Sick as a dog - husband gone on fishing trip and au pair is off.

[Anonymous]

You are way too entitled. Turn the TV on and rest on the couch. Your kid will watch for a bit.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need an au pair for one 3 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.

Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.

NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.

I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.

But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.

[Anonymous]

Leave your AP alone.

I WOH and DH was gone all last week. Both kids (3 and 1) had RSV and ear infections. Then I got their cold and a horrid cough. Our wonderful nanny offered to stay after her hours to help me but I insisted she go home at her regular time. I did dinner, bath and books - then bed for all of us! I’m not a martyr but I needed to know I could do it. And I did it.

Trust me, you’ll feel better about yourself if you parent your own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

If you’re a manager, Pp, you’re a bad one. This is the employee’s first DAY on the job and her scheduled day off. OP can ask but never, ever demand. That serves absolutely no one.

I'm so proud of my kids. I taught them to have a good work ethic but I wasn't sure it would take. The first day on my DC's job there was a flood and the bosses had to drag a bunch of dirty wet things out of the basement and mop. Not my DC's job. But they jumped in and started doing the work anyway.

If you expect mediocrity from people, that's what you'll get. And if you expect the best....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.

Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.

NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.

I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.

But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.

The au pair doesn’t even know! She just moved in yesterday and she’s off on weekends. She has no clue what OP wants or needs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

If you’re a manager, Pp, you’re a bad one. This is the employee’s first DAY on the job and her scheduled day off. OP can ask but never, ever demand. That serves absolutely no one.

I'm so proud of my kids. I taught them to have a good work ethic but I wasn't sure it would take. The first day on my DC's job there was a flood and the bosses had to drag a bunch of dirty wet things out of the basement and mop. Not my DC's job. But they jumped in and started doing the work anyway.

If you expect mediocrity from people, that's what you'll get. And if you expect the best....

The AP doesn’t even know her boss can’t handle it! She moved in yesterday. I expect the best from myself as a boss and that includes respecting my employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

If you’re a manager, Pp, you’re a bad one. This is the employee’s first DAY on the job and her scheduled day off. OP can ask but never, ever demand. That serves absolutely no one.

I'm so proud of my kids. I taught them to have a good work ethic but I wasn't sure it would take. The first day on my DC's job there was a flood and the bosses had to drag a bunch of dirty wet things out of the basement and mop. Not my DC's job. But they jumped in and started doing the work anyway.

If you expect mediocrity from people, that's what you'll get. And if you expect the best....

And did your child show up on their day off to mop the floor without being asked? No. But thanks for the random anecdote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

Ew. Your three year old is still in diapers? Why am I not surprised you can’t handle him alone.

Eh, stop that. It's unproductive. Maybe he turned 3 yesterday. Maybe he's got special needs that makes him slow to toilet train. Maybe he's just stubborn. Regardless, she has fever and can't toilet train him today. Today, she needs help. Because she's sick.

NP here. Oh get off it! Who here has never taken care if their kids when sick? OP is as bratty as her poor kid.

I have. I'm a single mom. Once I had to take care of my kids alone when we were ALL vomiting at the same time. Literally, all of us. It was horrible. Guess who cleaned everything up and hauled the couch to the curb.

But I didn't have an au pair. You all sound like you've never held a job before. I would fire an employee who didn't jump in to lend a hand when something unexpected came up. And you're not doing this au pair any favors acting like she will make it in the job market with an attitude like that. Unless she wants to work at Burger King, she should be taught a decent work ethic and that means when your boss is sick, you pick up the slack. She can take off another day of the week.[/quote

An au pair is not a a 24/7 servant at your beck and call. People like you who willingly take advantage of au pairs are why international au pair exchanges need to be ended. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/au-pairs-in-u-s-often-treated-as-servants-critics-say/

[Anonymous]

OP—

Some of us have had to take care of multiple young kids while sick. It sucks. We get through it.

It’s not the au pair’s fault.

(Signed, mom of three kids who once woke up feeling like complete hell the day I was hosting a kids’ birthday party. My husband had to be out-of-town last minute and was several thousand miles away. And my illness turned out to be shingles. So you could be hosting a dozen six year olds plus two other kids of your own. Cope.)

I hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

Your AP probably expects that if you don’t have things under control you will call the child’s other parent before asking a brand new au pair to work extra hours, and since you aren’t doing that probably assumes you have it under control. Why is she supposed to care more than your husband does?

[Anonymous]

She JUST moved in yesterday, she's not working today, and OP apparently hasn't even asked her to swap hours. Blaming the au pair is absurd. I wouldn't assume that someone with a head cold was incapable of taking care of their own kid.

[Anonymous]

“Classes”? You sound like a nightmare employer.

I was a single mom with two kids under five. You can’t handle a weekend? I do not feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she home, behind the closed door? Tell her to come out and have a work day, and she gets a day off later in the week. Does she know you're sick? I would seriously FIRE an au pair who let me take care of a 3 year old while I was sick as a dog. What kind of work ethic does someone like that have anyway?

Knock on the door. Be her boss. Tell her you need her to work today because you're sick.

If you’re a manager, Pp, you’re a bad one. This is the employee’s first DAY on the job and her scheduled day off. OP can ask but never, ever demand. That serves absolutely no one.

I'm so proud of my kids. I taught them to have a good work ethic but I wasn't sure it would take. The first day on my DC's job there was a flood and the bosses had to drag a bunch of dirty wet things out of the basement and mop. Not my DC's job. But they jumped in and started doing the work anyway.

If you expect mediocrity from people, that's what you'll get. And if you expect the best....

Do you expect your kids to read minds and see through doors? Because that’s what OP’s au pair would need to do in order to pitch in and help her.

If you expect super-human power from people, you’re going to be Dian’s, frankly, an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had an au pair move in yesterday - it’s been awkward. She alternâtes between spending some time with us and then spending hours alone in her room with the door closed.

Im sick as a dog. I’m trying to care for my 3 y/o and he’s a complete handful. He’s pulling things off the counter and kicking and screaming when I try to change his diaper. I just grabbed his leg when he kicked me and said NO loudly - which made him cry and I feel like an awful mother.

My husband has been away and out of cell service range on a 4 day fishing trip. I have no family nearby to call. I really want to ask the au pair of she could watch my 3 y/o but she’s been intent on sitting in bed on her laptop doing "classes" …

Our au pair was in country already and was in friendly rematch with another family. She’s been here 7 months, she’s not homesick.

So, you have a cold. You haven't actually asked the au pair to help out. You're just mad that she's not reading your mind. Which, sorry, is stupid.

Also, if you feel like a bad mom because you stopped your kid from kicking you by grabbing his leg and saying no, then you have a LONG road ahead of you.