Moving to a different state and impact on kids?

[Anonymous]

I moved at that age across country two times. New schools, knew nobody. If my parents had asked me if I wanted to do it of course I would have said no. And it wasn't easy but it did make me resilient, open to change, and better able to navigate new situations. I was prepared for college in that way when it happened because I had experienced homesickness and that level of change before. As an adult I've moved across country many more times. Definitely my experiences made me flexible and more adventuresome than I probably would have otherwise been if I never had at the chance. I say go for it.

I just moved my own kids recently to a new state and they have adjusted very well, even though they are a bit younger.

[Anonymous]

We moved from CA to Fl for my son to start middle school, then from FL to DC for him entering 10th grade. He's an only child, not sporty and fairly introverted. The first move he was not enthusiastic about, but by the end of the first year, loved his new school / life. There were many life lessons about resilience, different people/ cultures, etc and it gave him confidence to try new things and travel. He was excited to move to DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from CA to Fl for my son to start middle school, then from FL to DC for him entering 10th grade. He's an only child, not sporty and fairly introverted. The first move he was not enthusiastic about, but by the end of the first year, loved his new school / life. There were many life lessons about resilience, different people/ cultures, etc and it gave him confidence to try new things and travel. He was excited to move to DC.

So, no "hard pass" for you, eh?

[Anonymous]

We did between 8th and 9th grade because we thought the other option was to stay until HS graduation. My DC is fairly introverted, and it took him a bit to make new friends, but it all worked out really well, and DC says he is glad we did it.

We involved DC in the move, and took him to tour schools and look at houses. He was accepted to multiple private schools and we let him choose between any of them and the public HS. Because the lead time on private HS applications is so long, he had plenty of time to get used to the idea. I do think DC is more confident about heading off to college because of the move.

I agree that I would not do it if my DC had serious mental health issues. If things went badly, you would never know what role the move had to play, but you would always wonder and blame yourself.

[Anonymous]

unless your kids have some major health issues i would absolutely do it. you want to move for your job, and that matters, too. you and your life and your preferences count. your kids will out of home in 5-6 years. staying in DC because of their friends is absolutely insane. they can have a major fallout with their besties tomorrow and you missed your major life opportunity so that they could stay closer to larla?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from CA to Fl for my son to start middle school, then from FL to DC for him entering 10th grade. He's an only child, not sporty and fairly introverted. The first move he was not enthusiastic about, but by the end of the first year, loved his new school / life. There were many life lessons about resilience, different people/ cultures, etc and it gave him confidence to try new things and travel. He was excited to move to DC.

So, no "hard pass" for you, eh?

You still going on about that, weirdo? And after you attempted to apologize. Something is deeply wrong with you.
Hard pass to you.

[Anonymous]

No, if they are opposed to moving I would let them finish out their school years, particularly the high schooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from CA to Fl for my son to start middle school, then from FL to DC for him entering 10th grade. He's an only child, not sporty and fairly introverted. The first move he was not enthusiastic about, but by the end of the first year, loved his new school / life. There were many life lessons about resilience, different people/ cultures, etc and it gave him confidence to try new things and travel. He was excited to move to DC.

So, no "hard pass" for you, eh?

And?

[Anonymous]

I moved during high school and absolutely hated it. To top it off, my father hated his new job and boss.

[Anonymous]

You should also weigh the potential the increased opportunities from your new salary that they would get. If this job will help you cover grad school or a future down payment for your children, then they are old enough to understand and factor that into their feelings on moving. Ask them, what is more important, keeping the same friends or more resources available to you in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:unless your kids have some major health issues i would absolutely do it. you want to move for your job, and that matters, too. you and your life and your preferences count. your kids will out of home in 5-6 years. staying in DC because of their friends is absolutely insane. they can have a major fallout with their besties tomorrow and you missed your major life opportunity so that they could stay closer to larla?

I am not against moving with family.
However, you comments would’ve gone further without the disingenuous “stay closer to Larla” comment. That indicated you are thoughtless, dismissive of other and entitled, and sorely missing empathetic trait.
I pity your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should also weigh the potential the increased opportunities from your new salary that they would get. If this job will help you cover grad school or a future down payment for your children, then they are old enough to understand and factor that into their feelings on moving. Ask them, what is more important, keeping the same friends or more resources available to you in the future?

It’s not just about keeping the same friends. Do you not have a deeper understanding, or are you that much of a simpleton?
Money isn’t everything. Don’t we teach our kids that?
You can be bought, not all can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should also weigh the potential the increased opportunities from your new salary that they would get. If this job will help you cover grad school or a future down payment for your children, then they are old enough to understand and factor that into their feelings on moving. Ask them, what is more important, keeping the same friends or more resources available to you in the future?

DP. Friends and stability can be of value. Some don’t need or value the economic resources you’re speaking of more. Seems they have resources already, friends are not replaceable.

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn’t. One kid might be fine, the other would have a very hard time and it would likely affect our relationship for a long while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if they are opposed to moving I would let them finish out their school years, particularly the high schooler.

What a ridiculous response. What do you mean "if" they are opposed to moving? Virtually EVERY kid that age is going to be opposed to moving. The question is do you do it anyway?