Feel bad we don’t have a larger house to host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

This only adds up to $10k. You should have plenty of money to upgrade to a bigger house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

This only adds up to $10k. You should have plenty of money to upgrade to a bigger house!

Yes but that doesn’t also include retirement, savings, health insurance, food, utilities, etc.

[Anonymous]

As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

Clearly your cash flow issues are temporary. After your kids are out of daycare you can easily afford to upgrade to a larger home, or renovate your basement to turn it into a guest suite. It’s a little ridiculous that you’re in the top 1% of salaries and still whining about not being able to afford a big enough home.

That salary is tight with 3 kids and college to fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

This only adds up to $10k. You should have plenty of money to upgrade to a bigger house!

Yes but that doesn’t also include retirement, savings, health insurance, food, utilities, etc.

Okay, I mean I do all that on $250k, so you should still have plenty left over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

Clearly your cash flow issues are temporary. After your kids are out of daycare you can easily afford to upgrade to a larger home, or renovate your basement to turn it into a guest suite. It’s a little ridiculous that you’re in the top 1% of salaries and still whining about not being able to afford a big enough home.

That salary is tight with 3 kids and college to fund.

“Tight”? You have got to be kidding. You need a good dose of perspective, my friend.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a family of 5 and we have a 4 bed, 3 bath house, about 3000 Sq ft. No basement, but an upstairs bonus/play room. We just hosted 7 additional people for Xmas.

In everyday life we use 3 bedrooms and always keep 1 room a guest room/work from home room for DH. It has a desk in it for DH and a queen bed.

My older two (ages 10 and 7) have shared a room with bunk beds for the past 4 years. No issues, they're fine with it.

My 4 year old sleeps on his own queen bed and when we have visitors, they can use that queen bed, and we make a little bed for our DS with a toddler mattress and he sleeps next to us in our bedroom.

Make the older two share a room. Buy an air mattress. Switch the twin bed to a queen bed.

Just giving you some ideas! It's doable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

That’s an amazing price on daycare for 3 kids.

Op - yes it’s for one full time daycare and 2 aftercare (doesn’t include summer camp obviously).

Okay, so you actually have one kid in daycare and two kids in elementary school. Not sure why you would claim to have three in daycare (which clearly implies under 5).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

That’s an amazing price on daycare for 3 kids.

Op - yes it’s for one full time daycare and 2 aftercare (doesn’t include summer camp obviously).

Okay, so you actually have one kid in daycare and two kids in elementary school. Not sure why you would claim to have three in daycare (which clearly implies under 5).

Op - apologies it is 1 full daycare plus 2 aftercare plus summer camps. Pretty much adds up to 3 full time daycare.

[Anonymous]

My family also lives in NoVa and while technically we have 1 bedroom unused, it’s my husband’s office with a queen pull out couch. It’s not the most luxurious accommodation, but it’s ridiculous to spend $$$$ more on a house for a room or two that get used maybe 2 weeks a year.

We did the math and we could pay for grandparents or siblings to stay at a nice full service hotel 1 mile from our house for more days a year than they will ever visit for the life of our 30 yr mortgage. We could take the $$$ not spent on the large house and pay for a cool air B&B in between for everyone to stay at for a week if we wanted to as well.

Finish your basement. Get one of your kids a trundle bed. Get another kid a double or queen bed. Have your kids do a sleeping bag slumber party with cousins and/or have them double up and give up their room for a few days. Our basement has a futon, a Murphy bed, and a small bath with a stall shower, no tub. When we re-do it (it was finished in the 90s) we’ll put a small fridge, sink, coffee station down there to make it more like a guest suite. All of these things are WAY cheaper and more practical than being house poor so you can live your HGTV dream life 1 week a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

Gosh, we all feel so bad for you.

Cry me a river! 700k was not the top of your budget - but it was a wise choice. We make less and also have just completed the years of 2 simultaneous private daycare / preschool bills. Finish your basement into a guest suite already. Also you knew you lived in a high COL area before you had kids and yet you chose to have 3 kids. That’s on you. Please don’t come crying in 10-15 years how you don’t qualify for financial aid and you are jealous that you can’t fully fund college X 3 at private schools. You can’t have 3 kids and still have everything you want - and also live in a high COL area - unless you lower your standards from whatever Instagram vision you had of what you thought a $500k income life looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

500k? Stop whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

That’s an amazing price on daycare for 3 kids.

Op - yes it’s for one full time daycare and 2 aftercare (doesn’t include summer camp obviously).

Okay, so you actually have one kid in daycare and two kids in elementary school. Not sure why you would claim to have three in daycare (which clearly implies under 5).

Op - apologies it is 1 full daycare plus 2 aftercare plus summer camps. Pretty much adds up to 3 full time daycare.

Not even close! Again, my kids are the same age.
Full time daycare is $28k on the high end
Arlington extended day morning and night + 10 weeks of Congo camp with the bus (one of the more expensive options) is $12k with some generous rounding. Throw in winter break, spring break, and day off camps - let’s pick another camp on the expensive end - Silver Knights or Arena Stage, that adds another $1500 total. You’re still at $14k, half of daycare.

I don’t think math is your strength. Maybe spring for a financial advisor before you pursue the basement renovation.

[Anonymous]

OP, we’re the “poor relatives” in my husband’s family. Focus on what you DO have to offer. Does my SIL have a bigger house? Sure. But I’m an amazing cook and we hosted a lovely Thanksgiving just the same.

I would also encourage you to read through this forum and read just how many adults do not want to stay in a family member’s home at all, no matter how fancy. Your BIL’s bad back might really be a preference for a hotel, and that’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.

That’s an amazing price on daycare for 3 kids.

Op - yes it’s for one full time daycare and 2 aftercare (doesn’t include summer camp obviously).

Okay, so you actually have one kid in daycare and two kids in elementary school. Not sure why you would claim to have three in daycare (which clearly implies under 5).

Op - apologies it is 1 full daycare plus 2 aftercare plus summer camps. Pretty much adds up to 3 full time daycare.

Not even close! Again, my kids are the same age.
Full time daycare is $28k on the high end
Arlington extended day morning and night + 10 weeks of Congo camp with the bus (one of the more expensive options) is $12k with some generous rounding. Throw in winter break, spring break, and day off camps - let’s pick another camp on the expensive end - Silver Knights or Arena Stage, that adds another $1500 total. You’re still at $14k, half of daycare.

I don’t think math is your strength. Maybe spring for a financial advisor before you pursue the basement renovation.

Op our full time daycare is $365 a week for one kid and $200 per kid for aftercare. Plus summer camps for each kid is around $400 per week x 2.

So $17,520 for full time daycare, $14,800 for aftercare for the school year and $8000 for summer camps. Total is $40,320 per year for childcare for 3 kids - 2 of whom are in elementary school. If we had 3 in daycare it would have been $52,560 - so yes it is $12,000 less expensive than having full time daycare.