The opposite of overscheduled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids are in activities. Older two are in 3 (total of 5 days a week because two activities are twice a week) and youngest has only 1 (he is almost 4).

They ask to do other things but change every week or two. I know them and will not allow sullo activities for a month or two that are not serious sports or language school. Might do music in the future, but none of them asked for it.

My kids (older ones) are in serious sports were they will be competing soon.
I will not waste my (finite) money to sign them up for aftercare activities (that are a waste of money) or silly sports that I know my kids won’t like after the first class.

Maybe those parents know their kids better than you and know that the activities the kids want to do are not for them or worth their money.

Or maybe the kids would choose to participate but their parents aren’t willing. We really don’t know.

[Anonymous]

My kids did very few activities during the time I was dealing with a life threatening health crisis. Between work and medical appointments, I was just exhausted at the end of the day and didn't have the bandwidth to run my kids around to activities. I also was worried that I may not survive and wanted to make the most of the family memories I could. So we spent our evenings playing legos or board games as a family and that sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids are in activities. Older two are in 3 (total of 5 days a week because two activities are twice a week) and youngest has only 1 (he is almost 4).

They ask to do other things but change every week or two. I know them and will not allow sullo activities for a month or two that are not serious sports or language school. Might do music in the future, but none of them asked for it.

My kids (older ones) are in serious sports were they will be competing soon.
I will not waste my (finite) money to sign them up for aftercare activities (that are a waste of money) or silly sports that I know my kids won’t like after the first class.

Maybe those parents know their kids better than you and know that the activities the kids want to do are not for them or worth their money.

Or maybe the kids would choose to participate but their parents aren’t willing. We really don’t know.

Sure, the point is that she has no idea either and should not judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3 kids are in activities. Older two are in 3 (total of 5 days a week because two activities are twice a week) and youngest has only 1 (he is almost 4).

They ask to do other things but change every week or two. I know them and will not allow sullo activities for a month or two that are not serious sports or language school. Might do music in the future, but none of them asked for it.

My kids (older ones) are in serious sports were they will be competing soon.
I will not waste my (finite) money to sign them up for aftercare activities (that are a waste of money) or silly sports that I know my kids won’t like after the first class.

Maybe those parents know their kids better than you and know that the activities the kids want to do are not for them or worth their money.

Or maybe the kids would choose to participate but their parents aren’t willing. We really don’t know.

Sure, the point is that she has no idea either and should not judge.

Agree

[Anonymous]

So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

Is there really such a thing as underscheduled? What does that even mean? I think that it's far more detrimental for kids to be overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

When my kids younger elementary they hardly did any activities. Maybe once a week gymnastics/basketball/soccer - but all rec. Nothing competitive. They did play dates and played at home with each other. Upper elementary- they did 2x a week sport, also rec. Middle school is when it ramped up for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

Is there really such a thing as underscheduled? What does that even mean? I think that it's far more detrimental for kids to be overscheduled.

+1 there is no such thing as 'underscheduled' if the child does some form of schooling other than unschooling, and the vast majority of kids go to school. school is plenty demanding for many children. underscheduled is just a term made up by overscheduling parents to make themselves feel better about stealing all their kids' free time.

[Anonymous]

Activities is how screen time requests are managed by many many parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I explicitly stated that these are parents with plenty of money and time. I didn't ask about kids with special needs since these kids don't have any. These are kids that are ASKING repeatedly to do certain activities. These happen to be activities that neither parent has the skills to teach and I see them often enough to know that there isn't some other version of these activities taking place at home. Please stop answering questions I didn't ask and discussing situations I didn't ask about.

Age ranges are elementary and middle school.

Please stop butting into other people's lives. You sound insane. You are on a parenting forum. Do you not have your own children to attend to???

huh? the whole point of a parenting forum is to discuss stuff like this. those currently attending to their kids are not on DCUM.

A parenting forum is not for gossiping about people you know to anonymous strangers to confirm your opinions, although many choose to use it that way.

[Anonymous]

Are these your nieces/nephews?

If you really know them well enough to know that the kids are repeatedly begging, parents do have the time and money, then -- particularly at those older ages -- that's, well, not so great of the parents to deny them at least one activity. Maybe they (the parents) are depressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

Is there really such a thing as underscheduled? What does that even mean? I think that it's far more detrimental for kids to be overscheduled.

+1 there is no such thing as 'underscheduled' if the child does some form of schooling other than unschooling, and the vast majority of kids go to school. school is plenty demanding for many children. underscheduled is just a term made up by overscheduling parents to make themselves feel better about stealing all their kids' free time.

Yeah, summer is the one time where I could see there being a such thing as "underscheduled." Most kids need activities or camps of some kind in the summer to avoid sitting around and watching TV all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

Is there really such a thing as underscheduled? What does that even mean? I think that it's far more detrimental for kids to be overscheduled.

Yes I think kids can be under scheduled but it’s going to depend on the neighborhood (are there kids around?), the age (middle school kids need more than younger elementary) and what’s offered at that particular school (athletics, instruments, art).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So UMC parents fall into two categories in my observations: Majority are those that do a ton a ton of enrichment and activists, because they believe it will keep their child engaged and accelerated. Then there is the other category that does the opposite. Sort of like the free range parent, unschool philosophy, or just let them be humans. They don’t schedule things because they want (hope) their kinds will follow whatever interests them in their house and come up with creative ways to use their time.

There are parents who overschedule and parents who underschedule. Some come at it from a healthy perspective and some don’t, on either side. For every parent wanting to keep a child engaged and thrive, there is another who craves family time and creativity. On the flip side, there are parents who can’t be bothered or put their own priorities’ first, on either side.

Is there really such a thing as underscheduled? What does that even mean? I think that it's far more detrimental for kids to be overscheduled.

+1 there is no such thing as 'underscheduled' if the child does some form of schooling other than unschooling, and the vast majority of kids go to school. school is plenty demanding for many children. underscheduled is just a term made up by overscheduling parents to make themselves feel better about stealing all their kids' free time.

Yeah, summer is the one time where I could see there being a such thing as "underscheduled." Most kids need activities or camps of some kind in the summer to avoid sitting around and watching TV all day.

My parents couldn’t afford camps and I distinctly remember some summers spent watching tv. It was very isolating and boring.