High School Boys Struggling at our Big 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh the irony! Maybe you can talk to parents of girls or people of color to see how they have endured being made to feel less than productive positive contributors in this country.

EXACTLY

Men are now moving into women's sports - and you dont think there is anything to talk about? Nothing ? Not one thing?
It freaking is toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats the Big 3?

No one knows. It's an ambiguous way to refer to three unknown independent schools used by the parents of students to make them feel good about their choice. It's undefined so it can be used by everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh the irony! Maybe you can talk to parents of girls or people of color to see how they have endured being made to feel less than productive positive contributors in this country.

EXACTLY

Men are now moving into women's sports - and you dont think there is anything to talk about? Nothing ? Not one thing?
It freaking is toxic.

Yes, telling an individual that they are a less valuable person just because of their gender or race is wrong. Don’t you agree?

Irony right back atcha.

[Anonymous]

The traditionally liberal elite private schools have all become exceedingly woke, everywhere in the US. I'm a graduate of such a school and have watched the school evolve from liberal but open minded to progressive and somewhat open minded to woke and ideological. You must understand that once an institution becomes ideological, there's no changing it. Because it's run and populated by people who believe in the ideology. There is no compromise because how can you compromise on what you think is righteous and just? It's the same mindset behind the editor of the WaPo rambling about moving beyond objectivity to a better.. whatever.

You can complain about the seminar but this thinking will be taught and encouraged by the faculty everywhere in the other classes. Even in once objective subjects like math and science. Ideology, like all ideology, becomes a disease. Eventually, hopefully, it will burn itself out but it won't happen in the next few years. It usually takes decades. New board, new head, new faculty, different parents.

It's for this reason that people like me and many of my old classmates are no longer impressed by fancy name elite schools or colleges that we'd attended and hoped our children would attend. There are other schools, however. You have to decide whether to put up with this thinking and be in an environment where you will be constantly opposed to what the school, the faculty and many if not most students deeply believe in, or simply pull your child out and go elsewhere. There are other options in the DC area that are more balanced and more like what schools were in the past and don't treat objectivity or different viewpoints as a bad word.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the topic is fine, but the execution is weak, even toxic. OP, are teachers are failing to guide the discussion and redirect/rephrase the students who are making the inappropriate over-generalizations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are liberal democrats who chose STA for this reason. We wanted academics, not politics.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

Seems to me that teens are generally very adept at recognizing and capitalizing on social dynamics. When they are placed in an environment where they gain more power and higher status by reiterating the same views about "toxic masculinity," or "systemic racism," or "intersectionality," they have very little incentive to do anything other than double down on that rhetoric, unless and until someone challenges them to advance the dialogue.

It sounds what is happening here is that the dialogue isn't advancing; instead, you have various people (teachers, female students, POCs, white males) who by now know what their assigned roles are in this particular passion play. In the case of the white male students, they get two options: (1) disengage and gripe about it privately or (2) become full-fledged "allies." The latter is risky, because the second the white boys start warming to the task, they run the risk of being accused of "mansplaining" (or its teenage variant) and quite possibly told that it's their responsibility to listen to the "lived experiences" of others, and follow, not lead.

Personally, I'd reach out to the teacher(s) and just ask them for their perspective on what's happening in the classroom, and how they see themselves advancing the classroom discussions in ways that actually engage and challenge all the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The traditionally liberal elite private schools have all become exceedingly woke, everywhere in the US. I'm a graduate of such a school and have watched the school evolve from liberal but open minded to progressive and somewhat open minded to woke and ideological. You must understand that once an institution becomes ideological, there's no changing it. Because it's run and populated by people who believe in the ideology. There is no compromise because how can you compromise on what you think is righteous and just? It's the same mindset behind the editor of the WaPo rambling about moving beyond objectivity to a better.. whatever.

You can complain about the seminar but this thinking will be taught and encouraged by the faculty everywhere in the other classes. Even in once objective subjects like math and science. Ideology, like all ideology, becomes a disease. Eventually, hopefully, it will burn itself out but it won't happen in the next few years. It usually takes decades. New board, new head, new faculty, different parents.

It's for this reason that people like me and many of my old classmates are no longer impressed by fancy name elite schools or colleges that we'd attended and hoped our children would attend. There are other schools, however. You have to decide whether to put up with this thinking and be in an environment where you will be constantly opposed to what the school, the faculty and many if not most students deeply believe in, or simply pull your child out and go elsewhere. There are other options in the DC area that are more balanced and more like what schools were in the past and don't treat objectivity or different viewpoints as a bad word.

+1 Spouse and I both went to private schools in DC and now have kids in them and we feel and think very much this way too.

GDS was once upon a time very liberal but not ideological private school. It was a great school. I am sure it is still a great school by many peoples measure but it has changed. It’s gone from liberal to ideological. It is the right fit for some but we will not consider it in its current state for this reason. I realize this doesn’t matter because the right people will apply for the schools that are right for their families. My point is just that it has changed a lot. It preaches a specific way of thinking and defining (ironically) versus creating a safe space for true conversation, introspection and critical thinking to occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are liberal democrats who chose STA for this reason. We wanted academics, not politics.

+1 agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

Why shouldn’t white men be judged based on being born white? Women are judged for being women and their shortcomings are defined by “not maleness” and minorities are judged by the color of their skin or not having an American accent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

Why shouldn’t white men be judged based on being born white? Women are judged for being women and their shortcomings are defined by “not maleness” and minorities are judged by the color of their skin or not having an American accent.

So two wrongs make a right? Why can’t people be judged for who THEY are not what group they belong to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

Why shouldn’t white men be judged based on being born white? Women are judged for being women and their shortcomings are defined by “not maleness” and minorities are judged by the color of their skin or not having an American accent.

So two wrongs make a right? Why can’t people be judged for who THEY are not what group they belong to?

Perhaps a taste of the wrong will spur genuine taste for change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are liberal democrats who chose STA for this reason. We wanted academics, not politics.

+1 agree

We are also liberal Democrats, and STA is less crazy than GDS or Sidwell. Let’s not pretend it’s a politically neutral paradise tho. STA has MAGAts and CCC stasi who are barely kept in check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

Why shouldn’t white men be judged based on being born white? Women are judged for being women and their shortcomings are defined by “not maleness” and minorities are judged by the color of their skin or not having an American accent.

So two wrongs make a right? Why can’t people be judged for who THEY are not what group they belong to?

Perhaps a taste of the wrong will spur genuine taste for change.

Strange bedfellows you have. How does that feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are liberal democrats who chose STA for this reason. We wanted academics, not politics.

+1 agree

We are also liberal Democrats, and STA is less crazy than GDS or Sidwell. Let’s not pretend it’s a politically neutral paradise tho. STA has MAGAts and CCC stasi who are barely kept in check.

The school itself is apolitical. That's what we care about.