Most young men are single - most young women are not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering most college students are women and most college drop outs are men, I don't really expect to see this reverse any time soon. Most of the jobs that men fell back to are becoming automated so that they need fewer humans doing the same amount of work.

At this point, I think it might be prudent to figure out a solution to these problems. Maybe start all boys in Kindergarten at 6 or 7 instead of 5 or 6. Then by the time they reach college they can actually be mature enough to complete it.

I don't think one year is going to make a difference for a man to complete a college degree or not. They can also go to college much later in life when they are ready.

From a socializing perspective, it's the phones and computers. It's so easy now for boys to lose themselves in cyberspace and only interact with people in that space. We saw just how easy that was during the pandemic.

I think it would help if schools had a no phone policy.

Young women have decided that they would rather stay single in their youth than be with a man who doesn't meet their criteria. Women are ok with that because they have a strong social circle and can get their social/emotional needs met there. Young men don't have that. That's why they are floundering. We need to teach them to cultivate friendships. Men who are outgoing, great personality, kind but don't have a degree are still a decent catch, and a lot of women will be attracted to them. But, men who are socially awkward, not mature and don't have a degree? They are sol.

My son tells me that the 'me too' movement has put social interaction on ice. Young men are afraid to ask women out because they are risking being 'me too'd', that's why they do it through apps. They are scared that women will react badly if they approach them in person. My DH asked me out several times and I turned him down several times, he was persistent, young men can't do that now.

Many traditional expressions of masculinity are now deemed "toxic" and socially verboten. Yet women still want to rely on those traditional notions when it benefits them.

I had a girl who expected me to "persist" in that manner, and was frustrated when I did not...despite the fact that she gave no expressions of interest, no signs, no flirtation or expressions of any desire. I was just supposed to know, assume the risk and push through her boundaries and keep pushing.

What a time to be alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, we've moved from "what about the boys?" to "what about the men?"

Men just need to nut up. This is pathetic.

This is the way! More of this!

Enjoy having your rights stripped away by men being told to nut up into toxic masculinity and vote for f'ing fascists.

Aren't women the majority of voters now? It's under control.

[Anonymous]

I blame Andrew Tate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blame Andrew Tate.

Dig deeper. This stuff way predates Andrew Tate, who is just a symptom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that articles like these always frame the issue as some deficiency or failing with men, whereas when a demographic trend is unfavorable for women it is usually externalized, attributed to some outside force or...blamed on men again.

We need to start being honest about how held-preferences, individual action and societal forces are combining to foment these trends.

It's easy to just resort to bludgeoning men, but I don't think it's the answer long term.

I do think the answer is with men. My dh was raised by his parents to be a full partner: work, cook, clean, love children, remember holidays. So many men just weren't. They basically think all they need to do is get a job. Showing up doesn't count anymore for men. Women do it all and men need to step up. I'm raising my sons to do better.

I have both sons and daughters and I also think schools play a role. They are geared towards girls who sit better and don't need as much activity.

I'm all for men pulling their weight, but I don't think this is the real source of the disparity. In high school and college, girls and women were *always* dating the older guys. It was almost never the reverse. At that age, it's not because the dudes are "full partners." It's because they have higher social status, more money, more confidence, maybe a better physical build. I hate the red pill stuff, but one of the nuggets of truth that they hook people with is that young women have a lot more options with respect to sex and relationships at that age than young men. And it's reflected in these statistics.

When women complain about power dynamics, they're usually looking at society as a whole where middle age and older men absolutely have startling advantages and privileges not enjoyed nearly as much by women; especially in the upper classes. But a lot of the real problems caused by men are caused specifically by younger men. That's who commits the lion's share of the violence and pack our jails. I don't know that there's any way to make them more attractive to women their own age, but society definitely has an interest in finding ways to engage them as productive, respected members of the community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that articles like these always frame the issue as some deficiency or failing with men, whereas when a demographic trend is unfavorable for women it is usually externalized, attributed to some outside force or...blamed on men again.

We need to start being honest about how held-preferences, individual action and societal forces are combining to foment these trends.

It's easy to just resort to bludgeoning men, but I don't think it's the answer long term.

I do think the answer is with men. My dh was raised by his parents to be a full partner: work, cook, clean, love children, remember holidays. So many men just weren't. They basically think all they need to do is get a job. Showing up doesn't count anymore for men. Women do it all and men need to step up. I'm raising my sons to do better.

I have both sons and daughters and I also think schools play a role. They are geared towards girls who sit better and don't need as much activity.

I'm all for men pulling their weight, but I don't think this is the real source of the disparity. In high school and college, girls and women were *always* dating the older guys. It was almost never the reverse. At that age, it's not because the dudes are "full partners." It's because they have higher social status, more money, more confidence, maybe a better physical build. I hate the red pill stuff, but one of the nuggets of truth that they hook people with is that young women have a lot more options with respect to sex and relationships at that age than young men. And it's reflected in these statistics.

When women complain about power dynamics, they're usually looking at society as a whole where middle age and older men absolutely have startling advantages and privileges not enjoyed nearly as much by women; especially in the upper classes. But a lot of the real problems caused by men are caused specifically by younger men. That's who commits the lion's share of the violence and pack our jails. I don't know that there's any way to make them more attractive to women their own age, but society definitely has an interest in finding ways to engage them as productive, respected members of the community.

Taylor Swift's song Fifteen pretty much sums this up.

It's your freshman year
And you're gonna be here for the next four years
In this town
Hoping one of those senior boys
Will wink at you and say, "you know I haven't seen you around, before"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all for supporting women and encouraging them to be leaders. However, I hate what we are doing in society today, forgetting about the boys and younger men sometimes. The old white guys seem to women out in the old generation. But they are different than the young males who are struggling right now.

In my company (in a field that was formerly considered male dominant), 65% of the leadership is women. We were told specifically to promote women into these positions, and once the women are in they continue to push other women into leadership positions. It's like the good old boys network except the other direction.

You think this is a bad thing?

I am not sure if it is a bad thing. I don't think it's a good thing, in my opinion. It isn't because the men are less qualified, per se, to be in leadership positions. I think when decisions are made base on gender, race, sexual preference, then it can become an issue. Ensuring there is diversity versus seeing the pendulum swing a bit too far can also have negative effects. That said, I worry less about the older generation than I am of the younger one. I wouldn't want my DD to grow up where a large swarth of the population is incompetent, whether it is male of female. It's going to be a burden on society and it's helpful to identify where we can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm, how can half of the dating pool be single and the other half not? Sounds more like a difference in how young men and women define single? LOL

Prior posters have explained the math: 1) women are dating older men; 2) women are dating each other whereas men are not dating each other as frequently; 3) multiple women are dating the same man; and 4) they have different definitions or perceptions where a woman says she's in a relationship with the man but the man doesn't say he's in a relationship with the woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought two-thirds of teenage girls were suicidal? I wonder if maybe these phenomena the press keeps reporting are overblown or inaccurate.

One-third of teen girls are depressed and have contemplated suicide.

As of 2022, Pew Research Center found, 30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner nor engaged in a committed relationship. Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men.

Lol.

Survey: Are you in a relationship?

Her: Of course! He isn’t as attentive as he needs to be, and he forgot Valentine’s Day, and he doesn’t meet all of my needs, but we’re working through it.

Him: Nah.

It’s this. Different answers to “are you in a committed relationship?”.

Exactly....and my guess is in some cases, there are multiple women who think they are "in a committed relationship" with the same man. And he thinks he is single.

[Anonymous]

What's new? Isn't this much of human history? Men had multiple wives and/or younger wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, we've moved from "what about the boys?" to "what about the men?"

Men just need to nut up. This is pathetic.

This is the way! More of this!

Enjoy having your rights stripped away by men being told to nut up into toxic masculinity and vote for f'ing fascists.

Who's oppressing whom?

To digest this fully, it looks as if women will soon rule the world and have the men under their thumbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's new? Isn't this much of human history? Men had multiple wives and/or younger wives.

There is something to this, but much of human history also had much more dangerous living conditions and kinetic/deadly warfare to cull the excess men and keep things stable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's new? Isn't this much of human history? Men had multiple wives and/or younger wives.

And those societies killed off the excess unattached young men in violent wars.

Hmm.

[Anonymous]

You should read the original report. The Hill article is sloppy as shown by the number quoted.

When looking at age and gender together, 63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single, compared with 34% of women in the same age group. Younger men are also far more likely than older men to be single – a pattern that is not as straightforward among women. Women ages 18 to 29, for example, are just as likely as women 65 and older to report being single…

Among Americans who are single, the largest share – 57% – say they are not currently looking for a relationship or casual dates. (In a February 2022 Center survey, single adults who were not looking for a relationship or dates identified a variety of reasons as to why, but enjoying being single and having other priorities topped the list.)

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/

63% of men(18-30 years old) describe themselves as single. They could be in a casual relationship or a relationship but not married. Many people define single as not married. Of that number 57% say they are not looking for a relationship or casual dates. These numbers are meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's new? Isn't this much of human history? Men had multiple wives and/or younger wives.

There is something to this, but much of human history also had much more dangerous living conditions and kinetic/deadly warfare to cull the excess men and keep things stable.

+1

Women that can't find work or finish college can still find a partner. Women that can't find a partner aren't really seen as threatening.

Large groups of unattached males without work or a relationship are generally seen as threatening. Men concentrating themselves into toxic group think culture with leaders like Tate or straight up incel groups are seen as threatening to society in general.