Academic IEPs vs weak extra-curriculars

[Anonymous]

My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

[Anonymous]

Talk of how your special needs child overcame

[Anonymous]

Is is fair for a kid with poor eyesight to be allowed to wear glasses? For a kid with asthma to take steroids? The accommodations you reference are to make it it fair for kids with specific disabilities so that they can access the curriculum and show their actual knowledge without the impediment of a disability.

You have no idea whether their issues are mild or not. Someone with more knowledge than you has determined that the accommodation was both necessary and fair.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think ordinary ECs matter as much as you think they do, especially for boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My junior son is smart, does his homework, cares about school, and has a 4.0+ GPA. However, he refuses to do any extra-curricular activities aside from soccer. I think it's a mental block, he is afraid of change and unpredictability. It's been an issue his whole life, and I've tried to push him but he refuses. Now that we're applying for colleges, I realize what a detriment this lack of extra-curriculars is to his applications. Meanwhile, he has friends who don't have the same mental block about ECs, but they do have exemptions at school because of various mild academic mental issues. They get extra time on tests, they get extensions on assignments, they get extra help paid for by MCPS. They have the same GPA as he does, but they also have the ECs. I don't think this is fair. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but some types of weakness receive extra school funding and institutional exemptions, while others don't. Can someone explain this to me how this is fair?

Really lady? THIS is the hill you came to die on?

The mind boggles.

[Anonymous]

My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like those people have helped their kids to overcome their challenges. What are you doing to help your son his fear of "change and unpredictability"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like those people have helped their kids to overcome their challenges. What are you doing to help your son his fear of "change and unpredictability"?

This is exactly right. These kids will continue to get accommodations in college, so that wouldn't bother the colleges at all.

[Anonymous]

Oh, it’s that time of year again. Time to bash kids with LDs and talk about how unfair it all is and how they should take their rightful place at the bottom of the class, no matter that they maybe highly intelligent but hve a few blind spots. I’m so over it. Those kids are likely not even competing for the same schools. And if they truly have IEPs still in 12th grade instead of 504a, they will likely struggle in college when that scaffolding is removed.

MYOB and take care of your own kid, who sounds like he could potentially have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My 12th grader had an IEP from K to 11th grade. Now he has a 504.

He was born a micro-preemie, had to endure hundreds of hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy, to learn to chew and swallow, hold items in his hands, walk and talk. He has severe ADHD, high-functioning autism, OCD, abysmally low processing speed, and has terrible fine and gross motor skills. He cannot drive safely, despite many hours of lessons, because he has little spatial awareness and a slow reaction time. And on top of that, he has anaphylactic allergies, asthma, sleep apnea and other medical issues.

And he is graduating high school next month! He is going to college! None of this would have been possible without 18 years of therapeutical interventions, medical treatments, school services and accommodations! His slow processing speed, autism and severe ADHD will handicap him for life. He will have a hard time finding and keeping jobs.

THIS is the sort of kid who gets an IEP. You wouldn't diagnose my son with all of these issues if you met him casually: he can look you in the eye briefly and say hi. Do you really think that your child, who has successfully gone through several years of school without failing and without services and accommodations, is functionally comparable to mine?

The mind boggles at the depth of your ignorance. Do you understand how your lack of knowledge makes you criticize a system that is actually fair?

I hope you learn from my post and never impugn students with IEPs again.

I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours.

You don't really know what another kid's needs are.

[Anonymous]

You just sound upset that other parents addressed their kid’s anxiety while you ignored your kid’s and made him suffer. (Rigidity and fear of change are common markers of unaddressed anxiety.)

[Anonymous]

"I am not talking about kids with severe needs. I am talking about families who are taking advantage of a system that was meant to help kids like yours."

You have no idea if what you say is true or not. It is a trope to claim that the kids who get accommodations are "taking advantage," and it is hurtful and insulting too. Stop perpetuating this lie, OP.

[Anonymous]

You are unhappy with what you perceive your sons' prospects to be (rightfully or wrongly, you really don't know right now). Show some character and don't go looking for a scapegoat in other children.

[Anonymous]

Cry some more about your special snowflake and how much he cares about school and does his homework. Guess what, kids with IEPs also care about school and do their homework.