Holiday reminder to respect a family's no gift policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you value people who treat you well, start treating people well. A simple: “we are so happy that you want to send us gifts at the holidays. We have found that we appreciate charitable donations so much more. Please make a donation to a group you support and let us know a little more about them. This is very kind and thoughtful of you.”

No if someone told me that I would decline. I would rather give you nothing. I hate when people tell me how to spend my money.

I hope you get what you want..no gifts ever.

NP. That would be such a blessing! We aren’t hoarders like half the people on DCUM. We have enough, and all of good quality. We don’t keep junk. We care for the environment and for human rights. It amazes me that people won’t spend their money on a charitable donation or for some good purpose that would actually honor the holiday season instead of fruitcake and literal “white elephant” junk. JUNK.

Good for you then! I give to charity but, it is sad if kids don't get any presents. We do something you need, something you want, something to read, and something to eat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are ridiculously rude, OP. And the balls on you thinking you get to dictate what other people do…just wow.

Are you one of those rude people who refuses to take off their shoes when asked in another persons home? How is it different if someone respectfully requests that you don’t bring or send a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are the hostile PPs so insistent on giving people stuff they don’t want?

Thankfully I don't know anyone crazy and selfish enough to "not want gifts". So it's not a problem.

I don’t understand this hostility

+1 “Selfish enough to not want gifts?” How does that work? I’m with OP. I don’t want anything. Save your time and money. I want to spend time and visit and talk and eat/drink together. But, please, just stop with the stuff.

It's not that you and OP don't want gifts or things - you only want the things that you have selected, that meet your needs, wants, and requirements to be organic, ethically sourced, sustainable, etc. Other people's tastes won't be acceptable so you don't want them. We hear, loud and clear.

Yes. What’s the problem here? Please save your time and money and don’t get me something I don’t want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are ridiculously rude, OP. And the balls on you thinking you get to dictate what other people do…just wow.

Are you one of those rude people who refuses to take off their shoes when asked in another persons home? How is it different if someone respectfully requests that you don’t bring or send a gift?

Um. I remove my shoes. But no one has ever been rude enough to ask me to. I don’t spend time with people who lack manners. Were you raised by wolves?

[Anonymous]

Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

OP doesn't want your food gifts that she's allergic to, intolerant of, or just does not eat. She doesn't want your gift cards for places that she doesn't patron and she doesn't want your experience gifts for experiences that she dislikes or looks down upon.

No gifts. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gift giving is part of Christmas and "the holidays" more generally. You don't get to rewrite out traditions to suit yourself.

NP here and I don’t necessarily love OP’s tone, but I agree with the premise. In fact the materialism is by far my least favorite part of the holidays. Why isn’t time off school/work to cook yummy food and spend with loved ones enough of a tradition? And who says you can’t rewrite tradition? Pretty sure traditions evolve over time. All this gift giving won’t be as fun if we’re sitting in landfills of plastic to do it.

Honestly, there’s really no reason for grown adults to be giving gifts to each other, save the gift giving for the kids and even then make it a moderate amount so the children can actually enjoy them instead of experiencing sensory overload.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

I relate to all this especially the part about wanting to spend your free time enjoying your home/family, not managing more STUFF to donate. The gift of “no gifts” is that you’re truly giving someone peace and lack of clutter. If you *must* gift something, give a gift card to a store you know the person shops at. Better yet, come by for a cup of tea out on the front porch. Time with others is truly the most valuable gift of all.

And when I think back to my Christmases as a child, I cannot recall one present my grandparents bought me. Not a single one. But I do remember curling up in my grandmother’s lap by the fire. Being snuck sweets. Playing board games with my grandpa. Those are the wonderful memories of the holidays, not the stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

I relate to all this especially the part about wanting to spend your free time enjoying your home/family, not managing more STUFF to donate. The gift of “no gifts” is that you’re truly giving someone peace and lack of clutter. If you *must* gift something, give a gift card to a store you know the person shops at. Better yet, come by for a cup of tea out on the front porch. Time with others is truly the most valuable gift of all.

And when I think back to my Christmases as a child, I cannot recall one present my grandparents bought me. Not a single one. But I do remember curling up in my grandmother’s lap by the fire. Being snuck sweets. Playing board games with my grandpa. Those are the wonderful memories of the holidays, not the stuff.

If you're rude enough to your parents, then they won't spend time with your kids and you won't have to worry about stuff or sweet memories at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

I relate to all this especially the part about wanting to spend your free time enjoying your home/family, not managing more STUFF to donate. The gift of “no gifts” is that you’re truly giving someone peace and lack of clutter. If you *must* gift something, give a gift card to a store you know the person shops at. Better yet, come by for a cup of tea out on the front porch. Time with others is truly the most valuable gift of all.

And when I think back to my Christmases as a child, I cannot recall one present my grandparents bought me. Not a single one. But I do remember curling up in my grandmother’s lap by the fire. Being snuck sweets. Playing board games with my grandpa. Those are the wonderful memories of the holidays, not the stuff.

If you're rude enough to your parents, then they won't spend time with your kids and you won't have to worry about stuff or sweet memories at all.

You sound unhinged

[Anonymous]

All you people who have exactly zero things in your life that you want but don’t need and consequently don’t purchase for yourself must be so rich. That’s what gift giving is for — for the things that you want, be they stuff, experience, or consumable that you can’t afford yourself or can’t justify spending your money on even if you could afford it. Consider instead of just instantly purchasing all the things you want and need (oh to be able to just purchase stuff like that) saving some for your Christmas list. Then you won’t need to dispose of everything people give you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people who have exactly zero things in your life that you want but don’t need and consequently don’t purchase for yourself must be so rich. That’s what gift giving is for — for the things that you want, be they stuff, experience, or consumable that you can’t afford yourself or can’t justify spending your money on even if you could afford it. Consider instead of just instantly purchasing all the things you want and need (oh to be able to just purchase stuff like that) saving some for your Christmas list. Then you won’t need to dispose of everything people give you.

What makes you think my family has the money to afford the stuff I want? I couldn’t in good conscience ask my family who makes far less than me to spend on such things. I’d rather them just save their money altogether than wasting it on something I don’t want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people who have exactly zero things in your life that you want but don’t need and consequently don’t purchase for yourself must be so rich. That’s what gift giving is for — for the things that you want, be they stuff, experience, or consumable that you can’t afford yourself or can’t justify spending your money on even if you could afford it. Consider instead of just instantly purchasing all the things you want and need (oh to be able to just purchase stuff like that) saving some for your Christmas list. Then you won’t need to dispose of everything people give you.

What makes you think my family has the money to afford the stuff I want? I couldn’t in good conscience ask my family who makes far less than me to spend on such things. I’d rather them just save their money altogether than wasting it on something I don’t want.

1. So ask for a group gift from the whole family.

2. Or choose some less pricy thing you would normally buy yourself and save it for Christmas.

It just sounds like you want to be the “generous” one by telling your poor relations to save their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

How about YOU stop buying stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh OP I empathize. The whole act of shopping and receiving gifts at Christmastime has become a real drain on the holiday spirit. We are all adults and can buy our own socks.

I’ve taken to giving food gifts, gift cards, and experiences when I have to give, and opting out of all other gift exchanges including Secret Santa and white elephant. I’m an adult in a small space, and I have to make tough decisions about what can stay and what can go every time I get something new. Even something so simple as a mug means I have to throw out a current favorite or trash yours. Having to do this with my kids’ stuff is even worse, especially now that they are old enough to notice when that piece of junk toy truck they haven’t touched in 3 months is gone. I hate that I have to blow my time off cleaning out spaces and doing goodwill drop offs instead of actually spending time relaxing and enjoying their company.

So really, when people say no gifts, please try to honor it. If the gift giving is for you, then you’re going into it with the wrong mindset anyway.

I relate to all this especially the part about wanting to spend your free time enjoying your home/family, not managing more STUFF to donate. The gift of “no gifts” is that you’re truly giving someone peace and lack of clutter. If you *must* gift something, give a gift card to a store you know the person shops at. Better yet, come by for a cup of tea out on the front porch. Time with others is truly the most valuable gift of all.

And when I think back to my Christmases as a child, I cannot recall one present my grandparents bought me. Not a single one. But I do remember curling up in my grandmother’s lap by the fire. Being snuck sweets. Playing board games with my grandpa. Those are the wonderful memories of the holidays, not the stuff.

I still have the earrings my great aunt gave me as a child.. what a nice thing to pass down.