Unhappy With Summer Pre-College Program
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Anonymous
| My cousins daughter was just in one and her roommate fell in love with another woman and moved into her dorm room (mattress and all.) My cousin thought it was probably a good preparation for what Dorm life will be like lol. Sounds like your kid is really pushing herself which is great! |
Anonymous
| Hi OP, I’d feel the same as you do and as others said, you made the best choice with the info available to you. Beyond the good advice you gave your child to try to organize say board game night, my advice is to reach back out to the program director again with specific requests, not a general complaint about there not being social options. For example, I’d say - your program advertises outside of class social engagement, what specifically do you have planned for this? And ask them to name what specific activities, how often they meet, etc. This could force them into planning things if they haven’t, or you can make specific requests to up the frequency (eg, movie night once per week - can they make it twice). You paid a lot of money for this and these are reasonable requests. |
Anonymous
| Did the program description indicate they would provide social activities outside of the school work? |
Anonymous
I have a similar kid (with an actual autism diagnosis) who is soon starting a pre-college program. The website talks about social events in the evening, but it will certainly be less structured than the camps she's done in the past, and I'm nervous. My daughter's program is only two weeks long so I'm trying to think of it as a low stakes way of learning which skills we need to target before graduation. I hope your daughter is able to get benefit from her month -- and I share your worry. |
Anonymous
This is just basic stuff for programs like this. In the stone ages when I spent the summer at Rensselaer, there were optional activities after class was over. This was not well thought out. Every program that I ever participated in had social activities planned. OP - can you send some games for her to play with others? She can just sent out (or ask one of the RAs to send) an email to ask if anyone wants to play cards/Monopoly/whatever in the lounge? |
Anonymous
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Since it’s academic is there homework to do in the evenings or research or reading? might be why no evening activities
A month is kind of long for a program - is it possible more kids are coming for just 2 weeks and activities will pick up the ? last since you mentioned your child is hesitant in social settings - is it possible she is reporting a worse situation the. is actually happening? or does she take a while to acclimate to a new situation before she can become social? is so time is the only thing that will help |
Anonymous
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OP here. They specifically described weekend excursions, most of which I didn't find that interesting but weren't announced until after we'd committed to the program. The first was a team building exercise involving crossing over some kind of creek or something using planks. That's fine, but also not exactly the kind of thing where you get to know other people you've never met before....or at least I don't think of it that way. That was the first day of camp and it's been nothing since then.
They didn't describe nighttime activities but they do specifically talk about getting to know other people and they even use some quotes from former students that make it seem like it was a great academically and socially. I really just assumed they would have some things for the teens to do since they have a 10 pm curfew and there are no cars allowed. I guess that was on me. I went to programs sort of like this as a teenager, and I know I was introverted. But I still made friends. How? I don't really remember. It really is weirdly like they made no attempt for the kids to meet, though. Yeah. I actually had her bring some board games with her specifically because she is introverted, and I thought it would be a good way to break the ice--and she's kind of nerdy, and I thought they would attract the other nerdy kids. There is homework, but my kid didn't seem to feel it was very overwhelming--compared to what she does at school. Her class is over is at 4pm and she doesn't have her next thing until 10am the next day, so there is lots of time to study and still have time to have a little fun. It is a month long program. No more kids coming. And yeah...I did wonder if my kid was reporting what was happening. But she isn't really upset. She's used to being alone, so staying by herself in her room isn't upsetting to her. It's more disappointing to me because I didn't pay 6,000 dollars for that. I think she wants more interaction but she's not crying or asking to come home. |
Anonymous
| BTW, I mean 10PM curfew to be in the dorm...not like in your room or asleep. |
Anonymous
| Anecdotally, I have heard accounts from friends that kids are having a hard time meeting other kids because they are all on their phones all the time (and in separate rooms because of Covid). This is at other programs and even as freshmen in college. |
Anonymous
| I would not be surprised if they are understaffed. I am noticing that a lot this summer. My kid's camp is very leanly staffed this year and they aren't offering as much as in the past. |
Anonymous
I did just think about this, considering what happened with CTY. But they have about 8 RAs for about 70 kids. And I think the RAs are really only around in the evenings, when the teens are. So, that seems like you could have 1 RA a night plan SOMETHING. Right? Even if it was just showing a movie or being present for some activity. |
Anonymous
| If this is supposed to be a taste of college life, you need to back off. It's up to your daughter to go knock on someone's door and say "Hi, I'm Gemma; wanna hang out/go for a walk to get ice cream/watch a Netflix show with me?" College is not about being coddled. Your daughter needs to push herself socially. Part of college is learning how to do that. |
Anonymous
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Interesting. I taught in a for profit program on a college campus. They planned tons of activities. But I was teaching 12-15 year olds. Maybe they planned less for the high schoolers.
OP, the situation you describe is actually a way more realistic portrait of what it may be like to make friends on college. Might be good practice for your kid. Try to encourage her to work with the RA to plan activities. The game night is a good idea. What city is it in? Maybe other things could be: trips off campus to local sites (this could be harder if it requires transport), bonfire with marshmallows (may not be allowed), movie night (ok but not as social), etc. FYI, I did not have to deal with parent complaints, but I overheard them when I was in the main office. These parents can be sooooo entitled and obnoxious. You would not believe the things parents called in with. Stuff like, the lunch line is too long. And the kids were often spoiled and unappreciative of the fun activities they planned. Like, they had a day trip planned to a local amusement park or outings to movie theaters or interesting local sites and the kids were like, shrug. Whoever you spoke with probably listens to complaints all day. I would be polite and focus on your daughter's emotional well being and just say you'd like them to work with the RAs to plan some social mingling opportunities. Also, ask them what they DO have planned. That will give you an idea of how accurate your daughter's portrayal is and then you can also say, honey, why don't you go to THIS activity. |
Anonymous
| I think you are asking for a lot. Your daughter has time to meet and mingle with others, she just chooses not to do so. No one can makes friends for her, she has to do it. That is college life, after all. She seems fine and you seem like the one upset. Let her handle this. |
Anonymous
Is there a reason your daughter can knock on someone’s door and ask if they want to join her in watching a movie in her room? |