Unhappy With Summer Pre-College Program

[Anonymous]

I've been talking with my husband about this but wanted some feedback from other parents. We paid about 6,000 dollars to send our teen to a pre-college program. We didn't do it because we thought there would be any leg up on admissions. It was just a way for our kid (who has only done online summer school for the last two summers because of the pandemic) to have some independence, get a taste of college life, meet people, have some interesting academic experiences. And that's how the program is pitched. It's an academic program, but there's also supposed to be socializing and getting to know other teens.

That is a lot of money. We can afford it, but it's not peanuts.

This is only the 5th day. The program is a month long, so that is a short time but there is time for it to improve. But so far I'm disappointed. The academic aspect hasn't been great so far (some things were not really thought out), but I'm most upset that they aren't providing any fun social interactions for the teens, so my kid is just sitting in her room at night (no roommate). Like not even optional games or a movie or anything to get kids to get to know one another. I'm sure the extroverted kids are finding friends. But mine is an introvert. You've got 70 kids sitting in dorm rooms in one building. And you have nothing for them to do but study?

I called the camp director to ask about this and just got a lot of, "Oh, thank you for your suggestions."

I told my kid to try and be more assertive, since the program isn't providing any of these interactions, and she's going to try and organize a game night. There are like 8 RAs in the dorm they're in. I'm not sure why it's so hard to create one optional activity in the evenings just for fun. My kid isn't miserable, but she isn't learning much and she hasn't made any friends. I'm feeling really disappointed and mad at myself for choosing this program. For a lot of reasons, I really wanted this to be a good experience, and I'm pretty disappointed at the lack of planning for so much money. I could have just put my kid in summer school again for 250 bucks or had her take a class at a community college. I was paying for the experience. I kind of feel scammed. And this is a well known college.

So, this is just me venting. And telling parents to be careful. I didn't know anyone personally who had been to this program before. I just knew the college and because it's sponsored by the college, I assumed it would be well run.

[Anonymous]

Also, I know I said I wanted feedback, but maybe that's not true...especially if it's, "You're an idiot for spending so much money on a program like this." Because I already feel like that now. I actually went to several programs sort of like this when I was in high school and had some great experiences. But they definitely had more of a fun vibe than this program, which was hard to tell until we got there.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your an idiot. We make the best decisions we can at any given time and this has been a rough two years.

Okay, so you have contact and a plan. A game night is a good start. If it goes well, maybe she can host it twice a week. Turn this into a different type of experience where she plans and hosts something. I’m also an introvert and it would be hard for me but an extremely valuable skill. Try to come up with some other things she can do.

Is there a common area where they can watch a movie? Can she try to organize a movie night?

[Anonymous]

Some of my friends enroll their kids in such programs. I say they're good for getting a feel for dorm and campus life, but it's a hefty price tag to pay for the experience

In terms of content, there are great programs out there, and kids who have been happy with the educational and social aspect. I suppose people get to know of them by word of mouth, and by doing a close reading of what each camp offers on their website. Socialization activities need to be specifically described.

My rising senior has not attended any such camps, and I don't think he's missing out.

[Anonymous]

OP, why is your teen doing summer school every summer for the last 3 summers? In our area, kids have NO BREAK from the academic pressure of high school. Have her get a job at the local pool or ice cream shop.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you are an idiot. I sent my daughter to a program I didn’t know much about this summer, for a lot of reasons you mentioned, and I on the other hand have been pleasantly surprised by how active the RAs have been. This is a dorm for girls, and they do things like organize game nights, bingo, spa night (face masks and the like). For the fourth of July, they put together a carnival day with water balloons etc - a way for the teens to just get silly and act like kids. You aren’t asking too much, OP. (Although I do wonder if the RAs were supposed to be doing stuff like this and just aren’t following through, so maybe your phone call will set things into action?)

[Anonymous]

I would be disappointed too. My dd never did 'pre-college" per se, but for 2 summers she went to a campus-based academic program for the same reasons you sent your kid. It was a lot of money for us, but it fit into our priorities so we made it happen. The program clearly understood they had young teens to take care of and created opportunities for them to interact and have a good social experience. I think your expectations are completely reasonable and I'm sorry it's not been fun so far for your dd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your an idiot. We make the best decisions we can at any given time and this has been a rough two years.

Okay, so you have contact and a plan. A game night is a good start. If it goes well, maybe she can host it twice a week. Turn this into a different type of experience where she plans and hosts something. I’m also an introvert and it would be hard for me but an extremely valuable skill. Try to come up with some other things she can do.

Is there a common area where they can watch a movie? Can she try to organize a movie night?

Thank you. You're right. Honestly, if she could do that, it would be great because it's something she really struggles with at home. I'm really hoping other kids come tonight. She can't be the ONLY kid who doesn't know what do. I hope? Or it really is a sad situation where she is the only person who hasn't managed to find a friend.

If this does go well, I will encourage her to do it again. I don't know if they have a projector or a big tv. I feel like they should? But I didn't see one when I was there. But I think a movie night would also be a great idea.

I'm frustrated that we paid so much money and she has to do this when I think the program should be providing this. But I guess it is what it is....either it works out or we just take her out early.

[Anonymous]

Please name and shame the college and the program. You will be doing public service in steering other parents away from poorly run program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why is your teen doing summer school every summer for the last 3 summers? In our area, kids have NO BREAK from the academic pressure of high school. Have her get a job at the local pool or ice cream shop.

yes, why continual summer school? If you want your kid to make friends, have her get a job or do activities where she actually interacts with other teenagers.
I really don't get it. I feel very sorry for your kid.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you. It's good to know I'm not being unreasonable.

As for why my kid just did summer school, she was supposed to go to a CTY camp after 8th grade, which got cancelled after Covid. (And then some got cancelled this year too, ironically!) So, she just did Econ through online college and online PE to get it out of the way for 9th grade. Nothing was really open or happening that year because of Covid.

Last summer we did think about programs, but they were kind of spotty too. She wasn't driving so we would have had to drive her back and forth to any job, and honestly....I wasn't sure if she was emotionally mature enough because she's very quiet. So we just did online PE again to knock that out, and we travelled a little. She actually still doesn't have her full license. She can technically get it, but she really needs more practice before she's comfortable driving. So, it wasn't like she was being overloaded with academics.

I guess I will see what happens. There is a director of summer programs I could contact if I really wanted to do it. But I will give it a few more days and see if this can turn around. After the program is over, I'll definitely give a review under the camps naming names so people can avoid this program--or at least just know what they're getting into. Maybe it's not bad. It's just not what I expected.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Also, my kid is a little "spectrum-y," Not so much that you would really notice, but making friends is hard for her. So a lot of typical activities that kids would do and make friends doing don't work so well. She will often just keep to herself. And she might have done that at this program, and I couldn't have blamed them. But we have worked hard this year to get her to come out of her shell more and be more comfortable with herself in a variety of ways, so that's why I had high hopes. She did extracurricular things at school this year.

[Anonymous]

Op, this is disappointing. I’m surprised it’s so poorly run. Is it Brown? Would you share the name of the program, as I’m thinking of sending my son to one next summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Also, my kid is a little "spectrum-y," Not so much that you would really notice, but making friends is hard for her. So a lot of typical activities that kids would do and make friends doing don't work so well. She will often just keep to herself. And she might have done that at this program, and I couldn't have blamed them. But we have worked hard this year to get her to come out of her shell more and be more comfortable with herself in a variety of ways, so that's why I had high hopes. She did extracurricular things at school this year.

Hm. This could be it. These programs are often very loose and give kids a lot of freedom—that might be hard for a kid like this. (I have one too.) it makes it hard to gauge whethrr other kids are having a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Also, my kid is a little "spectrum-y," Not so much that you would really notice, but making friends is hard for her. So a lot of typical activities that kids would do and make friends doing don't work so well. She will often just keep to herself. And she might have done that at this program, and I couldn't have blamed them. But we have worked hard this year to get her to come out of her shell more and be more comfortable with herself in a variety of ways, so that's why I had high hopes. She did extracurricular things at school this year.

Hm. This could be it. These programs are often very loose and give kids a lot of freedom—that might be hard for a kid like this. (I have one too.) it makes it hard to gauge whethrr other kids are having a great time.

Yeah. It definitely does. And if the program provided some opportunities and my kid didn't participate, I wouldn't blame them. I'm just disappointed that they aren't.