accepted at colleges they could only dream about. Kid struggles at college but loves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

It’s a little late now since he’s a rising senior and applications go in in a few months, but normally for a single subject person like this, you do volunteer and service opportunities in that subject. With soccer, for example, get involved in reffing, volunteering with the coach, and helping teach younger kids. Easier to create a coherent activity section and essay coming off of that.

+1 and get a summer job at a soccer camp.

What if he refuses? This is a type of weakness. Why can't he get some kind of exemption? So many other kids do and their conditions are "mild"! How is this fair?

Apply to large schools since they are more score oriented. But just so you know, you sound crazy and he sounds lazy.