Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

Do you understand how work contracts and schedules work?

Presuming you’re a professional, what would you do if your boss knocked on your door on Saturday morning and insisted you work? Laugh in their face, obviously. Au pair should do the same.

[Anonymous]

Offer her extra money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Offer her extra money.

That would involve asking her to help, which OP hasn't done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.

Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.

NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.

I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.

But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.

How is she supposed to know her employer would like her to “jump in”?

What happened to clear communication?

[Anonymous]

If you are so sick that you can’t parent your child why not ask your husband to come home from his “fishing trip” rather than expecting your brand new Aupair to step in to work on her scheduled day off?

[Anonymous]

OP hasn’t been back in hours. Why are we beating a dead horse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

Do you understand how work contracts and schedules work?

Presuming you’re a professional, what would you do if your boss knocked on your door on Saturday morning and insisted you work? Laugh in their face, obviously. Au pair should do the same.

Nope I am a professional and do jump on a call on Saturday or Sunday when my boss asks. Doubly would do so if I was a new employee. It’s not clear though that OP has actually asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with all of the above and if you really can't function, have the sheriff's department locate your DH in wherever he is with no cell service and ask him to return home.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

Do you understand how work contracts and schedules work?

Presuming you’re a professional, what would you do if your boss knocked on your door on Saturday morning and insisted you work? Laugh in their face, obviously. Au pair should do the same.

Nope I am a professional and do jump on a call on Saturday or Sunday when my boss asks. Doubly would do so if I was a new employee. It’s not clear though that OP has actually asked.

It's actually clear from the OP that she has not asked. She says she wants to, but not that she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Good lord, OP, go ask her.

But you might want to dial back that attitude. “Classes”? Why the air quotes? She is spending time in her room? Is that not allowed? It’s been awkward? Why? Have you not been welcoming? You are not starting off well with this au pair.

I'm just guessing here, but OP probably isn't being welcoming because she woke up with fever and is trying to take care of a difficult 3 yr old while she can't reach her husband. She's busy and doesn't have the time or health to bake brownies and blow up balloons for the au pair.

It’s a COLD. She won’t die. Every damn one of us has taken care of our children with a cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.

Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.

NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.

I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.

But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.

What attitude are you talking about? Op hasn't said one word about the au pair's attitude. What in the world? Op hasn't even asked her to do anything yet. Think it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

Do you understand how work contracts and schedules work?

Presuming you’re a professional, what would you do if your boss knocked on your door on Saturday morning and insisted you work? Laugh in their face, obviously. Au pair should do the same.

No, I wouldn't. I would do that work. OF COURSE. And I would expect my boss to give me another day off and remember the effort when it came time for a promotion or a raise.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is insane. I cannot comprehend how anyone believes an au pair should be able to respond to her bosses wishes, which weren't communicated, via telepathy...on her first day of work, on her time off, while she's busy with school work. I think op could be a troll (I don't even understand what she's trying to complain about), yet we have an army of crazy people backing her up. And someone else thinks we should use county resources to have the sheriff track down her husband to let him know his wife has a cold. "Hello Sheriff? Yeah, my husband is fishing and I have a cold...."

DCum has lost its mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I am so ready for the Me Too-type obliviation of the au pair situation.

She has a work schedule, right? Today is not on it? SHE’S NOT THERE. Just because you’ve chosen to compensate her partly with housing and an exploitative visa program doesn’t make her different from another employee. You can ask her if she’s willing to change her schedule, but frankly I don’t think you should because given the live-in, your-visa-depends-on-it nature of your employment relationship it would be hard for her to say no.

+1 totally agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

Do you understand how work contracts and schedules work?

Presuming you’re a professional, what would you do if your boss knocked on your door on Saturday morning and insisted you work? Laugh in their face, obviously. Au pair should do the same.

No, I wouldn't. I would do that work. OF COURSE. And I would expect my boss to give me another day off and remember the effort when it came time for a promotion or a raise.

I feel sorry for your family that they would so easily take a backseat to your job.