Feel bad we don’t have a larger house to host

[Anonymous]

We live right outside Chicago. We have 2 kids and a 3 bed 1.5 bath house. If the kids bunk together that means we have an extra room for family. My sisters family was here this summer and we all had a great time in our tiny shack. Her house overseas is smaller than mine and we manage to stay there. We grew up in a huge house but it's not worth complaining about. We have our health and a loving family. Our HHI is $130k and I am at the point where I am skipping meals to save money on food since the kids need it more, and keeping the house under 65. It is getting desperate. 3 years ago we had so much extra money we were planning to have the house paid off in a couple years. Now that will never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I also find it hard because I grew up in a large house (4000 sq ft) and have always had big family get togethers growing up. However living in a high cost of living area makes it to hard to have a large house.

Dh and I make $500,000 but we have a ton of student loans and have had 3 kids in daycare which cost an arm and a leg.

So you grew up rich and had an enormous house too? I was ashamed to have guests over because my parents could afford carpet (we had unfinished concrete floors) and my dad was drunk by noon.

Sorry your life has taken a turn for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your kids share a single bedroom when guests visit (or have 1 or more sleep in your room) and give up 1 of your bathrooms for guests so that it is clean and not cluttered. It is doable. Maybe not for a week, but for a few nights.

Get the basement finished asap.

Op - guests can’t really sleep in the kids rooms. One has a crib, one is bunk beds and one has a twin bed in it. Nothing comfortable enough for adult guests to stay in for a weeks stay. Plus we have 2 full bathrooms for 9 people upstairs.

Right now at my sisters house my family is staying here, my parents are here and my sisters whole family. There is no way we could fit that many people. Which makes me sad. But I do realize it’s a first world problem.

This goes way beyond first world if the none of the kids 3 bedrooms wouldn’t work.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had your problems... huge income and good sized house. We have 1000 square feet. Try that for a week.

[Anonymous]

You won’t have 3 kids in daycare forever OP-those costs will diminish and assuming you don’t put your kids in private school you can afford a hotel for your loved ones go reciprocate. We used to do that when we lived in a 1000 sq ft condo every other year when our family would visit.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? You make $500k a year and you’re whining about this? Get a grip. Your house sounds perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

You need to learn contentment. We upgraded from 1800 sq to 5000 square feet, which at the time I thought was huge, but it’s smaller thank my neighbors and sometimes I find myself jealous of all their entertaining space. Honestly though there is always someone who has more, so contentment is the key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely host - you just think its not good enough. Why can't all your kids go in one room for a few days and that leaves two rooms available for guests. That is crazy to have say you have a 4 bedroom house, but you can't host.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, make one of the kid’s bedrooms the “nicer” one that can double as a guest room. We always did this with our kids. They got a nicer room in exchange for having to give it up occasionally.

Also someone up in the thread had the idea of hosting the cousins and letting your sister and her husband stay in a hotel. That would be a win-win! You get to host, the cousins get special time together and they get a mini-vacation. You could also offer to host just the kids sometime and let your sister have a weekend getaway without the kids.

Lots of fun options - but you have to get out of the comparison mode and think your hosting has to look just like your sister’s.

[Anonymous]

OP can easily afford a nicer house. She just chooses to spend on other things. And then complains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP can easily afford a nicer house. She just chooses to spend on other things. And then complains.

+1. Agree with PP that the real issue is that OP failed in life and is refusing to take responsibility for it. Living in a high cost area means getting a job that pays well if that is important to you. Why isn’t she earning enough to cover her costs? Fail.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will be able to buy a bigger house in the future, so just hold on until then. I like the idea of renting an Airbnb close to your home where you all can stay together for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need space in your heart to host.

With two jobs and three kids, I do not think you are in a any position to host.

Though, with 4 bedrooms and an unfinished basement, you have plenty of space. Your kids can share bedrooms with each other to make it work.

What you do have are excuses.

[Anonymous]

Just get the basement finished. Really, how do you even function?

[Anonymous]

OP, damn, you've gotten so many great ideas. Stop your whining and us some of them!

I would get two older kids to share a room. Buy a twin over full bunk bed (also great for sleepovers), put a queen or king size bed in 3rd bedroom. One of your kids could even keep 3rd bedroom as theirs, they just bunk in other room when you have guests. You could also add a small sofa sleeper in toddlers room that could be used for cousins. All of the above would not be terribly expensive and you should be able to afford it.

I think the air B&B solution is great too. We live in 1800 sf row house and that's what we do when family visits!