Unhappy With Summer Pre-College Program

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people saying that your daughter should make more of an effort are being a little unkind. I've never heard of a pre college program that doesn't plan a host of activities. My daughter just came back from a similar program but for music and they did so much (planned by counselors and RAs and the program) - musical concerts, movie nights, ice cream socials, game nights, etc. I'd expect that. These kids are still in high school.

Agree. These aren’t college age kids and the programs know that, so expecting that level of social skill and initiative is unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is supposed to be a taste of college life, you need to back off. It's up to your daughter to go knock on someone's door and say "Hi, I'm Gemma; wanna hang out/go for a walk to get ice cream/watch a Netflix show with me?" College is not about being coddled. Your daughter needs to push herself socially. Part of college is learning how to do that.

This comes across as rather insensitive. At least at my college, the RAs made real effort to plan activities for first year students. And it was their job to look out for the more introverted kids and try to get them to come out for some structured activities to help them meet people.

Well, at my college the RA's were useless except for making a posterboard chart to track how often people puked from drinking. I literally DID stop in at open doors in my hallway and say "Hi, I'm Gemma; I'm going to the blah blah in 15, want to come?" all the first week I was there to make friends. I said hi to people sitting next to me in each class. I pushed myself. I was 17 and decided to ACT like the confident out-going person I wished I was.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Well, she advertised game night on the group chat the director suggested and only 2 kids showed up and one left after half an hour to go study and go the gym. She doesn’t think it’s that much work, so I don’t fully understand that. And she’s an A student, so I tend to trust her judgment.

She is sad and doesn’t understand where everyone went or how they all managed to find friends in 5 days, which is what I said to the director…that kids would form cliques. I am really sad and mad right now, but proud of her that she tried to do what the adults really should have been doing. So, she’s drawing in her room. I suggested to at least go sit in one of the public spaces and maybe some people would strike up a conversation.

She doesn’t want to come home and says she’s determined to make a friend, which is kind of breaking my heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well, she advertised game night on the group chat the director suggested and only 2 kids showed up and one left after half an hour to go study and go the gym. She doesn’t think it’s that much work, so I don’t fully understand that. And she’s an A student, so I tend to trust her judgment.

She is sad and doesn’t understand where everyone went or how they all managed to find friends in 5 days, which is what I said to the director…that kids would form cliques. I am really sad and mad right now, but proud of her that she tried to do what the adults really should have been doing. So, she’s drawing in her room. I suggested to at least go sit in one of the public spaces and maybe some people would strike up a conversation.

She doesn’t want to come home and says she’s determined to make a friend, which is kind of breaking my heart.

I posted up thread that my similar daughter is going to a pre-college program next week. She would have loved to go to game night! I'm so sad for your daughter.

Please name the program. It was so hard to research these programs and know what they are actually like outside of class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

[Anonymous]

Two people isn’t bad! Neither is half an hour.commend her for reaching out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

Not OP, but presumably because her child wanted to. The kind of child who signs up for CTY enjoys learning and academic challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well, she advertised game night on the group chat the director suggested and only 2 kids showed up and one left after half an hour to go study and go the gym. She doesn’t think it’s that much work, so I don’t fully understand that. And she’s an A student, so I tend to trust her judgment.

She is sad and doesn’t understand where everyone went or how they all managed to find friends in 5 days, which is what I said to the director…that kids would form cliques. I am really sad and mad right now, but proud of her that she tried to do what the adults really should have been doing. So, she’s drawing in her room. I suggested to at least go sit in one of the public spaces and maybe some people would strike up a conversation.

She doesn’t want to come home and says she’s determined to make a friend, which is kind of breaking my heart.

I posted up thread that my similar daughter is going to a pre-college program next week. She would have loved to go to game night! I'm so sad for your daughter.



Please name the program. It was so hard to research these programs and know what they are actually like outside of class.

Hi! I hope it is a better experience. I’m sure that many are, and I’m pretty sure at least some kids must be having fun at this one. I don’t want to name names now in the hope that things improve. And it’s too late for anyone to go next year. But I’ll post a different review in the camp forum when this is over. But I hope your daughter has more fun.

I’m not going to keep responding about why we chose an academic program because tons of parents do for various reasons, including that your kid likes learning and isn’t into the traditional camp experience.

[Anonymous]

*to go UNTIL next year…sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two people isn’t bad! Neither is half an hour.commend her for reaching out

I did. I’m actually really proud of her. She never would have even done that a year ago. I wish I could give her a big hug. I know that’s a really tiny thing for some teens, but that was going out on a limb for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

Not OP, but presumably because her child wanted to. The kind of child who signs up for CTY enjoys learning and academic challenges.

Yea, she really seems to be enjoying herself . . .

Besides, OP has said nothing to suggest that "her child wanted to." It sounds like the mother signed her up because SHE did it in high school and liked it. And the whole CTY thing is rarely, rarely child driven.

If I were a college admissions person, not only would I view spending summers doing this not to be an advantage -- I'd hold it against the applicant. Doing things like this with your summer does not a well-rounded and interesting person make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

Not OP, but presumably because her child wanted to. The kind of child who signs up for CTY enjoys learning and academic challenges.

Yea, she really seems to be enjoying herself . . .

Besides, OP has said nothing to suggest that "her child wanted to." It sounds like the mother signed her up because SHE did it in high school and liked it. And the whole CTY thing is rarely, rarely child driven.

If I were a college admissions person, not only would I view spending summers doing this not to be an advantage -- I'd hold it against the applicant. Doing things like this with your summer does not a well-rounded and interesting person make.

Shut up. You’re not helping. (Not OP, btw)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

Not OP, but presumably because her child wanted to. The kind of child who signs up for CTY enjoys learning and academic challenges.

Yea, she really seems to be enjoying herself . . .

Besides, OP has said nothing to suggest that "her child wanted to." It sounds like the mother signed her up because SHE did it in high school and liked it. And the whole CTY thing is rarely, rarely child driven.

If I were a college admissions person, not only would I view spending summers doing this not to be an advantage -- I'd hold it against the applicant. Doing things like this with your summer does not a well-rounded and interesting person make.

Shut up. You’re not helping. (Not OP, btw)

Sorry. I happen to think the whole thing was a terrible idea. And I just don't understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP, but why on earth would you send a kid to a month-long "pre-college" program when they're gonna be in real college before you know it?

OP here. It's just a term that's used for academic programs held on college campuses. They sort of give high school students a little "taste" of college. Some people do them thinking they will help with college admissions, which they almost always don't (with a few exceptions). We did it as a way to:

1. Give our kid a little independence. (Force a little independence...)
2. Help her think about what kind of college she'd like to attend. (Did she like a campus experience? Would she rather be in a city? Big? Small? Just thinking about what she liked and didn't like when she starts more seriously considering schools next year...)
3. Meet some nice people.
4. Take an interesting class. There was also a research component that was interesting to her for what she thinks she wants to study.

If you have the money, they may or may not be worth it as an experience. But as some people pointed out, they are far from a necessity. I had very good experiences with then when I was in high school, and I made some cool friends and broadened my horizons--which is what I am hoping for with my kid. I do need to think about that first reason and realize that even if I'm not thrilled with the program so far, this does foster independence, and I should try and let her work through that.

I'll rephrase: why on earth are you having your kid do anything academic in the summer at all?

Not OP, but presumably because her child wanted to. The kind of child who signs up for CTY enjoys learning and academic challenges.

Yea, she really seems to be enjoying herself . . .

Besides, OP has said nothing to suggest that "her child wanted to." It sounds like the mother signed her up because SHE did it in high school and liked it. And the whole CTY thing is rarely, rarely child driven.

If I were a college admissions person, not only would I view spending summers doing this not to be an advantage -- I'd hold it against the applicant. Doing things like this with your summer does not a well-rounded and interesting person make.

Shut up. You’re not helping. (Not OP, btw)

Sorry. I happen to think the whole thing was a terrible idea. And I just don't understand it.

OP…my kid WANTED to. She originally wanted MATH camp, which I thought sounded horribly boring and didn’t pan out anyway. I suggested an art program because she loves art, but she didn’t want to show people her work. I thought the kids would be more likely to be fun and accepting at a creative program, but she liked the research aspect of this. So, I didn’t force her at all. Done.