Feel bad we don’t have a larger house to host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

OK. Then make different choices with your life. Move to a more affordable part of the country. Pretty wild that you had a third kid you can’t afford. You can’t have it all, at least not all at once—most of us learn that in about Kindergarten. You’re whining about your life. You are in charge of your life. If having a bigger house is important to you, move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

Clearly your cash flow issues are temporary. After your kids are out of daycare you can easily afford to upgrade to a larger home, or renovate your basement to turn it into a guest suite. It’s a little ridiculous that you’re in the top 1% of salaries and still whining about not being able to afford a big enough home.

[Anonymous]

If your sister is in New England, she’s in a HCOL area too. Just quit feeling sorry for yourself, OP, and invite the family for the next holiday. Your sister may be relieved she doesn’t have to host for once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your kids share a single bedroom when guests visit (or have 1 or more sleep in your room) and give up 1 of your bathrooms for guests so that it is clean and not cluttered. It is doable. Maybe not for a week, but for a few nights.

Get the basement finished asap.

Op - guests can’t really sleep in the kids rooms. One has a crib, one is bunk beds and one has a twin bed in it. Nothing comfortable enough for adult guests to stay in for a weeks stay. Plus we have 2 full bathrooms for 9 people upstairs.

Right now at my sisters house my family is staying here, my parents are here and my sisters whole family. There is no way we could fit that many people. Which makes me sad. But I do realize it’s a first world problem.

Now you’re just finding excuses. Ever hear of blow-up mattresses? They have nice ones at price clubs. Like, wah wah wah. You move the crib in your bedroom. Now you put a double or queen blow-up mattress in baby’s room. For the bunk beds, that’s a cousin room. I mean, there are a hundred ways to solve the space “problem.” Your real problem is that you don’t think that would be fancy enough to compete with your sister’s house. Nobody here can help with your jealousy. My goodness, the whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

Yeah, peace out. ✌️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your kids share a single bedroom when guests visit (or have 1 or more sleep in your room) and give up 1 of your bathrooms for guests so that it is clean and not cluttered. It is doable. Maybe not for a week, but for a few nights.

Get the basement finished asap.

Op - guests can’t really sleep in the kids rooms. One has a crib, one is bunk beds and one has a twin bed in it. Nothing comfortable enough for adult guests to stay in for a weeks stay. Plus we have 2 full bathrooms for 9 people upstairs.

Right now at my sisters house my family is staying here, my parents are here and my sisters whole family. There is no way we could fit that many people. Which makes me sad. But I do realize it’s a first world problem.

Buy a pull-out couch for your family room. You’re acting like a sad sack, OP.

[Anonymous]

Next family trip should be a service trip. Sharing a moldy mattress with one scratchy blanket in the hosts "bedroom" that they gave up for you and your spouse while they bunked with their sister will really change your perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your kids share a single bedroom when guests visit (or have 1 or more sleep in your room) and give up 1 of your bathrooms for guests so that it is clean and not cluttered. It is doable. Maybe not for a week, but for a few nights.

Get the basement finished asap.

Op - guests can’t really sleep in the kids rooms. One has a crib, one is bunk beds and one has a twin bed in it. Nothing comfortable enough for adult guests to stay in for a weeks stay. Plus we have 2 full bathrooms for 9 people upstairs.

Right now at my sisters house my family is staying here, my parents are here and my sisters whole family. There is no way we could fit that many people. Which makes me sad. But I do realize it’s a first world problem.

OP - theres a place called IKEA.... Nice pull out queen couch in the baby's room? and kids fit in those other rooms. I just slept in a room with 3 nephews and we had 11 people shower with 2 bathrooms (and my parents would only let me use their bathroom . Anyway it was the best sleep Ive had in a while - I think because my kids were at home!!

[Anonymous]

This is a season of life. Your cash flow issues will improve. So will set up of bedrooms. A crib will last what- another year?

Finish the basement as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Op - yes I realize this is a me problem. However my sister flat out has told me that her family can’t stay with us for longer than a weekend because her husband can’t sleep on a pull out couch for that long. He has a bad back and needs a regular bed (preferably a king size bed). I am trying to find a way to fit a king bed in one of the kids rooms so guests can use it when they are visiting.

Also yes my sister and her husband don’t live in a low cost of living area but they make more than us, which is also hard since having disparate incomes among families can sometimes be difficult.

[Anonymous]

Stop feeling bad. Make the most of what you have. You can still host if you want. I have family that host gatherings but live in apartments and townhomes. I lived in townhome with 3 kids for most of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - yes I realize this is a me problem. However my sister flat out has told me that her family can’t stay with us for longer than a weekend because her husband can’t sleep on a pull out couch for that long. He has a bad back and needs a regular bed (preferably a king size bed). I am trying to find a way to fit a king bed in one of the kids rooms so guests can use it when they are visiting.

Also yes my sister and her husband don’t live in a low cost of living area but they make more than us, which is also hard since having disparate incomes among families can sometimes be difficult.

It’s difficult because you’re making it difficult. Stop whining. It’s an ugly look on you when you’re making half a million. Really ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - yes I realize this is a me problem. However my sister flat out has told me that her family can’t stay with us for longer than a weekend because her husband can’t sleep on a pull out couch for that long. He has a bad back and needs a regular bed (preferably a king size bed). I am trying to find a way to fit a king bed in one of the kids rooms so guests can use it when they are visiting.

Also yes my sister and her husband don’t live in a low cost of living area but they make more than us, which is also hard since having disparate incomes among families can sometimes be difficult.

Oh my god, just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So pay off your loans aggressively, then buy a bigger house. I don’t get why people with high incomes let the loans stick around.

Op here - we are paying them off aggressively. We pay $3500 a month on student loans, $3500 a month on daycare, $3000 a month on mortgage.