My boyfriend does side work as a painter but telling me to hire someone to paint my house

[Anonymous]

He's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

OP the is that the things you do for him you give him freely as gifts. So you are hoping he would see this as a gift. Problem is you’re seeing it as an entitlement. Why are you doing his laundry, anyway? As a social worker you need better boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I would take this as a pretty big indication of how he felt about the relationship

This. The fact that they do have a sexual relationship matters. It changes things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We just had our house painted and it was about $12k. If he’s pulling another job out of his scedule to paint your house its probably costing him a lot of money plus all of the wear and cleanup required after your job.

+1

If he has a side hustle as a painter he probably also does not have much money. You are asking for a huge gift in terms of lost wages. He might have had a different response if you had said "I'm going to paint my house, do you think you could help me?"

It's a side job. He works in IT and has a 6-figure salary.

I’m in the minority here but it was tacky of you to ask him to paint for free. He’s obviously only doing it to make extra money and it’s not his profession, he may not even like it that much.

And the editing she does for him? Doing his laundry? Is that tacky as well? She said he does this because he likes it and doesn't need the money.

If she's doing it as some sort of barter situation she needed to be up front about that. You don't get to decide someone owes you something without a discussion beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Knowing how long it takes, that’s a huge ask. He’s a boyfriend, not a co owner of your house.

Op here. It would take a weekend to do it. He has spoken to me about doing stuff to my house. He says he enjoys it. It does ring me the wrong way. I do things for him all the time, not to mention how many blowjobs I have given him. He's a very lucky guy.

OK, Troll.

Op here. I will not go into too many details, but both of us are from a culture where sex outside of marriage is a big deal.

Girl. It can’t be that big of a deal if you threw it all away for a bald guy who won’t even spend a Saturday morning painting your living room for you? This is exactly why you have zero leverage!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are doctors and you are like the people who keep asking them for a free diagnosis.

Your parents wouldn’t give a free diagnosis to each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the is that the things you do for him you give him freely as gifts. So you are hoping he would see this as a gift. Problem is you’re seeing it as an entitlement. Why are you doing his laundry, anyway? As a social worker you need better boundaries.

She is freeing up his time by doing those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing how long it takes, that’s a huge ask. He’s a boyfriend, not a co owner of your house.

Op here. It would take a weekend to do it. He has spoken to me about doing stuff to my house. He says he enjoys it. It does ring me the wrong way. I do things for him all the time, not to mention how many blowjobs I have given him. He's a very lucky guy.

OK, Troll.

Op here. I will not go into too many details, but both of us are from a culture where sex outside of marriage is a big deal.

Girl. It can’t be that big of a deal if you threw it all away for a bald guy who won’t even spend a Saturday morning painting your living room for you? This is exactly why you have zero leverage!!!

+1. Sex with him must have been bad if you were willing to drop him for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing how long it takes, that’s a huge ask. He’s a boyfriend, not a co owner of your house.

Op here. It would take a weekend to do it. He has spoken to me about doing stuff to my house. He says he enjoys it. It does ring me the wrong way. I do things for him all the time, not to mention how many blowjobs I have given him. He's a very lucky guy.

OK, Troll.

Op here. I will not go into too many details, but both of us are from a culture where sex outside of marriage is a big deal.

Girl. It can’t be that big of a deal if you threw it all away for a bald guy who won’t even spend a Saturday morning painting your living room for you? This is exactly why you have zero leverage!!!

Op here, hahaha he hasn't always been bald. It's a new thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Knowing how long it takes, that’s a huge ask. He’s a boyfriend, not a co owner of your house.

Op here. It would take a weekend to do it. He has spoken to me about doing stuff to my house. He says he enjoys it. It does ring me the wrong way. I do things for him all the time, not to mention how many blowjobs I have given him. He's a very lucky guy.

OK, Troll.

Op here. I will not go into too many details, but both of us are from a culture where sex outside of marriage is a big deal.

Girl. It can’t be that big of a deal if you threw it all away for a bald guy who won’t even spend a Saturday morning painting your living room for you? This is exactly why you have zero leverage!!!

+1. Sex with him must have been bad if you were willing to drop him for that.

Op here. Actually, it has been really good. The best. This feels like the last straw. He has been telling me for year's he's going to stop doing side work so we can spend more time together. And I also worked it like can you help me with this so we can spend time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's extremely annoying when someone close to you presumes that you'd be willing to do your professional work for free, just based on your relationship.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's extremely annoying when someone close to you presumes that you'd be willing to do your professional work for free, just based on your relationship.

This right here.

Depends on the relationship. In this case, it's his girlfriend. Bald 40 year old can be annoyed but he won't have an easy time finding a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

If he's not at your house with his paint supplies by Saturday, the relationship has to go, OP. Be strong.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting how some people say he's not into her, and others think it's a big deal she even asked.

[Anonymous]

So much drama, OP! So dump him. Sounds like he’d be better off.