Academic IEPs vs weak extra-curriculars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

PP you replied to. No. Families need to fight to get IEPs for their children, OP. It’s expensive and resource-consuming for schools to provide IEP services: they are given only when absolutely necessary.

You are not privy to these students’ confidential health information. But having spent 18 years getting my child help and talking to other families who have had similar difficulties, I can tell you that the immense majority of students with IEPs really need these services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

You don't really know what another kid's needs are.

This! My 15yo looks from all appearances like everyone else. He works much harder than his peers. He asks for a lot of extra help at school and has tutors. He spent the first 6 years of his life in daily therapies and attended special preschool programs. I know lots of people think he is gaming the system because outwardly he looks like he is doing well and he doesn’t tell people about his diagnosis. Meanwhile, he has battled severe depression and anxiety due to the toll school takes on him and the realization that it will always be hard. He does have great ECs in ADDITION to working hard, not instead of it.

Don’t worry about the ECs. DD refused to do anything. She was accepted to UMD and another 8 schools. It sounds like your teen has anxiety and I’d focus on that. In my DD’s case, that was the culprit and still holds her back from making the most of her college experience.

[Anonymous]

Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

This was meant in response to 10:07

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think ordinary ECs matter as much as you think they do, especially for boys.

+1 What does he do outside of school? That's an "activity". Does he work in the summer? That goes on the list. My son's only in-school EC was occasionally working stage crew for theater productions. But he worked in the summers, played guitar on his own, golfed with grandfather. We volunteered as a family with our church so that went on the list. My DD was much more involved at school but also listed the time she spends drawing/painting since that is a big way she spends her time.

FWIW, DS applied only to big state schools and got in everywhere that he applied other than UVA (which was never happening just based on GPA/rigor so I don't know why he bothered). He's happy at VT and still not a joiner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is is fair for a kid with poor eyesight to be allowed to wear glasses? For a kid with asthma to take steroids? The accommodations you reference are to make it it fair for kids with specific disabilities so that they can access the curriculum and show their actual knowledge without the impediment of a disability.

You have no idea whether their issues are mild or not. Someone with more knowledge than you has determined that the accommodation was both necessary and fair.

This.

Also, OP, does your kid have some diagnosis that interferes with his ability to participate in other ECs? Doesn't seem so, so that indicates that it is his choice, not some type of disability. Seriously, you want to say that kids who get accommodations to try to be on a level playing field have it better than your kid? You really don't understand what it's like to have a disability.

Finally, all kids in MCPS could get free extra help this year through TutorMe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

DP. That is not a need and very near-sighted. The services kids with disabilities get aren't geared towards college admissions, they are for basic function.

Also ALL KIDS in MCPS were eligible for free tutoring this past year. Thise services were not just fir kids with iep and 504. Everyone could get free tutoring. So, what services are these kids really getting that is so advantageous that yours didn't?

Be grateful you have not had to deal with a disability and trying to get accommodation. It is way harder and more stressful than your myopic and trivial complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

Congrats to your son!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

NP here. OP, the PP said that in 12th grade their child was dropped down from an IEP to a 504. In other words, the system does *not* see him as "severe needs". I won't try to argue the system is perfect but school-based services are often grossly insufficient and kids with IEPs face challenges behind closed doors that you would never imagine. The grass really isn't greener on our side.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can’t get an IEP without severe needs. Do you even know what you’re talking about? Do you mean 504s? Your ignorance is insulting to those with kids who need accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Golfing with grandpa belongs on the Common App as an EC???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Golfing with grandpa belongs on the Common App as an EC???

The activity list can be ANYTHING you do outside of school. Schools want to understand how you spend your time. So, yeah, if you golf every weekend, that's an activity, no matter who you are doing it with. For my DD art is her stress relief. She's taken occasional classes over the years but she doesn't do it at school, doesn't enter competitions, it is purely for her. She listed it with the hour/day she spends on it in the CA with a comment that it was her "me time".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

You don’t know what you don’t know. Not all disabilities are seen. You are assuming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

So, what you actually want is for your kid to have a leg up on everyone else. I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and let's say my kid needs extra support to build his resume and pursue college-worthy extra-curriculars. Who pays for that? There are no MCPS funds or aides for that.

I'm the poster with the 18 year old ADHD/ASD son.

You do not understand where the line is. IEPs save students who would fail school without services and accommodations. Everything else is the parents' responsibility.

My child had an IEP until 12th grade. We spent thousands of dollars, OP, on neuropsychological evaluations and one-on-one tutors, to help our son understand his coursework. This was not on our public school to fix. It was on us. A neuropsych today at Stixrud's costs more than 5K. It's 8 hours of testing over two days. His specialized tutors cost $90/hr for writing and up to $350/hr for math (he also has dyscalculia, a specific learning disability in math).

We debated whether to hire the services of a private college counselor, specialized in learning disabilities, but ultimately decided it was too much and we could do the same ourselves. I helped him search for colleges, helped him figure out what he wanted to write in his essays, kept an eye on deadlines, sent his scores, reminded him to ask for letters of recommendations, checked his Common App for completion, filled out the FAFSA and CSS, etc...

All this is very often the parents' job. Where I live in Bethesda, every single student has a tutor at some point, either for remediation or acceleration or both. Every family helps their kid get ahead, in academics or extra-curriculars. Many families curate their children's list of extra-curriculars early on in elementary/middle school with a view to college admissions, since a lot of skills need to be built up for years to get to a recognized talent by high school: I will do this for my neurotypical younger child! This has nothing to do with special needs, but everything to do with the arms race that is our current college admissions system!

You have to do your job, OP. No one else is going to do for you. This has nothing to do with other students' disabilities and the services and accommodations that they were allowed to receive at school.