My boyfriend does side work as a painter but telling me to hire someone to paint my house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's extremely annoying when someone close to you presumes that you'd be willing to do your professional work for free, just based on your relationship.

This

[Anonymous]

I work as a tutor. I would be annoyed if a friend or boyfriend asked me to tutor their kid for free. But, I will help my own kids with their school work. The fact that he painted his own house does not mean that he will paint yours for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had our house painted and it was about $12k. If he’s pulling another job out of his scedule to paint your house its probably costing him a lot of money plus all of the wear and cleanup required after your job.

+1

If he has a side hustle as a painter he probably also does not have much money. You are asking for a huge gift in terms of lost wages. He might have had a different response if you had said "I'm going to paint my house, do you think you could help me?"

It's a side job. He works in IT and has a 6-figure salary.

It's his free time but he should be willing to do those two rooms for you at some point if he really loves you.

[Anonymous]

He’s smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I know exactly why he would not want you as a customer based solely on you running to DCUM with your drama. Do him a favor and dump him.

Yet you're here reading the same forum and participating.

[Anonymous]

Can I recommend you ask him to help you with this project? This is something you can do yourself, but will take longer. At least he could loan you paint supplies and give you some tips. I get he works in IT, but if this is his side gig, he is doing it for the money and working a weekend painting your place equals loss of income

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had our house painted and it was about $12k. If he’s pulling another job out of his scedule to paint your house its probably costing him a lot of money plus all of the wear and cleanup required after your job.

+1

If he has a side hustle as a painter he probably also does not have much money. You are asking for a huge gift in terms of lost wages. He might have had a different response if you had said "I'm going to paint my house, do you think you could help me?"

It's a side job. He works in IT and has a 6-figure salary.

It's his free time but he should be willing to do those two rooms for you at some point if he really loves you.

Op here. This is how I feel. I am seriously considering ending the relationship over this. I didn't give him a deadline. I said we could do it over Christmas break. English isn't he first language. I have done so much editing for him. I cook for him all the time. I do his laundry. I have done a lot of stuff for him, and I do it because I love him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work as a tutor. I would be annoyed if a friend or boyfriend asked me to tutor their kid for free. But, I will help my own kids with their school work. The fact that he painted his own house does not mean that he will paint yours for free.

She is his GIRLFRIEND. Nice guys will do stuff like help their girlfriends do handy work and paint jobs around the house.

OP, to me this makes me feel he's not that into you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe him. I didn't ask him to paint my whole house. Every weekend he does projects for other people. He's paid, obviously. When he said that, I asked if he was serious. I then told him to stop showing me all the work he does for other people. Other people who don't have sex with him. If I had a ton of money, it might be different, but I am a social worker.

Were you planning to pay?

[Anonymous]

Your vocation as a social worker is a very noble calling and society needs you. But you should accept that you won’t be able to afford some things sometimes.

I suggest putting aside a few bucks a month in your budget to save up for home improvement projects. This one is small enough that it’s not worth going into debt for.

Also, it sounds like your boyfriend is not that into you. But that’s why he’s just a boyfriend not a husband!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I recommend you ask him to help you with this project? This is something you can do yourself, but will take longer. At least he could loan you paint supplies and give you some tips. I get he works in IT, but if this is his side gig, he is doing it for the money and working a weekend painting your place equals loss of income

Op here. I don't want to do it myself. I understand a lot of people paint themselves but I have tried and it didn't go so well. I also have a child who would get in the way. I think the reason I am upset is that he has mentioned wanting to do stuff to my house, so it came as a shock when he said this. He has also mentioned one too many times that he wants to stop doing side work as it takes up too much of his free time. His is income is very high and his house is paid off. I think he's too obsessed with making money. When he's doing this work, it means less time we can spend together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as a tutor. I would be annoyed if a friend or boyfriend asked me to tutor their kid for free. But, I will help my own kids with their school work. The fact that he painted his own house does not mean that he will paint yours for free.

She is his GIRLFRIEND. Nice guys will do stuff like help their girlfriends do handy work and paint jobs around the house.

OP, to me this makes me feel he's not that into you

Op. Yes this is how it makes me feel! Now he won't stop calling me. He said he will hire someone to do it. I just can't get over this feeling. Very hard to shake.

[Anonymous]

Jerry Seinfeld couldn't get a massage from the professional masseuse he was dating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGuO2Ng3mwY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you mean exboyfriend?

Op here. Hahaha right! To clarify, it's my living and dining room—an open-concept townhouse.

I thought you meant the outside of your house! But the inside is super easy. You can paint two rooms yourself in no time.

[Anonymous]

Don't mix work and girlfriends. it's a thing. Google it.