High School Boys Struggling at our Big 3

[Anonymous]

You can complain, but that's probably not going to do anything, and there is a risk that it will increase the chance the mob will turn on your kid.

Get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our big 3, 9th graders have a seminar class where topical issues are discussed.

According to my kid, every session degrades into why men/toxic masculinity is the core #1 thing wrong with the world. Teachers do nothing to stop this. The conversation degrades to 20 minutes of such informed debate as "men should be banned from running companies, cities, holding public office"

We chose this school. It's known for its stances. But if one was to try to devise the most effective way to turn off boys n a classroom from learning and cause backlash, this would be it. Our school is known for protecting students with "safe speech" around topics like the holocaust, racism etc but yet that does not apply here for some reason. I also dont like safety-ism so I dont want to lean on that argument if I go to the scvhool

What advice do you all have for a parent worried about this dynamic and in particular the wholesale accusations against men and boys as harming boys in the classroom? Go to the teacher or up to admin?

This is a serious post and I beg that the mods not remove this thread

Looks like you sent you son to the wrong school. You I should be worried about his grades, subjects he is learning, what friendships he has. For you to pay 50k for a school that makes him feel like he is guilty of all things and he is a social problem, is amazing you are putting up with that!!!!!

[Anonymous]

If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

[Anonymous]

This IS a subject he is “learning,” at the opportunity cost of not taking other classes too.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, two way swing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

When I read OP’s post the first thing that popped up in my mind was “this has got to be GDS”.

I don’t know if it actually is but whatever school is teaching this way is not engaging in thoughtful discussion or critical thinking for the students. Some institutions seem to have confused conviction with conversation.

I initially thought that too, but OP made a point of mentioning that it was a "Big 3" school, so it obviously can't be GDS.

lol - you got me. Yes it is GDS

GDS has ironically gotten completely out of touch with the gender curriculum in pursuit of being in touch. I am genuinely unclear if they are the best of the best of the worst of the worst in regards to what is going on in our country and education right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our big 3, 9th graders have a seminar class where topical issues are discussed.

According to my kid, every session degrades into why men/toxic masculinity is the core #1 thing wrong with the world. Teachers do nothing to stop this. The conversation degrades to 20 minutes of such informed debate as "men should be banned from running companies, cities, holding public office"

We chose this school. It's known for its stances. But if one was to try to devise the most effective way to turn off boys n a classroom from learning and cause backlash, this would be it. Our school is known for protecting students with "safe speech" around topics like the holocaust, racism etc but yet that does not apply here for some reason. I also dont like safety-ism so I dont want to lean on that argument if I go to the scvhool

What advice do you all have for a parent worried about this dynamic and in particular the wholesale accusations against men and boys as harming boys in the classroom? Go to the teacher or up to admin?

This is a serious post and I beg that the mods not remove this thread

This is your interpretation of what your son is reporting. If you want to know more, request a meeting with the teacher with the goal of genuinely learning what's happening in the classroom. Ask questions and listen to the answers. If you're still not happy, I would talk to your son's advisor and after that the 9th grade dean. But first be sure of what's going on. Ninth graders are not always accurate reporters, and like people of all ages, they don't necessarily respond well to the questioning of their privilege.

In addition, the most effective thing you could perhaps do is role play these conversations with your son. Help him think through good responses that distinguish between maleness and toxic masculinity. Empower him to solve the problem on his own.

Why would you think for a moment that the teach is a better reporter of what is going on in the classroom than the student? Innate bias is showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

Your son sounds like a great kid but I will point out at least according to op the kids are routinely saying “men shouldn’t be able to [have some desirable or powerful position]” not “toxic, sexist men…” I know what they mean and where they are coming from but op’s kid is a 14 year old at a new school and I’m not surprised that doesn’t feel great to an unsophisticated possibly lonely kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

At my college they had segregated classes for DEI. UMR where in one session and all “Whites” were in another section called “Unpacking Whitenss”. You can guess the school as is in the Boston area… basically the Unpacking whistles class basically taught that all whites are oppressors, have white privileged, and everything we do is destructive to society. And historical bad deeds we did are the root problem. Funny as I was born In another country and had nothing to do with systemic racism here.

In addition, being Jewish I’m am also listed as an “oppressed” class but since I’m white, I’m also and oppressor? Hmmmm

And coming from a former Soviet republic, being Jewish you were discriminated on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

We are liberal democrats who chose STA for this reason. We wanted academics, not politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

When I read OP’s post the first thing that popped up in my mind was “this has got to be GDS”.

I don’t know if it actually is but whatever school is teaching this way is not engaging in thoughtful discussion or critical thinking for the students. Some institutions seem to have confused conviction with conversation.

I initially thought that too, but OP made a point of mentioning that it was a "Big 3" school, so it obviously can't be GDS.

lol - you got me. Yes it is GDS

I would suggest that the child of anyone who feels it necessary to describe their school - whatever school it is - as a "Big 3" when that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand probably could use a healthy dose of the humility this class provides. Perhaps Mom or Dad could sit in as well?

[Anonymous]

Whats the Big 3?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

All of what you wrote may indeed have nothing to do with what is being presented in class and how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a white male child, why would you ever send him to a school that makes them feel “white guilt” or they are a “male oppressor” as a 14 year old boy! All you parents that send your kids to these woke schools deserve what you are getting!

I send my white male child to a school that is explicitly pro-equity and inclusion. He doesn't feel white guilt. Why should he feel guilty about learning about systemic racism? He didn't create it! And he sure as heck doesn't want to be a part of it. He chooses to be part of the solution, not stick his head in the sand. He feels courageous and helpful and kind, not guilty. And no, he doesn't feel like a "male oppressor." He feels like a young man who sees women as equals, and recognizes that men AND women have been dealt a crappy hand by sexism. He sees what a limited range of emotions his dad was allowed to feel growing up, and how he is now teaching his dad how to be a more open and emotionally aware man. Its really sweet, and they really adore each other. And he sees that women have been excluded from power for oh, the last thousand years or so, and that correcting that may take a minute.

There is no guilt, no shame, and no disempowerment in any of that. I find it so odd that people think that recognizing oppression means you have to identify with the oppressors just because you happen to share their skin color or gender. Why would you do that?

That’s nice and good for him. But unfortunately regardless of how he feels, he will be judged by others and UMR as part of the problem. He will never be accepted and always looked negatively at for having white privilege. Your son will have to constantly virtue signal to fit in and will still be seen a part of the problem no matter how much he feels he is not.

At my college they had segregated classes for DEI. UMR where in one session and all “Whites” were in another section called “Unpacking Whitenss”. You can guess the school as is in the Boston area… basically the Unpacking whistles class basically taught that all whites are oppressors, have white privileged, and everything we do is destructive to society. And historical bad deeds we did are the root problem. Funny as I was born In another country and had nothing to do with systemic racism here.

In addition, being Jewish I’m am also listed as an “oppressed” class but since I’m white, I’m also and oppressor? Hmmmm

And coming from a former Soviet republic, being Jewish you were discriminated on a daily basis.

You could really benefit from the GDS curriculum, not just intellectually but emotionally, if you were willing to listen with an open mind.