Moving to a different state and impact on kids?

[Anonymous]

I have an amazing, once in a lifetime career opportunity to move to an excellent Chicago suburb. I would like to take this opportunity, and my spouse works from home entirely, so conceptually we could do this move. The public schools where we would move are just as good, if not better than MCPS, but I could even afford private with the new salary. However, we have two middle schoolers at MCPS who like where we are at and hate change. Could it be potentially devastating for them if we move? My kids are basically my only hesitation and I feel it’s like flipping a coin - it could be the worst decision ever for them if I take the job and move, such as them immediately falling in with a bad crowd, or it could be incredible for them and then our family would get to live in the Chicago area.

What are people’s thoughts on moving kids in late middle school/9th grade? Have you seen it go well or seen it go horribly? Any studies or statistics on this? If I knew a move would result poorly for my kids, then I would turn down the offer.

[Anonymous]

It went well for us. But my kids like adventure and change. You need to talk to the kids - see if they're open to it. Consider if they make friends easily or it's been difficult for them to even have two.

[Anonymous]

Moving to a new school in 9th was hard for me, but I was shy. I know other kids who are outgoing and it was completely fine. I would take it. Sounds exciting! Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Good to move when kids are in middle school. They can help plan and choose a house. They can look at schools. They are able to shift at a time where relationships with friends are already in flux so much less of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

It will be totally fine!!! We moved across the country when the kids were that age and one bawled her eyes out when we left and by the time we pulled into the new city she had already forgotten about the old one she was so excited.

The transition was pretty smooth for both kids, even though neither love change. Just be positive and confident about it. They look to you for cues as to how worried they should be.

[Anonymous]

I’d do it in a heartbeat

[Anonymous]

One thing to consider - have you ever moved previously and, even if not, have your kids been at all primed for the idea that they might move at some point?

The biggest question for me would be whether they make friends easily and whether they have natural ways to make connections through their interests - like if they are really into soccer that’s going to be a good entry point but if their thing is art it may be harder to find their place.

[Anonymous]

I have one (rising 9th) who would give up a fantastic group of friends and a not-easily replicated EC. She would NOT want to move. My rising 6th grader would be fine but I wouldn’t move for the 9th grader alone. She’s in a great place and I wouldn’t do that to her. Plus we live in Virginia and I want to take advantage of the instate college system here. Will you be paying for private college OP?

[Anonymous]

Personally I would never move to Chicago or a suburb or said city but that's me.

[Anonymous]

My husband moved 6 times as a kid. While he didn't love moving, the only one that was a huge problem was the move in the middle of high school. He adapted fine to all of the other moves.

Middle school is a perfect time to move. The kids will get over it.

[Anonymous]

I would hate the climate and would never consider it for the winters. The job would be a hard pass for that alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Hard pass.

Are your kids weirdos or something?

[Anonymous]

Here you go OP. Ages 12-14 are the hardest for kids.

https://medium.com/@washingtonpost/moving-as-a-child-can-change-who-you-are-as-an-adult-c40e46740156

[Anonymous]

OP, kids are resilient, Chicago is a great city (better than DC!), and this is a great opportunity. You'll regret for the rest of your life not doing it.

These posters have lost their minds.