High School Boys Struggling at our Big 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it OP.

We’re from out of state during Covid and have a good dialog with our teens, this tone and school content really stuck out to them too. And us. Check out the handouts and authors of the sheets to better understand who’s generating this.

very good idea. Feels like I need to dig in. I also appreciate other inputs on this thread from other respondents.

I would just register these concerns with the HoS, he’s heard them all before and maybe once the quantity gets frequent and high enough he and the board will do something.
But tell your son to be proud of who he is and that college and the real world will be better than this bubble. And to just ignore most of it, it’s a product of the a small minority of the times that’s been allowed in to k-12 schooling after doing the same at many colleges.

very good advice. Thank you. Glad I'm not alone in this experience.

hard to ignore when it's for a whole 9th grade year! That's a bit much

[Anonymous]

That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your son think about it?

My son is at a very liberal and progressive school, and I can imagine similar conversations. But he agrees toxic masculinity is a problem, and he rejects it. He wants to be a different kind of man. So dissing toxic masculinity doesn’t hurt him - he rejects it too!

Hopefully he feels able in these conversations to say “hey, excluding men doesn’t feel like the right solution to toxic masculinity in the workplace. What if more men were xyz?” Or whatever he believes would help the world be a better place.

I think often when people who are part of demographic groups that have historically oppressed others hear criticism of oppression they feel targeted, but that’s kind of warped. I’m white, but I can reject white supremacy and identify with people dismantling it. Your son doesn’t have to identify with toxic masculinity - why would he want to?

That’s all fine for ones inner monologue, but has nothing to do with others biased rant sessions. You want an ideological emotional personal argument once a day in class with someone spewing out one-sides platitudes? After a couple of days of pleas such as the above most of the class shuts up and lets the loud ranters take over.

Sounds like an awesome and invaluable 9th grade experience. A sort of social boot camp.

[Anonymous]

Oh the irony! Maybe you can talk to parents of girls or people of color to see how they have endured being made to feel less than productive positive contributors in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our big 3, 9th graders have a seminar class where topical issues are discussed.

According to my kid, every session degrades into why men/toxic masculinity is the core #1 thing wrong with the world. Teachers do nothing to stop this. The conversation degrades to 20 minutes of such informed debate as "men should be banned from running companies, cities, holding public office"

We chose this school. It's known for its stances. But if one was to try to devise the most effective way to turn off boys n a classroom from learning and cause backlash, this would be it. Our school is known for protecting students with "safe speech" around topics like the holocaust, racism etc but yet that does not apply here for some reason. I also dont like safety-ism so I dont want to lean on that argument if I go to the scvhool

What advice do you all have for a parent worried about this dynamic and in particular the wholesale accusations against men and boys as harming boys in the classroom? Go to the teacher or up to admin?

This is a serious post and I beg that the mods not remove this thread

This is your interpretation of what your son is reporting. If you want to know more, request a meeting with the teacher with the goal of genuinely learning what's happening in the classroom. Ask questions and listen to the answers. If you're still not happy, I would talk to your son's advisor and after that the 9th grade dean. But first be sure of what's going on. Ninth graders are not always accurate reporters, and like people of all ages, they don't necessarily respond well to the questioning of their privilege.

In addition, the most effective thing you could perhaps do is role play these conversations with your son. Help him think through good responses that distinguish between maleness and toxic masculinity. Empower him to solve the problem on his own.

Exactly- forget that Know Your Truths stuff. He’s not the right demographic for that to apply. Let’s go gaslight him all together now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

Unfortunately true. It all seemed so tidy years ago when we started here with little kids at the time. And really seems gross now. The saddest thing is the older HS teachers who have been here for decades all complain about the place (about these same things) too.

[Anonymous]

Have him voice record a few classes for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

When I read OP’s post the first thing that popped up in my mind was “this has got to be GDS”.

I don’t know if it actually is but whatever school is teaching this way is not engaging in thoughtful discussion or critical thinking for the students. Some institutions seem to have confused conviction with conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh the irony! Maybe you can talk to parents of girls or people of color to see how they have endured being made to feel less than productive positive contributors in this country.

Look the teacher is here! Listen up folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him voice record a few classes for you.

OP here - i saw this and first thought - that would be wrong. but there is some logic here: also DC is a one party consent state

[Anonymous]

Maybe all the boys should just be expelled as they are causing trouble. Might as well establish. A perfect society as they obviously are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Just have him call himself non-binary. That shuts up everyone in middle school and elicits nods of approval and self-knowledge points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have him voice record a few classes for you.

OP here - i saw this and first thought - that would be wrong. but there is some logic here: also DC is a one party consent state

As long as you don’t share it or try to use it in court it’s fine.
I’m dsylexic, I taped lots of high school and college classes for my notes and references.

If you do want the right to share it, or Big Brother a lecture (ie deter totally off the wall teaching), announce it beforehand to the teacher and class. FYI I need tit ape this for George who’s out skiing today. Thx.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

When I read OP’s post the first thing that popped up in my mind was “this has got to be GDS”.

I don’t know if it actually is but whatever school is teaching this way is not engaging in thoughtful discussion or critical thinking for the students. Some institutions seem to have confused conviction with conversation.

I initially thought that too, but OP made a point of mentioning that it was a "Big 3" school, so it obviously can't be GDS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s what you get at GDS….. send your kid to STA where they are taught to be proud of who they are and they can be successful.

When I read OP’s post the first thing that popped up in my mind was “this has got to be GDS”.

I don’t know if it actually is but whatever school is teaching this way is not engaging in thoughtful discussion or critical thinking for the students. Some institutions seem to have confused conviction with conversation.

I initially thought that too, but OP made a point of mentioning that it was a "Big 3" school, so it obviously can't be GDS.

lol - you got me. Yes it is GDS