Why do young people have kids they can't afford?

[Anonymous]

Having spent a fair amount of time with girls who make the choices to have a baby really young, I’ve heard the expression “There’s never a perfect time to have a baby” a lot. I think it comes from a lack of sense of control over their lives. They believe they’re never going to have a great marriage or home or job or savings, so why wait for the baby they want now? What would be the point? It’s also a lack of awareness of or lack of interest in all the possibilities for their lives. I remember being in my mid-20s and people pushing me to go ahead and have a baby already. I’ll never forget a friend asking me, “What else are you going to do?” I think there are some people who life just happens to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

Please no. I'd rather have well rounded adults who are educated (high school, trade school and/or college if they want), had time to save, and who have stable marriages than 20 years olds having babies.

I think most women put off children because they haven't gotten married yet, not because of a lack of money.

+1. What young men are going to want to be fathers in their early 20's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Oh okay guess I'll just give my baby back

[Anonymous]

I had mine at 26 too. And why not, I had already graduated from college and worked my way up to a director position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Oh okay guess I'll just give my baby back

Since you’ve already made a bad choice, going forward it’s best to encourage your children not to have babies at such a young age. Your comment is very reactive and obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 26 too. And why not, I had already graduated from college and worked my way up to a director position.

So did I. I was married and in my third year of residency, doing mostly outpatient work.

My career isn’t amazing, but it seems fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 26 too. And why not, I had already graduated from college and worked my way up to a director position.

You really need a reason as to why not to having a baby at such a young age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 26 too. And why not, I had already graduated from college and worked my way up to a director position.

NP. College or not. Nope to babies at 26.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 26 too. And why not, I had already graduated from college and worked my way up to a director position.

So did I. I was married and in my third year of residency, doing mostly outpatient work.

My career isn’t amazing, but it seems fine.

Apparently, only college grads are entitled to having babies at 26.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

It will never happen here because the US is one of the few countries that has practically no social policies to support mothers of any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Your parents are from a different generation. That is not relevant to 20+ years old today.
Success and wealth do not make one a good parent at a young age. Only serves to cement how wrong you are in your reasoning for having a child.

Bottomless brunches and sports league talk shows your immaturity. I pity your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

So those who don’t have children in their twenties are eating at bottomless brunches and talking sports leagues. Okay, you! Sorry I didn’t have children in my twenties nor ate brunch and talked sports. I missed that email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever seen the TLC show “Unexpected”? This program shows the ups and downs of teens having babies. Typically, teens pregnancies have occurred for a few generations. They interview the soon to be grandma, who is in her early 40’s, and the great grandma, who is barely 60 years old. It’s an eye opener and honestly, maybe a must see TV for the young teen crowd. Note the gender reveals and baby showers the new mother’s expect.

From a biological standpoint this is very much the natural order of things. Beyond the many women who struggle to conceive after prioritizing education and career for most or all of their 20s, and many who are never successful because they waited too long and cannot afford fertility treatments, there is also the very real issue of modern women who have children later in life having less support from other generations who just don’t have the energy once grandchildren and great grandchildren come along.

It would be nice if we could reorganize our society so that women could have babies in their early 20s if they want to without losing all the opportunities that come from delayed motherhood. Iceland is one of the few countries that really enforces this approach through social policies to support mothers.

The current model is unsustainable, I know that.

pp here -- this is such a valid point and I would love to know more about Iceland's support system.

I had my child at 26 (planned) and it has worked out great for me but it was under unusual circumstances. My career has not suffered at all.

I am anecdotally seeing more of my peers have a baby in their late 20s with the advent of paid parental leave.

26 is too young. Sorry

Lol, 26 is not too young. Both of my gen x siblings were married and had their first kids before 26. They are also incredibly successful and wealthy. They had their shit together and did not waste their twenties (and frankly, their peak fertility years) toying around at bottomless brunches and social sports leagues.

My parents also were married at 23 and had their first kid at 25. Both professionals, including biglaw. Was it too young 40 years ago? The only thing that’s changed (besides reproductive medicine) is that for some reason, it’s now acceptable for adults to still be considered incapable children by their mid twenties.

I have no issue with people who choose to wait until they’re 35+ or don’t meet the right person until then, but don’t attack mid twenties as too young either.

-married in my mid twenties, first kid in late twenties.

Honey, my parents married at 18. I’m not doing that nor should anyone.