Why do young people have kids they can't afford?

[Anonymous]

Biglaw, biglaw, biglaw. Dcum is full of biglaw lawyers. They can do everything. They are entitled. Everyone on dcum is biglaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

So those who don’t have children in their twenties are eating at bottomless brunches and talking sports leagues. Okay, you! Sorry I didn’t have children in my twenties nor ate brunch and talked sports. I missed that email.

Um, pretty much. That’s what I was doing before I had my kids- working, living in the city, going out for nice meals, and traveling. That’s what my family and friends who don’t have kids were doing and are still doing. Some people are getting grad degrees in their twenties. And all of that is fine. My only point is that it’s fine to delay having kids (or don’t have them at all! Who cares?) but it’s also fine to have them in your twenties when you are also an adult. There is nothing “too young” about it other than our culture continuing to delay what’s considered to be adulthood. And people who are adamant that you have to wait until your mid to late thirties are as equally annoying and self righteous as the camp who insists on having them young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

I pity yours you old shrew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Honey, my parents married at 18. I’m not doing that nor should anyone.

There is a huge difference between having a child at 18 and 26. Almost a decade. There is also a five year difference between 18 and 23. Therefore your point that 18 is too young is not really relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

I pity yours you old shrew

DP Nice name calling. You’ve lost when you have to resort to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

And you sound emotionally imbalanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

I pity yours you old shrew

DP Nice name calling. You’ve lost when you have to resort to that.

That was a different poster. While I agree I wouldn’t use that language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

You tell us since you already told us that 20 years old childless people are having brunch and talking sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

I pity yours you old shrew

Pot calling kettle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

So those who don’t have children in their twenties are eating at bottomless brunches and talking sports leagues. Okay, you! Sorry I didn’t have children in my twenties nor ate brunch and talked sports. I missed that email.

Um, pretty much. That’s what I was doing before I had my kids- working, living in the city, going out for nice meals, and traveling. That’s what my family and friends who don’t have kids were doing and are still doing. Some people are getting grad degrees in their twenties. And all of that is fine. My only point is that it’s fine to delay having kids (or don’t have them at all! Who cares?) but it’s also fine to have them in your twenties when you are also an adult. There is nothing “too young” about it other than our culture continuing to delay what’s considered to be adulthood. And people who are adamant that you have to wait until your mid to late thirties are as equally annoying and self righteous as the camp who insists on having them young.

NP. Ummm, pretty much not. I knew no one who brunched and sport leagued in their 20’s. People who brunch are older. You are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

And you sound emotionally imbalanced.

None of this is emotionally imbalanced. Your posts are the ones that come off as if you are quite triggered by and defensive about the idea that childless people in their twenties and thirties enjoy much more downtime for leisurely activities than their counterparts who are parents (and go on to namecall their parents and say you “pity” their kids.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

So those who don’t have children in their twenties are eating at bottomless brunches and talking sports leagues. Okay, you! Sorry I didn’t have children in my twenties nor ate brunch and talked sports. I missed that email.

Um, pretty much. That’s what I was doing before I had my kids- working, living in the city, going out for nice meals, and traveling. That’s what my family and friends who don’t have kids were doing and are still doing. Some people are getting grad degrees in their twenties. And all of that is fine. My only point is that it’s fine to delay having kids (or don’t have them at all! Who cares?) but it’s also fine to have them in your twenties when you are also an adult. There is nothing “too young” about it other than our culture continuing to delay what’s considered to be adulthood. And people who are adamant that you have to wait until your mid to late thirties are as equally annoying and self righteous as the camp who insists on having them young.

So you’re saying nothing to young in regards to having babies. Move to Afghanistan, you’ll fit right in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

And you sound emotionally imbalanced.

None of this is emotionally imbalanced. Your posts are the ones that come off as if you are quite triggered by and defensive about the idea that childless people in their twenties and thirties enjoy much more downtime for leisurely activities than their counterparts who are parents (and go on to namecall their parents and say you “pity” their kids.)

Generally, yes, people who are not raising children have more leisure time. To say that those young ones are playing sports and brunching is asinine.
You inadvertently cemented that you are emotionally imbalanced as pp said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

You sound bitter. Praytell, what incremental “maturity” helped you between 25 and 35+ in terms of raising kids?

You tell us since you already told us that 20 years old childless people are having brunch and talking sports.

None, besides more money. That’s been my point the whole time. It’s fine to choose to have kids in your twenties or to have them later. Whatever floats your boat. Just don’t act like having kids later is superior. It’s not, it’s just a choice or circumstance.